Absolutely not. Work belongs at work. The day I am forced to download Slack to a personal phone is the day I slope off into the woods like a matted, decrepit old wolf that knows it's going to die soon

Invented a new form of therapy where you put up a shelf, fill it with aesthetically pleasing handmade ceramics, and stare at it until you feel better I'm calling it Mindful Meditative Pottery Observation Therapy or "mm, pot" for short

Launched this week and they're repeating words already!

*Adored* issue #2, so preordering #3 was an automatic response. Only wish i hadn't arrived late to the party and missed #1!

There's one of them massive wall of text ads for Jack Daniels at stockwell tube station and I know the ad copy is trying to mimic that gravel-gargle drawl from the TV voiceover but it still irks me they have the line "as if, all the sudden". "All the sudden"??

My life is FINE and in ORDER and the fact that I'm eating spoonfuls of whisky salted caramel spread from the jar whilst doomscrolling til my eyes burn pink is CIRCUMSTANTIAL and UNRELATED and should not be noted in the official record

Power bottom, topless weapon, is Wardle's game (9)

"A-meow-zing" was *right there*

Actually, I let everyone live rent free in my head. I reject landlordism. It's called praxis. Look it up.

in honour of international womens' day, an open letter to male tiktok comedians: it's long past time: please, *please* retire the TTW* *tea towel wig

Who called it 3-in-1 body wash and not "lavage à trois"?

M&S' branding whizzed, now they've seen which way the wind is blowing with their crunchy pilates demographic:

I'm not actually one of them internet people what does it all professional like, but you're all more than welcome to watch an elder millennial struggle through a computer game for a few hours if that's your bag: twitch.tv/mistersolipsis

I'm rather enjoying the implication that there *are* songs of Wales, it's just not easy to play them. Advanced mode only. New Game++

Intense relief to be overlooked for this, tbh.

just dropped a can of whoopass on the floor. it's fucking everywhere. it's under the fridge

I think I have the evil wario doppelgänger of this anecdote: went to an awful new year's party in (inexplicably, for me) knightsbridge and ended up in the bar of that one big fuck-off hotel where I paid £12 for a schweppes soda water. It was not a mischarge.

Invented a new form of therapy where you put up a shelf, fill it with aesthetically pleasing handmade ceramics, and stare at it until you feel better I'm calling it Mindful Meditative Pottery Observation Therapy or "mm, pot" for short

Horrifying, cringe-inducing, unbidden childhood memory: Music Recital playing a TV theme medley (eastenders, blackadder, touch of frost) extremely poorly on an alto sax to a hall of wincing, pained parental expressions, all clearly visible in the halogen school hall lights

Life is extremely kiki right now and I would really like it to be just a little more bouba

I have finally relented this week and on the advice of friends and colleagues I am Giving Podcasts A Go again (fifteenth time's the charm). I've listened to the first few episodes of Mark's podcast (the first one I downloaded) and... I'm still giving podcasts a chance, so it must be *reet good*.

I'm livid, I've just got a new phone and in doing so have found out the Beeb took my favourite-to-revisit horror audio drama The Sink off their Sounds app so I can't redownload it. I don't even know who to whinge to about it, it's not like "BBC Sounds" has a social media presence

My wand-sweep action if given access to the wheels and gears of power for an hour would be to make ~3 months of hospitality shift work mandatory at the start of one's career - for all the benefits to the individual listed below, and the empathy it would inject into restaurant- and bar-goers broadly.

Go see ABK wherever you have the opportunity, obviously, but also: this has reminded me that I once got the Cadbury flake song stuck in my head and decided to expunge it by learning it by ear on the alto saxophone. (My brain? Normal, thanks, how's yours?)

I know it's the Internet and therefore expectations should be summarily tempered, but can't help feel like everyone is getting worse at "if this doesn't describe me, then it's not my business and does not require my input". Sara & other comedy writers expected to cultivate a saintly patience online:

(sea monster bio) You've probably seen my writhing in The Atlantic

Do you reckon ethically non-monogamous clowns form ridicules?

Dominic the Hominid

I used to love computer it was my friend. Now I have hate in my heart

I take some small solace that the richest, shittest man on the planet has so much fucked up his body with weird supplements and surgeries that he looks like 3 tetrahedrons wrapped in suppurating rehydrated gelatinous pig hide and is also, as you can clearly see from the below, ceaselessly miserable.

Depends if that specific cupboard has a little glass window or not, imo

When they’re next hiring a Steward of Gondor, part of the interview process should be “can you eat tomatoes”

Take care of your knees and shoulders now, so you don't ache when it rains later. Even if they heal, they're never quite right again.

I think I have one or two more pointless Emails Job career changes left in me before I tear my smart/casual quarter-zip from my battered and broken carcass and gallop, howling and insane, into the woods

if they can offer free AI training they could offer free media literacy training too. i know which of those would do more for the public good

Okay right what if "turkey teeth" were actually turkey beaks instead of teeth? And they all opened and shut like actual beaks. It would be like having a crab mouth. Recursive chomping all the way down. [The speed dating bell rings and I, still single, move to the next table]

my secret film opinion is I dont think biopics are real films. they're something else. 90% of them are also shit

Decided to play a new indie game I bought in a sale a while back, and was expecting some fairly lighthearted fare on account of it's a cartoon dog on a motorbike. Opening scene has another dog crucified with its own viscera by us-military-coded birds and it's really only gotten more brutal. A++

I think I have one or two more pointless Emails Job career changes left in me before I tear my smart/casual quarter-zip from my battered and broken carcass and gallop, howling and insane, into the woods

don't know how id go about proving this but one of the main design programs being called 'figma' feels like a trap for people who are too online

watched 12 angry men for the first time recently and am now fully obsessed with Martin Balsam's slutty little short sleeve shirt. covet. (/lust.)

I think about this quote from the Luddite movement all the time

Slightly diminish a game. DOOM temporary* *(until Richmond council approves planning permit 22b for permanent DOOM structure to be installed)

Watched this one too many times and now I have the oss code phrase "the muntjac has titanium balls" stuck in my head on loop

Norway making bold new strides in the world of fusion cuisine:

FOR IDRIS ELBA (Palindrome) Able sir, did nobody fit recognise it ties in? Go, certify — do Bond, Idris Elba!

bringing back chaucerian slang to outflank the RETVRN chuds from the other side of the timeline. let's see them outswither a trewe swynkere

Every year chocolates get smaller and more expensive. Extrapolating backwards, in 1906 a Creme Egg would have been the size of Rochester Cathedral and they would have paid you 12 guineas to eat it.

happy new year all you lovely goodfolk - glad tidings and well wishes to all here's to hope, in general, and hoping for 2026 to be the year it all gets better, in the specific

This is just going to always be my go-to response to this kind of thing anthonymoser.github.io/writing/ai/h...