P.s. this is in my garden of my own house that I now own and am the homeowner of 🤑🤑🤑

Update!! They’ve flowered!!!!!!

I reckon in a few weeks the sun will be setting just as I go out for my after work bifta 😌🌅

I’m doing it btw 😛

🎵 Rollercoaster, for slugs

Jimmy eat worm

A lot of days I really sympathize with that chicken who lived for a year after they got their head chopped off. Sometimes you have to get shit done even though you're in no condition to do it. Just gotta keep moving forward

A new Banksy has appeared

what if we kissed at the horny grasshopper cafe....

There’s some wonderful graphic design going on in my local Facebook group

ME: [posts a joke] PERSON WHO TAKES EVERY JOKE SERIOUSLY: this is my time to shine

I really wasn’t expecting this quite obvious joke to result in people being weird at me about free speech but that’s what has happened. Game’s gone!!!

these relics are a part of my religion

every one of aesop’s fables happened to me

Someone called me a tyrant because of my little joke

We should be allowed to use our remaining invite codes to ban people

Love coming on here once in a while to see what boring shit I don’t care about that everyone is pontificating on

Congrats on passing your January 2024 🏆

Yea dude. Verily.

Remember that Marquee Moon exists and you can just listen to it whenever

Look at my cool nails! Look at my weird claw hand too while you’re at it

I had this crazy idea that I might be able to knit this very complicated but beautiful unicorn cardigan but it’s very likely that I’ve bitten off more than i can chew… like who exactly do I think I am 🥴🧶

What is this a yarn for ants??

Slurping down glizzys at the Wimpy

Really recommend listening to Marty Robbins’ “Gunfighter Ballads And Trail Songs” if you want to pretend to be a cowboy instead of whatever boring job you actually do

As I get older I really appreciate the value of ‘going for a little stand outside and staring off into the distance’

🥴 i kept opening the oven to peek at it so it rose weirdly. And I realised too late that when it said “prick with a skewer” it meant a skewer not a chopstick. I’m sure it’ll be edible though 🫣

My bf wants a lemon drizzle cake for his birthday and I was sooo confident when I said “yes I’ll make you one it’ll be so easy” but now I’m actually attempting to make one and I feel humbled. I don’t know how to bake! What’s wrong with me

Some absolutely fascinating drama going down on neopets lately, if u even care

There are too many social medias. This is what bilbo baggins was referring to when he was like “I feel like butter scraped across too much bread” or whatever tf he said (idk never read it) (too busy on phone)

Quiet babe. People are digging.

Nooo don’t cut your life into pieces you’re so sexy aha

I knew someone that had two cats called Winnie and Pooh and ended up in a similar situation 😟

I knitted a whole pair of socks and I feel so powerful. If I can make a sock what else can I make? A car? A house??? 🧶

Sorry I haven’t been on here for a long time. it’s because I despise and loathe you all

My cat, an idiot: Those ornaments look exactly like my toys. Why can’t I play with them? Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord

me asking for whom the bell tolls

I’m applying for a mortgage and I’m suddenly convinced I’ve been accidentally living a life of crime without even knowing it, and it’s all gonna come to light when they run all their little checks and I’m going to get rejected and then sent to jail and then idk probably die as well?? 😰

Guess which luxury bitch got a jam advent calendar 😋

"oh we need AI oh we need this and that" what about a toilet you can flush an apple core down

People who walk on a treadmill in zoom meetings are just showing off, right? I know you’re not doing that for the entire day.

I knew my Spotify wrapped was gonna be exactly this lol

Lotsa people dying today huh

Pine more. Yearn about it

You are not gonna believe this pear!!!