"We owe conspiracy theorists a huge apology" No we fucking don't. They were talking about a secret conspiracy of gay trans Jewish lizard people. The Epstein files uncovered a conspiracy of rich, straight, white, right-wing Christian men, which these motherfuckers never even considered.

retweet if single

we broke up lol

pandora's faggot

i lije tuis guy so much I can't wait to get uim prengant

you cant trust me with power but you should do it anyways

life is short cannibalise oomf

babe r u ok? i am stabbing you with a big knife

no don't hate yourself that's transphobic

me when i can feel my social battery draining & i start thinking about my bed & sweatpants

Oh....my penis is big....

When people talk so loud in the morning:

MY HOMOSEXUAL SON SMOKES TYLENOL TO GET AUTISM "TWINK FUEL"??? SIN!!!!

preventing autism is just another ploy by big car to prevent high speed rail infrastructure in the US

king..

just got called selfish and mean and rude yall already KNOW how the night going 🔥🔥‼️‼️🗣️🗣️

hey can i borrow one of your redeeming qualities?

Children yearn for microplastics and attention deficit disorder so I give them water bottle caps and ipads

ME AND THAT BOY ARE DU-DU-DONE!!!!!!

got dumped (🩷)

Do you think unbending Clippy until he was a long piece of metal would be painful for him. Or do you think it would cause him to feel a great sense of relief

who wants to be the chocolate hello panda to my strawberry hello panda?

Hello beautiful little freak. I love you, my beautiful little freak.

yeah i may be GAY... but i'm also STUPID

ugh gonna try to start signing off on posts again btw likee this -> (🩷) or [🪦] or something

puppygirl barking call that autism speaks (🩷)

It's just a sports ban. It's just a bathroom ban. It's just a healthcare for kids ban. It's just a military service ban. It's just a federal jobs ban. It's just a university housing ban. It's just a passport & visa ban. It's just one Constitutional right. It's just your status as free citizens.

how to stop thinking about him always it's been like 2 weeks since we talked and I've not been more miserable in forever

might be seeing hadestown in November this is so cool but why are accessible seats so limited :(

planning a D&D campaign is so fun but so draining when you only have new players and everything has to be so simple

This is your reminder to be weird in public

“get his ass” is so hilarious, it’s like the modern version of “seize him”

up late with my demons might cuddle might kiss em

okay chat I'm so hungry my stomach hurts do I have sleep for dinner or get dressed just to go eat and then come back to bed

everyone go look at our awesome carrd. btw. g0r3syss.carrd.co

I'm not gay but my boyfriend is this is so cool I didn't know they made a guy that did tgat

being a system and using proxy emojis will have you with the stupidest recent emojis dawg who gaf about 🪡 who has ever used 💠 what even is that

how i feel when he comes online