The quietest part out loud.

I’m doing the jauntiest, fireworks of a Noh dance over DOJ getting shutdown on the Letitia James case.

What does the 🐓💩🍊🤡 think MRI stands for? Wrong answers only.

@latenightseth.bsky.social why does your brother look like you and Gavin Newsom had a baby handsomer than either of you alone?

What do the 🐓💩🍊🤡 and Haguseth think is going to happen by throwing Bradley under the aircraft carrier, so to speak? Do they understand what that’ll do to chain of command? NO! Do they think it encourages service members to continue blindly following orders or will they start refusing illegal ones?

@hakeem-jeffries.bsky.social calling someone a political hack is like the 🐓💩🍊🤡 calling someone a convicted felon.

At what point does an authoritarian become a tyrant? Asking for a…🐓💩🍊🤡.

The cynical a$$holes in the Tepublican Party are banking on America forgetting by 2028. We cannot let that happen.

"No one's going to build a factory based on a tariff that's on on Monday, off on... Tuesday, the president's changed his mind by Wednesday, he gets hormonal by Thursday and someone says something nasty in the middle school cafeteria on Friday and they're back on again."

The president is a felon and his cabinet now includes a war criminal and a puppy murderer.

You cannot convince me these images aren’t the same Thing.

Those fake pearls Marge Three-Toes Peachtree Greene is clutching came from the 🐓💩🍊🤡

1 Onion Subscriber vs 20 Non-Subscribers. Watch our new series, Encircled, and take advantage of our 25% Black Friday sale at https://membership.theonion.com/?campaign=701cx00000QRRoLAAX

Regina George is feeling ignored.

I’m almost as committed to defeating @hakeem-jeffries.bsky.social and @schumer.senate.gov as I am to imprisoning the 🐓💩🍊🤡.

The Democrat version on DOGE needs to disband ICE (and deport Bovino). Rebuild it from the ground up sans the racism.

Why won’t my iPhone move the 🤡 and 🍊to ‘most recent’ tab? I have my suspicions.

In Monrovia, California, protesters are purchasing 17¢ ICE scrapers from Home Depot and immediately returning them to create long lines and slow down the entire store. Their aim is to disrupt sales and convey a message opposing ICE raids occurring in their neighborhood.

What if the major broadcaster all went on strike to protest the 🐓💩🍊🤡’s of cancelling their licenses?

Who’s down to Bangladesh the 🐓💩🍊🤡?

He’s urging and will sign the bill then throw Bondi under the bus. He’s hoping MAGA will let him claim plausible deniability

Ask a Republican to define ‘pedophile’ today.

So what’re the chances the 🐓💩🍊🤡 is helping Satanyahoo with Gaza so he can retire to the only country in the world that welcomes pedos?

Dan Bovino needs a sandwich, STAT!

Who has the link to “Sandwiches for Protesters”?

“TURN THE VOLUME UP!!!”

“Mamdani, are you going to vote for him?” SCHUMER: “I have a good relationship with him and we’re continuing to talk.”🤔 “The vote is on Tuesday.” SCHUMER: *walks away* At least have the guts to say “NO” and be a man @SenSchumer, this is just pathetic.

Three men — Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, and Jeff Bezos — now own more wealth than 165 million Americans combined. They own the media. They own the algorithms. They own politicians in both parties. The system is rigged — but We the People can take it back.

If ICE comes to Honolulu we need a general strike on Waikiki and clog both Kalakaua and Kuhio with protesters.

I’m the most asinine critic. “Why didn’t they just use the fatass 🐓💩🍊🤡 as the wrecking ball?!?!”

Since the 🐓💩🍊🤡 started the Presidential Hall/Walk and put and auto pen image for Biden we better make sure his is the picture of him and his best buddy Jeff. Better yet, make it Ghislaine.

Dems need to parade George Santos all over DC in drag.

Hi, I'm the ProPublica reporter who's been tracking an unusual stat: U.S. citizens grabbed by immigration agents. I did it because the government isn’t. This is what I found.

Someone please explain to me like you would to a republican how you can “vote for” something when your vote is “No”.

How old is Pete Hegseth? Intellectually I mean.

WTF is going on with @actblueorg.bsky.social? I’m getting solicitations at about one an hour today. Do y’all think Jeffries and Schumer are doing a job worthy of support?

anyone have eyes on Rittenhouse???

I don't support what happened to Charlie Kirk, but Charlie Kirk supporters support what happened to Charlie Kirk.

I refuse to continue financing @democrats.org until @schumer.senate.gov amd @hakeem-jeffries.bsky.social are replaced. Period. @actblueorg.bsky.social can fuck off till then.

👀

“Charlie Kirk in His Own Words” 17 quotes you should read from the right-wing activist and Trump ally who was tragically shot and killed on Wednesday in Utah.

Revelry in this matter is as heinous as the murder itself.

SCOTUS should be randomly selected from the pool of federal judges each session.

Proof.

And I can't be fired for the comment below because I'm independent. If I do lose any engagements, so be it.

Charlie Kirk is my favorite martyr.