Mascots should get NIL deals

The detectives investigating:

NBA Playoffs so far

Sound engineers at this nba game must also work for bluesky

Wow, @colorado.gov you're an insurrectionist now. Congrats, you bitch

🔥

Looks like Kim was the real slim shady all along

This Rocks! www.sfgate.com/local/articl...

A Mississippi bus driver shepherding about 40 children home from Hancock Middle School had an asthma attack last Wednesday that led her to black out while the bus was in drive. Quick-thinking students safely brought the vehicle to a halt.

been thinking about this joke a lot lately for no reason(s) in particular

There it is. Any questions?

“I was shaken when I left there. I had my eyes on the floor because I knew everyone was looking at me for my despicable behavior,” Thornell said in the interview at his home in Kenner, Louisiana. “But I didn’t leave without the picture.”

Rep Lee: "If a child is hungry, they'll probably not perform well. If a child has unstable housing, they might not perform well. If a child can't access a doctor, they might not perform well. That's not lowering expectations [of the child]. That's raising the expectations for a government..."

Alright, I’m home now so here’s the Norm update. Yesterday at 4pm, I got a text from a family I’ve been helping who had a loved one abducted a couple of days after Renée Good’s murder. This was the family that Norm Nation kept from being evicted (and you delivered). ICE had released their loved one.

Sorry to be overly sincere for a second, but here's why we decided to persevere through all of the bullshit and take over InfoWars. There's just gotta be a line somewhere. Thank you @pablo.show for letting me talk so openly about this.

With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars. We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director. Please stand by for more.

There's a war on for your mind. theonion.info

This picture of Astronaut Christina Koch after the Artemis landing is frankly incredible and beautiful.

When you're deadass and trying to link up with Athos, Porthos, and Aramis

I’ve been trying to figure out why I’ve been obsessed with the Artemis II mission — more obsessed than I usually am with NASA stuff. This explains it! (IG: morganevelyncook)

Child of the Kernel

Oh my gd, the Artemis II crew doing a parody of a bad 1980s sitcom intro from in space. Source: www.instagram.com/p/DWwuHPfCZ8Z/

“I will beat Geno’s ass” - Dawn Staley

My mom's dad was an absolute piece of shit. Awful to my grandmother. Racist. Ignorant. Just moronic as fuck. Also, the most unhealthy individual. Uncontrolled diabetes. Ate like shit. No exercise. Anyway, he still made it to 90 y/o without Walter Reed. ‘When it happens’ is not a winning strategy.

Celine Dion is returning to the stage for 10 concerts in Paris, she announced on Monday.

Most people just whine about how bad shit is without having the balls to run for office and change it. Kat’s endured physical assault, harassment, bigotry, misogyny, indictment on bullshit charges, and she’s still here! It would have broken most. @katmabu.bsky.social is a bad, brave motherfucker

Col. Lockjaw and his family

The Ascension of Christ, by Adriaen van der Werff, 1710, 📸 by Issac Baldizon

Sharpton: "We're still here! We've come this far by faith. It was against the law to read and write! It was against the law to marry, but we've come this far by faith. I don't care what they do in Washington, I care what we do in the community. We've beat people bigger than Trump!"

scrawny 18-year-old about to fall out of an army helicopter over tehran: this is so epic. this is totally sigma, right babe? AI e-girl operated by a balding intelligence officer in virginia: that's right baby, Iran is totally cringe

Check this out

Now I feel way better about the time I sent my child to a nut-free preK with a PB&J and was treated like I committed attempted manslaughter

Never forgiving a single one of the fucks responsible for this

Chop me in the throat

You don't need to do a voter suppression if you can just make the people whose votes you want to suppress die before November.

Kawhi insane, lmfaooo

Rep. Delia Ramirez to DHS officials: "I have as much respect for you as I do for the last white men who put on masks to terrorize communities of color. I have no respect for the inheritors of the Klanhood and the slave patrol. Those activities were criminal and so are yours."

Tytan and Notty were rescued a week apart from different parts of Kenya, but for the same unusual reason: both mothers died in cliff falls. The pair became immediate and inseparable friends, and it has been lovely to see them heal and embrace their Nursery life together: swt.bio/tytan

Also omg SZA

Cher said Luther Vandross, I am deceased

Happy for him, but this also feels like cheating

I’m ok. I’m a survivor so this small agitator isn’t going to intimidate me from doing my work. I don’t let bullies win. Grateful to my incredible constituents who rallied behind me. Minnesota strong.

I wrote about my childhood friend Alexi Pretti. Please read it and share it and remember him as a human being. @theverge.com

Shrinking already fucks me up emotionally (complimentary); this is going to ruin me.

How do you retire from beng a nazi though

Go to hell, Nazi bitch

You’ll feel less confused if you admit to yourself that some people don’t care about the suffering of others, and some people like it.