The gift of prophecy

Fox & Friends are gonna say the Best Picture winner was Fuck ICE: The Movie and I want to be absolutely clear that they'll be right.

I love how the Italians and Venezuelans both have so much fun during these games, it’s joyous to watch, and the Americans play the game with a stern look on their collective face like their Sam the Eagle from the Muppets

I am begging people to find a sense of proportionality

Venezuela-Italy is gonna be the vibiest vibe fest ever, I can’t wait

Son of Cerdo requested Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory but “the good one, not the stupid weird one”

There’s certain things I feel I know to be absolutely true despite having zero evidence to support them. One of these is that Trump has called the Strait of Hormuz the Strait of Hormel

EXTREMELY DAD-CODED COMPLAINT: If a company is going to sell a product with a stick on label, then they should make sure that label can be removed CLEANLY

Jesus Christ I feel like investigators will need to bathe in bleach after looking at these two dipshits’ hard drives

Huh

This was the White House's war plan: Day #1 : Bomb Day #2: Iran becomes a white Christian nationalist country Day #3: Free gas Day 4: Kid Rock concert/UFC fight broadcast from Tehran So far, things are a bit off track

The SAVE plan, which allowed student loan borrowers to pay back their loans based on their income, is dead after the Trump administration refused to defend it in court. Now, monthly payments will spike by as much as 400%. Trump is making the affordability crisis worse by the day.

Irony is dead

Picked Son of Cerdo up from basketball practice and we went to the brewery because one of the bartenders is moving and it’s his last day. Kiddo insisted so he could give him a picture he drew

#sext Pork Milanese with cavatappi with cashew-basil pesto, sautéed carrots and bell peppers, pecorino Romano, lemon juice, finely grated lemon zest, and finished with New Mexico red chile flake

Shouting from across the continent: @eboldy.bsky.social ALIIIIIIIIIII

Watch this space

Seems important!

Sounds like we might have some….. DIRE STRAITS

Hey @eboldy.bsky.social FYI

I have a fair amount of leeway for “separate the art from the artist” at times but I fully believe that “include the artist’s Major Problems in all mentions of the artist’s work” should be a standard

This is like firing a BB gun at a speeding freight train

Annnd he followed that up by coughing up 2 home runs to these espresso chugging, “ITS-A ME, MARIO” bastards

Lol JFC McLean opens the game by striking out the side on ELEVEN pitches

I do not give the IRGC or any entities associated with Iran permission to mine the Strait of Hormuz. With this statement I give notice to the IRGC it is strictly forbidden to mine the Strait. The violation of ukase can be punished by law (UCC 1308 11 308103 and the Rome Statute).

Lololol hell yes

also I enjoy the Stephen Sommers MUMMY but come on, why doesn't THE ROCKETEER get mentioned in the same breath when talking "fun 90s pulp adventure throwback starring ridiculously photogenic people."

Today would’ve been my dad’s 72nd birthday. If you’re so inclined, raise one to Dale tonight

Listen y’all, we just don’t understand the 5-D chess that President Biff Tannen is playing, otherwise this would seem like a frustratingly easy consequence to predict of his unnecessary and reckless war in Iran

someone at the pentagon frantically typing “Claude, open the strait of Hormuz for me, quickest possible strategy, make no mistakes.”

So THE DEETS Ribs were rubbed with: Chili powder Garlic powder Onion powder Ginger Salt & pepper Mustard powder Cumin Sumac Mexican Oregano Yellow mustard binder

Et voila!

Cayuts gotta get rid of Pope. I know he’s an alum, I know he loves the program. But it ain’t enough. We are constantly unprepared for big boy competition and that’s squarely on him. That, and we have *zero* recruiting

Georgia Beer Day!

Unsolicited meat pic

/spells out BOOBIES on an old Casio calculator: “OMG THIS THING MIGHT BE CONSCIOUS!!!!1!!!”

FUUUUUUUCK YES HE LOVED EVERY MINUTE

It’s time. Son of Cerdo. Batman 1989.

Ended up cobbling something together for the boy and I and I arrived at chicken cordon bleu quesadillas

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Lol blocked over salt. That’s a new one

And he’ll still get reelected!

Me in my 20s: Hell yeah, bar gets going at 11, we aren heading out before then! Me in my 40s: I’ve learned more about Kosher salt processing differences and have changed accordingly

Rest in piss you racist sack of shit

If you smell toast, you might be having a stroke... a stroke of luck that is. It’s toast time.

#sext Arroz con pollo with saffron, New Mexico red chile powder, ancho chile powder, cumin, Mexican oregano, fresh cilantro, red bell pepper, poblano, and mushrooms.

/wakes up and checks score EAT SHIT, IOWA STATE

You see, it’s fine, because President Biff Tannen will just lie and say the prices are “down, like way down, down so much you can’t even believe, so much better than Sleepy Joe,” the press won’t push back and the headline will read “Trump triumphant on energy prices” or some shit

MOTHERFUCKER