Anyone downwind of this sundowning walrus turd is taking their life into their own hands

When a threat sounds more like a sexy promise

Believing that Full J. Diaper swung all seven swing states after seeing last night’s results in NYC, Virginia, California, New Jersey, fucking Mississippi (!!) and beyond is like believing he’s into Teen Vogue for the articles

Happy Zohran Day to all who celebrate. And Happy Clowning Yourself on the Internet Day to @repandyogles

Greg Abbott knows as much about how tariffs work as he knows about competitive track and field

Your daily reminder that Public Access Caligula is a lifelong and prolific pedophile.

Christians hate what’s in between the covers of the Bible like it was someone else’s bed

Live Laugh Eva Braun works through stuff faster than Donald making his way towards an unaccompanied minor

A haunted house for MAGA would just be any place where someone’s reminding them of the age of consent

Most nauseating couple since Stephen Miller stood in front of a mirror

It occurred to me that I’ve never drawn this Keebler gremlin before, which feels like quite an omission given the role he’s played as Salacious Crumb to Traitor the Hutt.

Oh good now we’ve entered the nuclear weapons stage of distracting people from focusing on the prolific kid-raping at the tiny hands of a sundowning pedophile

Kudos to @cmdropatlargeca for somehow making sweaty overcompensation in a cheap duster even more deeply uncool than it already is

NYC! I don’t live in you but thoughts are with you as early voting is underway and gearing up for what will hopefully be a blowout November 4th. This nepo creepshow doesn’t understand the word “no” but that doesn’t mean getting to say it to him again won’t feel fucking amazing.

Rumor is that it takes @jaketapper 27 years to regrow a spine like it was Pennywise the clown terrorizing Derry

The good news for starving Americans under a Trump presidency is that there will always be a market for selling your kids to the regime for Donny’s “massages”

Can’t wait for the pitchfork party that awaits Latex Luthor once he lays off upwards of 600,000 Amazon employees and replaces them with A.I.

Actual footage of a sun-damaged mayonnaise sculpture explaining why he’s cutting off SNAP benefits

Some people will destroy a country and force 42 million people into starvation just to avoid admitting they’re covering for a lifelong pedophile

Trump said his MRI was “perfect” which is a strange result for someone who looks like a pile of hospital laundry recovered from a flood

By “people” he means all of us

Give it to me straight doc

Nothing says “alpha male” like lashing out over a tweet you don’t understand that still manages to hurt your feelings

For the internet hot-takers who think Nazism began with gas chambers and ghettos

Steve Bannon is a milk-eyed doggie bag of lasagna and spiderwebs so he really knows “an instrument of divine will” when he sees one

The funny thing about President Friendless Urinal Cake demolishing part of the White House to make room for an Insecurity Ballroom that sits on top of his eventual suicide bunker is that he is a lifelong and prolific rapist of children.

Not all heroes wear capes, some wear polka dots and flats.

Trump gets a lot of well-deserved shit but the unmovable clowns who keep supporting him deserve even more

WE NEED A GENERAL STRIKE! Rallies are necessary tools but if we want to make real change, we’ve got to go after the only place that matters: their wallets. There will always be more of us than them, so let’s take the power back. Check @thegeneralstrikeus.bsky.social for info and to join the fight

Here’s hoping they serve the same ultimate purpose for their inhabitants

Look all I’m saying is that Amber J. Alert has always been verrrrry open about his taste for kids, so whatever is in those Epstein files must by some wild shit for him to start a civil war over

When you’re a sundowning pedophile who inspires 7 million people to hit the streets over how much they hate you, the best response is definitely to throw an A.I. tantrum

This Chinless Dust Mummy will do anything to get out of answering a question

For a group that fetishizes the Revolutionary War like it was a racist podcaster, MAGA sure has a basic misunderstanding of who they were fighting against

I’m not under any illusions that today’s rallies will change anything but at least Pedolph will be reminded that he has an approval rating matched only by pediatric cancer

Watching VP Teddy Ruxpin attempt to cosplay as a human person is great if you’re trying to murder your appetite

No Kings is poised to be the biggest in U.S. history and I hope anyone who can comes out to express the right to free speech and assembly while we still have it. Don’t forget to stop by your local Antifa HQ for instructions and to pick up your Soros check. Stay safe out there everybody xox

Cmon everybody they’re just kooky 30-year-old kids, give em a break

It’s not lying if it’s the truth 🤷‍♂️

Hitler lolz are no biggie but if you make fun of a racist podcaster this hobbit lumberjack will fucking hunt you down

When people tell you who they are for the thousandth time, believe them

Tis the season to be as spooky as a septuagenarian who can’t read the room

To be fair, @time had the impossible task of trying to catch Friendless Urinal Cake’s “good side”

All the weirdos triggered by Indigenous Peoples’ Day should cry their dumb eyes out about it in a smallpox blanket

It’s amazing watching so many people choose the wrong side of history while history is happening all around us

They wear masks for a reason

Bet these fascist turds didn’t realize when the Bible says “The trials we face will increase our faith” it would mean the Nuremberg kind

Antifa: we escalate when you subjugate

It’s been one month without being able to add any new quotes to this list which is, unlike the person who said them, a good thing for humanity

Antifa, like any good bogeyman, takes many forms