all I gotta do is do this 1,657.05 times successfully

someone venmo me $20 it’s for a good cause

I didn’t go to the gym but I made a healthy steak sandwich and cleaned like 80% of my apartment

would u go on a date with him

the responsible urge to clean my apartment and go to the gym at 10pm

my old school runescape wife wouldn’t be happy to hear about the penis picture you’ve just sent me

that one gay bar that will have a party theme for anything

sometimes I feel really bad for horse girls who live in the arctics it’s like you’ll never be her there :/

but does that mean that I eat ham only sometimes

when I was younger my brother told me it was illegal to throw out instruction manuals and why did I only find out in my 20s that’s not a thing

sometimes I will eat ham

hey im charli XCX and im giving away 1000 le creuset cookware sets

whenever im living in the moment its like wow this is the moment

my mom at the movie theater in 2008 after dragging her to see Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D starring Brendon Fraser:

oh your apartment has a Juliet Balcony? that’s so great you should have parties on there. you should make smoothies for the building

should we all jump off cliffs

unironic AI fagslop has hit my instagram algorithm composed of only shit posts because it is probably the worst video ever created and it broke its containment

connecting w an oomf on LinkedIn it’s like ew I kinda don’t wanna know u like that

sorry for posting about Work again it’s just that i am being Psychologically Tortured™️ daily and its hard to keep it bottled up

dude so show off your balls

I don’t know how you haven’t flaunted your genitals for bluesky yet

‘penis please’ guy with another banger

treat me with kindness and love tuesday

hey let’s go hide in a supply closet of a building we don’t work in and smell each others hair

Valentine’s Day coming up

bacon egg and cheese salt penis ketchup please

I’ve only been to cava once but I ordered a pita instead of a bowl and literally everyone spat in my face and called me an ugly whore so prob won’t go back for awhile

my 6th grade teacher gave me detention because I didn’t read the bridge to terabithia and nothing against the bridge to terabithia (love Josh Hutchison) but honestly it’s because I was internalizing my initial homophobia/self-hatred and I simply thought it was just a really gay book (I was 11)

ok embarrassing story time when I was a kid and “narnia the lion the witch and the wardrobe” came out I thought a wardrobe was like an evil monster for a few years because i hadn’t heard the word in actual practice and never saw the movie

they need to make cat trees but for human adults who live alone and also need a little extra stimulation like I’d love to climb up to a cave within my purview like that but nooo I guess I’ll just jerk off

my coworker in high school used to give us all cool nicknames in Spanish my friend was chewletta which basically means skinny and I was merrycone which is basically like just a happy go lucky guy

getting head at the shen yun show he’s sucking my falun dong

penis butter and nutella on cinnamon gram crackers midnight snack 😋

it’s so strange because I don’t really like hot dogs like at all but conversely and ironically I love sucking on big meaty cock

gay kissing live with question and answer session

gay kissing

she’s got a way she = me a way = balls plumper than you can ever imagine

do u think those prolapse guys can just dip those bad boys in like a bowl of vodka and then it’s like that’s cost effective also

dude who loves to drink his own piss and just calls it ‘his juice’

unlocking album with men online but not getting to meet up

just **** all over my ***** and then **** ******

we found love in a hopeless place (Indus Valley, 1900 BCE)

this was honestly so avoidable why did he do that 😭😭

I don’t want to get cremated when I die it sounds painful

they’re doing this to me next week

the dictionary defines rent as something a cutie patootie like me shouldn’t have to pay at least until I figure some stuff out

got 67 as a cost check number at the eagle the other night hahah omg life itself is kinda crumbling gradually before my very eyes

seeing a guy I used to hook up with 10 years ago at the Penn station Starbucks

found this large square labelless sauce in the sauce basket at the bodega what do u guys think it is

went to the Russian Turkish baths with the primary purpose of getting a good steam in and it’s funny how i was fully in the minority w that