Greetings my phone friends

Hi 👋🏻

Good morning phone friends.

Hi 👋🏻

Get baked on the couch and chill?

Jesus is watching you heathens.

Snow

Im not too young for Life Alert, I think to myself as I shovel the driveway

10 out of 10 pieces of furniture prefer your little toe.

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is my favorite song about how people will only love you if you're useful.

Happy Saturday night out there.

Good morning people in my phone.

Good morning and tgif you heathens.

*face down in a ditch Happy holidays everyone.

I like you goys 👍🏻

Good morning friends and neighbours.

Good morning people in my phone

sorry i made your girl fall in love with me by loading the dishwasher properly

Hello heathens.

Good morning internet peeps.

Kids are a great reminder to think long and hard before you decide to have kids

Today feels like a good day to slip into a warm bowl of soup.

Good morning and happy sinful Sunday.

every fart is an act of faith

Being a menace, but in a jolly and festive way

I’m tired of giving friendly advice. I’m going to start offering violent alternatives

Hi 👋🏻

I feel drained and not in the good way.

Good morning people in my phone.

It’s nippily out there. Cover up the naughty bits.

Good morning heathens. Drink your water. Don’t be a dick.

It’s getting closer..

Nipply

Gallbladder surgery is scheduled for December 16. Merry Xmas to me.

Good day to all the people in my phone.