Hello beautiful little freak. I love you, my beautiful little freak.

These fuckers are UGLY. U G L Y

Me when it rains

Biodiversity is bad, actually. I think there should be one big bug that rules everything.

Stop fucking squirming. I am feeding you oats.

I wouldn't trust a guy with the name 'wyrmtongue', but that's just me. Maybe I'm just built different. But I wouldn't make my most trusted advisor a guy called 'wyrmtongue'

Sometimes feelings really aren't that valid. Sometimes you're just being a little asshole.

Children yearn for microplastics and attention deficit disorder so I give them water bottle caps and ipads

Hey snowflakes. I ate a fork. Your move.

Silksong releasing on my birthday because I’m their favorite guy

The fact that Silksong took 7 years to make merely because they were vibing out and having fun being creative is the best reason I could have imagined it being.

If you use ChatGPT for anything at all just know, I have bested you. You have been bested by my superior mind.

Thank you for almost but not actually 20k followers. Announcing this will definitely yield more followers, and not incur a mass unfollowing spree

KIRBY AIR RIDERS ASKS THE AGE OLD QUESTION! WHAT IF MARIO KART FUCKED

What if instead of calling it piano, we called it... you know...

Uhmm 1984 called, they want their FREE SPEECH back

We have to stop making people. I am losing track of them all

Stiing

Foubd my login

Men when they see toilets : I refuse to pee my piss into this big open hole part. Hmmm.. The floor will do me nicely.

I kill feral beasts at Walmart for money

Just found out ADHD people can’t rotate a cube in their head because they get too distracted by birds and squirrels

I thought George Orwell was just kiddin’ around :(

Hello bisexual people. Watch out for falling spike traps in the next room.

This is me if you were a horse: “Hello little guy” *feeds you the gay carrots 🥕 specifically for gay horses*

There are various elements contributing to my failure

Sonder tattooed across my forehead

Yeah i heard its serum, but two

Stop fucking squirming. I am feeding you oats.

Biodiversity is bad, actually. I think there should be one big bug that rules everything.

Tariffs have made access to goods more expensive. Even my top guys whom I pay $360,000 a year for didn’t foresee this happening

Hey welcome to the burger store, what can I get for you? No, we don’t sell burgers here, you WOKE freak, WOKE freak, you WOKE freak. You WOKE freak.

All of my crimes will be tallied up like a lottery machine winning the jackpot as I stand in front of the gates of heaven

Various countries have deemed the common missile "poor for infrastructure" - so in order to prove them wrong, I have launched one million missiles at all of their infrastructure, destroying it immediately

What if i shot one million missiles at you and when you got back up, i lobbed another million missiles at you? And then when you stood back up again, one million more missiles at you.

Help, I bought a karaoke machine but it only has bo burnam on it. Can I legally euthanize machines?

Who could have assumed the innocuous hollowed-out wooden horse would have a bunch of fucking Achaeans in it?? Fuck off with this shit. Troy forever.

Name your firstborn son Ion Cannon

Another one because fuck it, I can.

little effect

I want to hunt elon through a forest

In this fragile world we live in, I am pukicho

Phaseplant fun

Evil thoughts and Evil prayers to you

“I respectfully disagree” no the fuck you don’t. You want to kill me, and I want to kill you

Through the teachings of God and the Bible I have learned Lightning. I have learned lightning fucking bolt.

We must become evil woke

One billion warriors could not stop me. What makes you think you can?

Post so bad u gotta delete it twice 😞

Hello sexual freaks, I hope you remember that God is going to fucking blast you to death with powerful lightning. Peace and love.