i do both

April 9, 1997: Atlanta's Dikembe Mutombo with three consecutive blocked shots—and three consecutive finger wags. Mutombo finished with 6 BLK and the Hawks defeated the 76ers in Philadelphia, 116-101.

Posting a pic of my drunk friend with the caption: "POV: Your cabbaged AF!!" and passing out. At 1:34am, my crush replies "Lol! :-)" for me to find in the morning. Unfortunately at 3:23am I'm dismembered by a life sized clown statue because I didn't send a chain email to 10 people in 2009

i gotta go through and preserve the hits of the Orange Julius account me and my buddy ian ran

February 19, 1994: Houston’s Hakeem Olajuwon with the chasedown block on Kevin Johnson's dunk attempt. Olajuwon finished with 14 PTS/7 REB/5 BLK, Otis Thorpe had 20 PTS/18 REB, and Vernon Maxwell scored 25 PTS in the Rockets' 106-88 win over the Phoenix Suns.

new concept i just came up with: swagma. it’s like when you have swag and you’re a sigma

valentine’s day or whatever.

atheist gf: can you please just be normal while my family is here christian bf: *hanging special orbs on a magic tree* are you folks washed in the soul cleansing blood of the lamb? guy who says 'hot water heater': i'm a sold car salesman soviet trent reznor: head laika hole

Ok no way you're telling me that if you put a cricket in an air fryer it wouldn't come out delicious. (Guy reads this post, finds a cricket on his porch, air fries it and eats it, and gets Cricket Disease and dies)* *Authors note: Guy who did this was Bad Luck Brian

me: it's so windy… do you have a hair tie? settlers of catan player: no but i can give you three lighters if you give me a hair tie

diet dr. pepper

Well, well, well vaping is dangerous now, huh? Now remind me again how I made the “wrong choice” by sticking with good old fashioned snorting tobacco

Deciding "Thoughts and Prayers" is a fine thing to say tells me that y'all haven't been fingered by your Māori boyfriends and it SHOWS.

tfw you get poop on your birth certificate

electricians are here today and the guy was talking to my cutout for a few seconds then goes "WOAH!" and realizes im in another room. gonna throw up.

Holy shit

kids these days don’t even know about swagatha christie

no no, mr. sigma was my father’s name. please just call me lukery

erm… what the echinoderm?

Dropped my vape into the toilet while peeing when I woke up. Feels like an omen for the day ahead (I quit vaping and develop a piss fetish)

Share this with anyone who thinks nerds can't rap! #rap

apparentely the admin of a muppet fan page sexually harrassed a funko pop influencer

is disturbia by rihanna the best song of all time? probably not but it’s close

guy named chris anthemum

penis tuah

mario in real life compilation

Family Guy 7