The hunt is on! Hollow Knight: Silksong is available now on all platforms, including day one on Xbox Game Pass!

Chibi-Robo! joins Nintendo Switch Online’s GameCube library on August 21st! buff.ly/sAOSSJU

chat is it insensitive and smug to post about how much I love my wife

“I wish I knew what the textured portion of a tire that grips the road was called” The Snake of Automotive Knowledge:

A triple bingo is INSANE

My first Switch 2 Direct Bingo Board!!! Can’t wait to see what I got right!

Gov. Gavin Newsom of California signed legislation on Friday that authorized $50 million in state funds intended to counter President Trump's agenda.

I find it very fascinating that we still hold so much power over the right’s mental health. This dude went and got himself killed in a shootout with the cops cause he was mad that liberals exist. They control the government, the media, and the corporations and could just ignore us

this is how I feel rn (I haven’t worked theatre since 2023 and I’m so stoked to be back)

Me after calling someone a threat to democracy and a fascist

Forgot to post about it here but I’m so stoked about the Switch 2. Even if everything shown in the teaser was leaked, it’s so nice to have it all officially out there. Can’t wait for April!

90’s R&B will always slap

Finally got a new indigo DOL-001 GameCube. I got something crazy cooking with this one 👀

I ended 2023 with a back injury that left me temporarily unable to work. I ended 2024 with a back, leg, and head injury that left me temporarily unable to work. I think at the end of 2025 I’m going to explode.

Merry Goosemas, everybody!!!

Had a dream I was in my best friend’s wife’s harem

'TMI' is not a thing stop sanitizing everything and start talking about how the texture of your cum makes you feel insecure

My gaming Year in Review! Steam annoyingly doesn’t list playtimes— just playtime percentages— but I did the math and I played 286hrs on PC, resulting in 895hrs played on modern platforms this year!

I love when I actually clean all of my clothes like omg???? what should I wear? 🤭

This “one size fits all” ski mask is SKINTIGHT

Truly unfair that I can’t connect my brain to my PC via USB and upload the video game ideas I have up here. I can’t believe I have to actually work to achieve my vision. Someone needs to fix this

There’s been a loose turkey running around my town for the past couple of weeks and it A) hasn’t been caught or hit yet and B) loves to stand in the road. It caused a three-car collision today

You know, I’ve gotta respect the directness

You can’t trust someone named Theresa. There’s a what? They’re not even telling you the whole story.

Separate the artist from the art (love your friend even though their music is dogwater)

I’ve recently become friends with my ex’s brother. Things ended on bad terms with my ex and only got worse, BUT her family still adores me. Should I go with him to his family’s Thanksgiving and act like I don’t know my ex, yes or no

yeah lemme get a uhhhh croiggant

EMTSKMUAN, Iss. 5: I was a voracious reader growing up, which meant I saw a lot of words without hearing them. In sixth grade, I was talking in front of the entire class and tried to sneak in my new favourite word I’d read, grotesque… which I pronounced as “grow-teesk.” (1/2)

me n her pussy got a secret handshake

Leaves are falling? Temperature’s dropping? Yep; it’s finally autism 🍂☺️☕️

new copypasta just dropped

you live in the suburbs dawg why does your truck have a bbl

They’re calling it the most embarrassing gimmick account bit of all time

Finally— BlueSky is usable now

EMTSKMUAN, Ep. 4: When I was 17, I went to a girlfriend’s house to have dinner with her family. Her mom asked me what I wanted to drink— “we have soda, sweet tea, or water.” “Any chance you have apple juice?” She laughed and said “Well, since there’s no TODDLERS in the house, no.” (1/2)

Untitled Goose Game is $8.99 on Steam https://buff.ly/361mqdB $9.99 US eShop https://buff.ly/3YISaOR Switch/PS4 physical $21.28 US Dollars at VGP https://buff.ly/3Cwuci9 PNP Games https://buff.ly/4fQlTfz Deck verified also on PS+ Extra

i have to remind myself that the cringy hashtag challenges and quote chains were part of the natural ecosystem on twitter and we should let them run their course. they are an indication of growing biodiversity. but if i see a fucking trophy istg

Mayo Goose is BACK, BABY! It's truly the year of the mayo goose.

AITA

Something about the “this is the nice heckin doggo good place” posts raises my hackles…

Howard Hamlin might be my favourite character in all of the Breaking Bad series

EMTSKMUAN, Pt. 3: I accidentally lived with my girlfriend (now wife) and her family a few years back. I was on this kick of calling burgers “borgars” for some reason. One day, my now-MIL was asking everyone what they wanted to eat. I was on my phone and absentmindedly said “Hmmm… borgar…” (1/2)

How do I mute every post about how much better this app is that Twitter

Decorative pillows were invented by Big Furbishment to sell more decor

It’s really funny to go back to this thread from the Invite-Only days where people were acting like I was the Antichrist for posting invite codes on the timeline. Pretty sure someone said something like “When Trump joins, it’ll be all your fault,” but I’m not rereading all those comments lmfao

One time, I got ahold of Rudy Giuliani’s cell phone number and prank called him. He got so confused. Then I posted about it on Twitter and no one could reply to my tweet about it for a week

KID: mama i think there's a mobster under my bed ME: haha you mean a monster? VOICE (UNDER THE BED): christ lady im just italian