Ottawa and Gatineau. IYKYK. Also Vancouver and Victoria (shut up, it counts)

Can you make fajitas with ham?

YoUTube algo hits me with Arlo McKinley's "Die Midwestern" and immediately follows it up with The Band doing "Atlantic City". It's gonna be one of those nights, I guess.

These are the weirdest fuckin' Doritos I've ever had.

It's annoying because "soup for jetboil" just gives a bunch of freak prepper shit that requires an incantation recited backwards, components ratfucked from actual packaged meals, and dancing naked counterclockwise around a confederate flag under a full moon. Where are the single-packet solutions?!?

Okay, hear me out here - k-cups, but _soup_.

When in doubt, "eating leftover beef barbacoa and shredded cheese straight from the bag" isn't a terrible option.

And so we slowly regain order from entropy, one chord at a time.

Nothing like sitting in the bath reading a cute little romance novella, drinking Bushmills 12 and listening to Turnpikes... and your dumbass cat falls in.

We have a Perkins up here and we went for breakfast the other day, and it was... mid? Like, I could tell they cleaned the flattop a bit more often than the Denny's, but otherwise... eh?

Jesus Christ.

Squirrelzilla out here.

I need to know what the inside of the brain of the man who went "I should jam a Toyota engine into a Nissan engine bay" looks like.

ok i snorted

Fortunately, I already figured out the plots of the next several Toy Story films

Some of us haven't memory-holed the websites that were just a countdown until Britney/The Olson Twins/Some Other Girl became "legal".

Sustainable band lineups include four cool people (Ramones), four dorks (Weezer), or two cool people and two dorks (Cheap Trick). Unsustainable band lineups include one cool person and three dorks (Pixies)

Tapping the XKCD sign again to explain that no, I won't be seeing an aurora tonight. Or at least I really hope not. That would be bad. :)

Parade complete. Only -7 with the wind chill, not bad. Still, would be nice if just ONCE some fumblefuck didn't forget his bloody gabardine so I don't have to suffer for their mistakes.

you can't just bring back austin powers. the franchise wrote itself into a corner after he volunteered to stay behind forever in the shagadelic dimension to save foxxy and vanessa. they already brought him back once without explaining how he escaped from fembot island, the audience won't buy it

Man, NSN and CAF uniform kit sizes are just absolutely random gibberish. How is my CADPAT tunic 7348, but my DEI tunic is 7352, but my topcoat is 7650? Make it make sense!

Men will literally tell you not to get used to being treated well in a relationship and then act shocked when you go "okay, bye then, if you don't plan to continue to treat me well in the future." Anyway, male loneliness epidemic or something.

Me: *finds smoked pork tenderloin from the summer that my wife thawed out in the fridge* My brain: "Slice it up and put it in instant ramen". Guess what I did.

Lutheran Heat, for sure. Ratboys might be tight because of my work schedule, but I'm gonna make an effort.

A traditional Kiltbash

lol why put it this way

Yeah, pretty much.

Have you ever had the little thought of "but what if I -did- hit my thumb with this hammer?" I get that every time I see O'Leary's bald noggin.

I'll take two.

IYKYK.

I want video of that greasy little gremlin Portnoy packing his fucking U-Haul. I want to see him do it himself, little slimeball hates labour and unions, I hope he chokes on it.

the cia won’t see your jokes about rigging the virginia election. that’s the nsa’s job

I dunno about you, but I would feel mighty awkward heavin' out a grumper into what appears to be the minor child of a Cybermen and a Xerox machine.

And now for something completely different: youtu.be/j0YXfeNxJJ0?...

“Oh poor people can buy popsicles with food stamps” shut the fuck up the government gives perverts a trillion dollars in government money each year for pervert factories for billionaires the fucking popsicles are none of your fuckin business

Look, man, I realize that deadbolts and locks for your home aren't going to stop a truly determined attack, but after 90 minutes fucking around with the Chinesium ones that were installed by the previous homeowner and replacing them with "good" ones... material construction matters -a little bit-.

i love these little idiot asshole birds #art 🪶

Folks are going to want to argue with me about this, but you know what really adds some zing to a coleslaw? A healthy spoonful of mustard powder.

as a bird artist, in honor of tonight’s game i have attempted to draw the gorgeous blue jay as accurately as possible. as always please let me know if you have any constructive criticism

Please note: I did not say "painless".

Adding homemade Ghost Pepper hot sauce to generic Nissin brand Beef flavoured ramen: Challenging, but overall, enjoyable.

I have performed Masculinity for perhaps the last time this year. Lawn was given a quick mulch/mow to put it to bed, cleaned the weeds off the edge of the driveway, and overseeded the back lawn. Peer pressured not one, but TWO neighbors into lawn-ing as well. #MaximumDad

Ever have a moment where you're just rolling through your day, minding your own business, and BAM! Sesame Street theme song outta nowhere in your head, and it's all you can do not to hum/whistle/sing it for the rest of the goddamn day?!?

🐅, 🐘, 🦒

Watching Kirk hit and ramble around the bases is peak baseball. And I say this as someone who watched Olerud in his prime.

FUCK THE YANKEES!