*gets trapped in jar* Aw fuck! *they poke airholes in the lid* That's not so bad. *they put a few blades of grass in the jar* You're lucky this is my favorite food.

oh no what have you done

My two settings

we need to talk

browt

suddenly adding a boatload of connections on l*nkedin what could it meannnn

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be supportive. Say stuff like, “Nice battling, dude.”

they kept making songs after Hey Ya for some reason

in a lot of ways I’m just killing time until I age into being one of those old guys who shows up to dunkin at 6 am and just hangs out in the cafe all day

got some drafts locked and loaded thanks bluesky

at last my text based social media experience is complete again ❕❕❕

oooo lady gagita

i was there when they killed mr peanut on live television we used to be a country

They are currently hot Latinas on my television, I was told Mr. Trump would stop this

My favorite artifact in the "you don't need AI to do art" discourse is, of course, screenwriter Dan O'Bannon's sketch of the facehugger to explain it to Giger.

If Weakened Friends plays a show in your city, do yourself a favor and go see them

[jason statham voice] they’re colled skeets mate. nawt tweets. tweets are frum the offa websoite

having guinea pig dreams again

These fraught times call for a show with what is either an intentionally or unintentionally hilarious title, and which I will be talking about for the rest of the year

they're executing moms and nurses in the street. they're using preschoolers as bait. they're stealing people's dads and grandmas and children. they're tear gassing babies. they're staking out schools. there is no remedy but abolition. any proposal that doesn't start there is an act of violence.

the hoisin sauce thing but it’s getting cold, can’t find the cardigan from yesterday, getting a new one from the closet, getting hot, and hanging it on the mountain of old ones

full album friday and this one is comin to you live from gold star baby by the aces open.spotify.com/album/3f5sWd...

man what a fucking year

In every Boomer's kitchen is either a can opener that no longer works or a needlessly elaborate can opener that is "more convenient" but incredibly opaque to understand. There will be no other can opener.

96% humidity

brb mouth breathing in the HEB bakery to take it all in

my turn to drive apparently, interesting what could it mean

keep grant in your thoughts we’re hitting road hour 8(?) and its big sky country thoughts time

all toasts are curses sorry it’s just the way it is

the leaping of my heart when the hold music cuts off before just looping again

Hi, I'm the CEO of Glorbo, the company who enjoys near unprecedented goodwill in our field, I'm here today to talk to you about our pivot to using the Magic 8-Ball powered by children's bones that everybody hates, I've given myself psychosis listening to the 8-ball aaaaeeeeeiiiiooouuuu

the land of misfit toys but it’s the mountain of saved drafts I would have if they let me

Shakespeare was just like, “enough historical drama, time for Island Wizard uses his daughter as sex-bait while disciplining these two mutants”

He is risen

One trailer drop and the hunger games fan editors are pulling OVERTIME god bless our troops

brb sobbing over a lego game

still no saved drafts I see

75 in Denver today and I know that’s Bad it’s also so so good

Sure we put you through a month of hell, but on the other hand we got nothing for it.

Travel always reminds me that everywhere really does exist and time really doesn’t

just a little something to take the edge off *attempts to hold 18 pound cat between two fingers*

friday friday friday let’s go listen up - Weakened Friends has a FRESH new music out for this full album friday

Totally fine

I contain multitudes (most of them are tortillas)

another full album Friday for the feed, this one goes out to the september-is-half-gone-get-coffee-with-friends-call-your-mom girlies

All my homies hate Kim dav*s

just make it exist first you can make it bear later