I apologize to the 3 Ninjas fan community for the harm I've caused. youtube.com/shorts/bS_sJ...

Head down to your local Chipotle and get yourself some napkins and hot sauce- my treat.

From our awards show three months ago. Congrats to Xbox!

When you meet another Sonic fan

You shouldn’t let poets lie to you.

I organically thought of the phrase "The Threshold of Silence," with my own tormented, melancholic brain. However, after Googling it, I discovered that 5 billion other angsty shitheads already thought of it first.

they should present a game award

Would I go see a feature-length Youtube Poop movie?

your humor is very gun in cheek

It’s interesting to remember that hotels used to offer porn on their internal on-demand networks. Who curated these libraries? What parameters were used when selecting titles? When did they decide it was time to update their selection? We still have so much to learn from our ancestors.

Come and get me. #sf6

I saw your girl at the wishing well with a huge sack of coins

“Am I a dickhead?” he asked himself as he pulled into the “dickheads only” spot at Wawa.

I sure hope nobody radicalizes me uwu

Come on, pro skater. Go crazy.

You are the sea, not in it but be sea, endlessly thee.

Unknown User (You)

may the bridges you burn light your path

New plan: I'll work when I'm dead

Do they still tell sad high school kids that “it gets better?” Is that even ethical?

The contents of your own mind; read aloud.

I was considering treading on you, but then I saw that badass snake sticker on your car and decided to back off.

If you chew with your mouth open above the age of 6, you are biologically classified as a pig. I don’t make the rules- it’s just science.

There's at least one kid out there who can't bring themselves to play Friday Night Funkin' anymore because their ex once said "We're just like Boyfriend and Girlfriend."

I love when youtube recommends me a video that's literally already playing on my second monitor. Like oh yeah, you think I'd like that one huh? You stupid fucking bitch ass website.

Every single dog on the planet looks like this to me.

ciao bella babe can u hit me with your car

I remember when this country made its own hentai

My Pikachu is emotionally charged.

When I buy myself a little treat in this dystopian hellscape

its fucked up that you play a fighting game and want to win but then sometimes you lose

"water has no flavor" not true. dasani tastes notably worse than every other water

Can someone please tell the alien with a rocketship made of human bones and skin that you don’t “spam” buttons- you “mash” them. Mashing buttons causes you to spam actions. Thanks.

On Tuesdays we crash out.

Preheat the oven just to watch the numbers rise.

Thank god we only have one day a year to sow disappointment and distrust on social media.

Telling your child that karate will make them cool and confident seems particularly cruel in 2025. You may as well teach them to defend themselves with a Keyblade.

I’d like more gay friends. Tell me about your dudes while I vape and sigh.

My mouth tastes like dial-up.

I keep three (3) jugs of kerosene in the trunk of my car. The first person to rear-end me gets the divine opportunity to end it all in spectacular fashion. [FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED] [WHILE SUPPLIES LAST]

At this very moment, there’s a kid in the Pokémon World looking up at the sky and sighing- fantasizing about how cool it would be if the Football World was real.

Better Living Through Dissociation

A24 should make a movie about the vaporwave scene circa 2015-2020

Why didn't anybody tell me Resident Evil was so good?

images you can hear

My New Year’s resolution is to be struck by lightning.

Thinking about LSD: Dream Emulator before bed. If you dream in the game you dream for real.

I’m so out of touch with how to post on social media that I’m about to loop back around to posting song lyrics.