if I was Lord Darnley I simply would not have harassed and berated my wife until she blew my house up with me inside

Just had a daydream about a production of The Lion in Winter directed by John Waters and now I'm mad it's not real

Dressing like a slutty cowboy for jockstrap night. Groundbreaking.

In the mid-90s my parents sat me down to watch some weird new show their Gen X little siblings and younger friends were buzzing about, where apparently they used puppets to make fun of B movies. The binge has been uninterrupted for thirty years.

pfft i don't go outside anyway, if god wants to kill me he better try harder

it'd be one thing if outside had a pleasant campfirey smell, but instead it smells like the carpeted basement of a teamster and his wife who's smoked Virginia Slims since 1975

What a pity, Mr. Bond

I thought it was overcast but no that's just the color of the sky right now. Jesus

finally, an investor for my pesto turkish delight company

they're calling me one of the most accomplished cat puke cleaners of all time

this would imply that jerking off into a toilet is asynchronous sex and I love that

Given what a latecomer I am to all video games and how long it takes me to play them, I may still be playing Cyberpunk 2077 in the actual year 2077

🎵 GAMERA IS REALLY NEAT 🎵 🎵 HE IS FILLED WITH TURTLE MEAT 🎵

Not only one of the most underrated actors of his generation (I will die on the hill that he is the true standout performance in Possession), but nobody has ever aged this well. Possibly the only man who peaked at 75

bathing did, in fact, happen in the middle ages. and people just went to bathhouses. and yes had sex in them. nbd

This portrait gets posted as joke all the time, but my most controversial medieval opinion is that Philip the Handsome actually was handsome

not to brag but Patrick and I have the exact same age gap as Eleanor of Aquitaine and Henry II

Nikolaus Harnoncourt should have been tried at The Hague for his Mozart tempi

On balance I actually think it's fine to mock an evil person who died for being a self-loathing homosexual when they were alive.

Bluesky during England-Argentina

"AI is gonna take your job" ok sure let me know when ChatGPT loses its gag reflex

yes it’s a beautiful day outside but I’m high and there is unlimited mystery science theater on my tv

Watching Dana Bash literally shake while she's questioning Brad Lander because he refuses to be the kind of Jew she thinks he should be is incredible

i want to tell everyone who likes the gnoisiennes to listen to more Satie but that is dangerous advice given to the wrong person

Hey guys meta announced a new policy where they send a killer to get you so be sure to go to settings>my account > killer> disable killer to turn that off

In the early years of YouTube, when I was in college, this video got played at least once by the end of every party and everybody there would stop what they were doing to pay attention

Jay (of Jay and Silent Bob): thats right cogito ergo sum. thats ancience latin for suck my dick [BOOP] Lt Commander Data: jason, i must thank you. your defense of my humanity was... unconventional

so your son, is he... you know

double cutie alert

would sell my soul for chest hair that curls when it's wet

Man, nobody could build a shithouse like the WPA.

I love his face (this skeet is about you)

lol remember Mika

Considering a policy of not leaving the house anymore without reasonable assurances that someone will make out with me

damn i'm gonna have to make an al† aren't I

two of my favorite comedians ever are now oomf and i have posting anxiety

becomes more apparent every day that trivial/general knowledge is actually kind of important

Losing my mind at this Murder, She Wrote promo

“The greatest trick the devil ever pulled, was abbreviating antifascist to antifa” - Hemingway

this is how they kissed in early 2000s gay porn

Real idea: As part of the effort to get DC and PR statehood, next Dem president should invent about State Weeks. Each of the 52 states gets its own celebration week every year. A random July week is Montana week. Tourism bonanzas. Televised lottery every year for week placement. We ain't above this.

THE ACKROOMS

was trying to think of tweet that was stuck in my head from hearing country roads a lot recently….

Society if liberal-to-leftist straight podcast bros weren't terrified of being seen as gay nerds by people whose opinion they claim not to care about

when the first episode of I Love the 90s dropped i was so excited i had a party for it

Wannabe-Masc Lefties: lol those wokescold fags on bluesky do not understand what voters want Pretty Much Any Candidate Who Is Unpopular on Bluesky: Due to the great-grandmother stair-pushing allegations, of which I now realize I was already aware, I will be taking a step back,

All of this was over a guy endorsed by Matt Yglesias. I know the appeal of Platner was aesthetic for a lot of people who no longer wanted to be seen as gay nerds, but man, have some standards in selling out

Please show Patrick a little love and tenderness this week if you get the chance

this is the official scooby doo account

The older I get the more I think this is a way, way better movie than Dangerous Liaisons