i may not be able to describe how this feels. but i just saw this photo i took of my husband earlier tonight and this gets pretty close

i just woke up from a dream where valentina and i were driving through the dirt roads past the green fields where i grew up. i told her about how i used to be on the cusp of cultural relevance but my own integrity and morality isolated me. i’ll never be able to decide if that was really something

idk what the hell im doing !!!!!

me and my lovely husband

bear force one

clean cat

dirty dog

the demographic information scruff has should be available to the public

We’re on the escalator. It’s a Ferris wheel babe. Oh.

i’m a very nice man. for real. i’m nice. i like being nice. i like helping strangers and making them feel like there is good in the world. but if you. god help me. cut in line.

Kurt Cobain made me gay

i cast a spell and the entire beef dip-attending population bursts into tears for one minute and fifteen seconds. it becomes the defining moment of the week. three couples end up getting married. the year after everyone makes jokes like “aww don’t cry.” they sell shirts that say CRYBEAR-BY.

i went out to a dance party last night one of those things where every guy is shirtless and i decided to just leave my clothes on and focus on my friends and on dancing. i actually had a great time.

Turkey friends.

not to be that guy but i miss my husband so bad he’s taking care of our neighbors’ turkeys

can’t eat right or work out all week

last thing i thought before i went to sleep was “god bill clinton looks like the crypt keeper” and woke up *positively obsessed* with this idea that if you kiss the actual crypt keeper you’d have to go lovecraft-style insane right? there’s no way you’d just smooch that guy and walk away unscathed

Building confidence is like learning to love an ugly baby.

ok but why is she giving katya

Where I’m taking you on our date.

don't talk to me till i've checked my

in a codependent relationship with my heated blanket

the good posters are on tumblr

my favorite part of posting sexual pics on my other acct here is that about five hours later my husband will just say some variation of the caption aloud to me in the room we are in completely apropos of nothing and it is so funny every single time.

okay real question: we all witnessed Katy Perry’s historic and career-ending flop let’s say you’re Katy. you lost all your money somehow (irrelevant for the question) and you have to get your career back. what do you do?

???????

i love to eat foam. cake. meringue. whipped cream. apple juice with gelatin and then you whip that up. tuesday night is foam night baby.

when y’all post ass pics I love that but sometimes u guys stand in this specific pose and i just always think of this pic

me and Ullr our sweet new doggie

her HUSBAND is DEAD and she just wants SEX

today i learned that if i sing softly, it will keep our cat Bodie from meowing and Abel will be able to take a nap. 😸🎶

more toying around with monomes iii. this time it’s grid as a giant macro x/y pad sort of thing #synthsky #monomegrid

become gayer than ever

she’s giving hellenistic

This is what happens when you drink too much and search “ugly frog statue” on Etsy

[making pizza rolls] instructions: heat them up me: yes instructions: let them cool me: no

Well, posting another photo of our Blue Merle, Border Collie, Ullr. Just because I think he looks so handsome!

my friend’s boyfriend keeps calling pregnancy “mpreg for women”

bought an electric blanket for the cold snap. nothing can hurt me under here

girl that’s not….?

if i just eat all the unhealthy snacks in my house now they won’t be here to temp me later

Chest day at the gym

This morning, some of our more adventurous hens left the henhouse and covered run to go out into the chicken yard. The windchill was minus 2. Our Speckled Sussex and Silver Laced Wyandotte hens seem especially hardy.

A visit to the farm from our very good friend, Rodrigo, who is currently residing in Arizona.