At long last, Son of Cerdo is finally going back to school

Worthless!

While conservatives are debating work requirements, waste, abuse, and fraud for social safety net programs The Pentagon has failed 8 consecutive audits www.reuters.com/world/us/pen...

Good god it’s foggy out. It’s like I’m living in Silent Hill.

The President is quite literally out of his mind

Ok, so if I’m reading this right: Our dementia addled pedophile fascist President ordered US troops into another country in a clear act of war, kidnapped the internationally recognized leader AND his wife, just to charge him with drug trafficking?

I went back to bed and HOLY SHIT this is a hell of a thing to wake up to

Turned on the Holiday Bowl to cheer on my beloved alma mater and JEEEEESUS. Craig James is gonna have to kill a hooker at halftime just to release some of the autosexual tension

/America to Kalen DeBoer right now

START THE CLOCK BACK UP SO THEY CAN KEEP BEATING THE CRAP OUT OF THOSE FRAUDS

They finally stopped at 2 AM because one of the neighbors called the cops on them.

Five. Straight. Fucking. Hours.

Ya boi batted 1.000 this year on closing those rings. Silly, I know, but I’m glad I stuck with it

Oh good, the neighbors have already started shooting off fireworks

I had to submit every person, included myself, along with driver’s license photos, who we allow to pick up Son of Cerdo from daycare. This guy, like all of them, is a bad faith clown. Tell him to fuck off

i do find it a fascinating assumption rightwingers are making that they should be able to walk into any daycare center and observe random peoples children whenever they want

Beveraverages!

I would take out a HELOC to bet on this happening.

LET’S. FUCKING. GOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Every. Time.

About to fire up a classic for Son of Cerdo and I

Took Son of Cerdo to the bar to teach him the intricacies of naval warfare (play Battleship)

“I’m still punk as fuck,” he whispers to himself as he takes his daily fiber supplement

Why are we always so concerned with these fucking losers’ feelings? THEY’LL BE FINE, TELL THEM TO SUCK IT UP AND STOP BITCHING

Malik Willis won’t do the Lambeau Leap because he knows most of those people would call the cops on him for breaking into the stadium

I will watch just about anything, but the Chris Pratt AI judge movie might be the dumbest fucking idea I’ve ever seen in my goddamn life

The only thing that @cantantecerdo.bsky.social (# 1 connoisseur of both Beverly Crusher Ghost Smut fanfiction AND pornography involving as many tentacles as possible) got right here is that I love Point Break

Hey Denis Villeneuve, you should cast @simuliu.bsky.social as Felix Leiter in the next Bond movie and pitch a separate franchise with him because it practically writes itself

I’m happy to report that @ginerso.bsky.social finally CONFIRMED her full back tattoo of her own personal Lord and Savior, Gary Busey, complete with full halo and a smaller tattoo of John Travolta looking lovingly up at the wild-eyed Chosen One

I grew up in the NINETIES where your PERSONALITY was forged by the RANDOM VHS tapes your family HAPPENED to HAVE

Hello, girls

another robot highlight for 2025: man wearing humanoid mocap suit kicks himself in the balls

I'm sure the 22 million people whose healthcare premiums will triple in six days are delighted by this news, you inhuman fuck.

pretty sure she’s the one who’s actually “fucking sixty”, if that helps.

Wait wait wait. Karoline Leavitt is 28 and is expecting her second child with her husband and her husband is FUCKING SIXTY?

“I was just telling SEA MAN BEAUMONT here”

Just watched Hunt for Red October for the 500th time, the boys on the Dallas are such a joy

For those of you expecting my hungover demise, I’m happy to report YA BOI is doing just fine

Doing Christmas dinner at The Cool Lesbians™️ and I made rosemary tomato focaccia and sharp cheddar bechamel potatoes

I got Son of Cerdo a Switch 2 in August and have been holding onto it for today and when he opened it he yelled “HOLY SHIT!” 😂😂😂 He’s definitely my son

IT BEGINS

Snack ready for the big man and his reindeer

When you get an unexpected package from @xhrsita.bsky.social

You shouldn’t back into parking spaces if you are incapable of doing so quickly and efficiently. (Also unnecessary 95% of the time)