forty two years on this earth and I just heard a British person say "barf" for the first time it rocks

so many people jumped up to push the red button as proof of their independent self-sufficient spirit and like none of them asked "hey how is there a machine that can kill everyone on earth if you don't vote for it"

lol the negligent company that manages my rental sent an uwu smol bean don't be mean to us email out, people are pissed at them

OH NO am actually moderately chill and deserving of love we are so fucked in the headspace of poison department my dudes

spent a lot of time the last few weeks torn between sadly wondering if someone will ever truly want to know me yet dissolving into my final form as a fundamentally inscrutable force of nature

do mice even really like cheese or did some swiss guy accidentally invent cheese holes and freaked way too hard out

ok u can stop now wicked dreams, go be more marshmallow kitties or when I'm a viking

rfk jr rapidly accelerating painting the globe with glyphosate is giving pestilence, he's probably the most on point horseman candidate

had a touch too much olive oil on top of the calzones and so the apartment got a bit acrid, air handling in here leaves something to be desired

the media rn

I'd like to work at a school because the whole point of talking to stupid people all day is to help make them less stupid, at least that's what schools used to be for

maybe karoline leavitt's child is named "shooter"

It sucks that I'm not in a great space to pivot to cowboy gunslinger gig work because I really don't want to be at work tomorrow or ever again

I wonder if we're going to do a week of "still with the strait of hormuz? did you not see what happened last weekend? oh so disappointing"

just heard someone pronounce colorado as "ciyu-lah-roddo" and what are we doin here

at this point it just doesn't seem like there'd be a secret chord that david played that pleased the lord, that shit would have been chopped up across a thousand tiktoks

every hoagie needs a panis

decided to stop calling people stupid and instead regard them with grave sadness as I whisper "they have succumbed to their incuriousity"

I'm the dumbest person alive [aspirational but threatening]

I only have one life to live and I am fighting til the death to get a little silly with it

uh oh i'm getting s̷̡̨̯̦̣̩̖͍͉̜͕̭̼̔̓ͭ̾ͯ̄i̩̠͔̺̝͕̜͌̎ͨͣ̒͟ļ̷̷̨̛ͮ̈̕͟͟͝͝lͥ҉̴͟͢͞͡y̛̼̼̼̮̳̞̫̪҉̵̧̕͠͝

Lucky really loves watching The Boys

it's upsetting to poop at da bar

I'm younger than I thought, I simply cannot make it through a nearly hour long documentary about trains

we should charge a $1/minute tax on business phone calls, $5/minute tax on domestic telemarketing calls and $10/minute for international telemarketing calls

Petro-cel doomers in shambles, the Dawn of the Solar Century rises and in its infinite benevolence bestows its blessings upon all who gather in adoration, singly or in great throngs, to harvest all the beauty and bounty of the life-giving light. We will live together unburdened beneath the sky.

i have witnessed a terrible violence

a lot of Internet people are so locked into getting into fights that they've forgotten the true beautiful purpose of interacting impersonally: recognizing cool stuff that happened so the person it happened around or to knows that strangers thought it was cool too and we can all feel nice about it

I'm a little concerned they're gonna do yet another attempt at making Star Trek sexy people shooting space guns at stuff and it just never hits the same as mega horniness severely restrained by rules lawyering

really cool to be a conflict-averse people-pleaser in a room full of conflict-motivated people-haters

when I came home today I said "Hello!" to Lucky in the little song he likes and he sang it back the same way cats rock

pissoir is classy but we need the other one too like a poobbitoir means business, it promises to finish that shit

I don't ever want to slip into horror all the way because I'm pretty sure it would unlock something deep and I'd make something that would define me and I might like it

an earlier, fragile version of me would delight an evolution to "I don't want to live" can easily be "I don't want to live with this shit and I will survive anything to spite the bastards before me" it's like a fist gripping my delicate heart with an extended middle finger

what if instead of taint we called it twouldntificould for whimsy

how do I spice up my resume I am how the french say "un employable"

in india, you have to buy clarified butter from a street vendor, because the ghee is stored in the stalls

Knuckle tattoos that say "PLAN AHEA"

lol I wrote a piece that gave facebook indigestion, we need to weaponize our shittiest prose poets

side note did you know it's joyful to eat the cold garlic naan you made a day or two ago straight out da fridge

every day I trip over another thing that reminds me there is no alternative to this place that we all live, there are no tidy countries but an arbitrary collection of stories we tell ourselves about the place we are, and we live blithely, ignorant of the wealth we burn to carry on in waste

plenty of words are worse than "moist" for example, whatever your name is

cheerwine sucks resurrect Cherry China Cola, Hansen's Energy Drink or my lost love Rockstar Cola That They Only Had At The Armenian Bodegas

tonight was the deep dish potato and onion butter chicken pizza, it's mostly cheese but the bottom crust has a nice crisp even if it can't hold itself up, it's a forker

well tomorrow is Wednesday I guess [FF7 battle music starts]

yeee double reverse rainbow Connections #1045 🟪🟦🟩🟨 🟪🟪🟪🟪 🟦🟦🟦🟦 🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟨🟨🟨🟨

fuck it I'm gonna start chaos patching our problems first: all land strictly residential doesn't cost property tax, but loses half the value every year tax isn't paid commercial property tax is pegged to 80% of rent or 10% of tenant profit with proof of 20% spent in maintenance from landlord

well we might not be actively moving to solve problems like housing, transportation, employment, and food but good news everyone is mad about any suggestion to do so

lucky saved a fat dank shit right for before bedtime probably in protest for not getting a wet food tonight but he's been going off them recently and idk what the play is here other than, for now, gagging

it's getting harder to crack open decent conversations with my family because it seems everyone is hiding behind value confirmation shorthand my paranoia says there's a side channel about me but isn't that what I'm doing here