i'm so tired and i need to uber but also i do Not need to be driving while tired right now lol

$99. gabe newell i will kill myself in front of you and change the trajectory of your life forever

the urge to ask for $20

masc4electricchair

top that likes his butthole played with, fingered, ate, etc. like just take a dick you coward!

i am begging the owners of strictly political accounts to go outside and touch grass for FIVE MINUTES

he literally just wants a hug bro...

@support.bsky.team image cropping feature is broken, doesn't save any edits i do. why you idiots won't just use the system photo picker/editor is beyond me

8

DON'T WORRY GROG

i'm not that worried about how popular i am on here because i'm more concerned about meaningful connections over bigger numbers but go off i guess!

the urge to smoke with oomf and maybe slip a finger in his butt idk

i love this cat with all of my heart but I Swear To God If This Cat Pees In A Location Other Than His Litter Box One More Fucking Time

sad and/or stressed

me: eating lunch outside the dog, smelling it in the wind: [barking for it] me: [farts into the breeze] enjoy that! the dog: [goes silent]

once, and i choose to believe it was a glitch in the system because girl...

got the carousel update, @jay.bsky.team resign now 💔

A needle in a SLAY stack yas mama gawd okurrrrrr

how you gonna make four white people look blindingly white

he keeps smacking me with his sock and it sucks because i can't blame him at ALL

off-leash dog people eat shit challenge

plucking out my butthole hairs one by one like "he loves me, he loves me not..."

it's just me and figaro against the world

ah yes the 2 am load in the mouth

when he puts it in your mouth and you immediately get hard... that's love

reunited with his cat my heart is whole again

cashapp sending me advertisements as notifications instead of letting me know internet men paid me for being pretty i'll kms

Lmao when a staff member subscribes to a block list made by a troll account and ends up blocking 310,700+ users, all because the majority of the users of bluesky hold the rational opinion that ai is total shit and shouldn't be used for any reason. Ai is ruining the site, and the world. Fuck ai.

not kidding when i say i consider the devs of this site blocking me bc i hate AI a literal badge of honor

I MISS MY MAN (and his cat)

actually despise these fake gaza bot accounts, like out of all ways to scam people you're gonna abuse the fact that people are dying in a war? okayyyy have fun in hell

clocking in for my shift at the play fallout 4 factory

gonna need oomf to come and sit on my face it's urgent

goodnight

i just find it funny how you two share the same name... you ain't him!

His wife must be so excited he’ll be around to spend more time with her 😁😁😁

depends on if I need to floss

psychiatrist: feeling any anxiety lately? me: nope! also me, an hour before the appointment even started:

Wanted to show you this post in English because it’s so good and we truly are a global village

"hottest man alive" and it's hasan deepthroating another microphone like no one cares

GOOD MORNING WORLD I HOPE YOU HAVE A NICE DAY

"minor" why are you on my discover feed

what a stupid, hateful little bitch oh my god

my gay ass realizing there's multiple mining helmet colors in this game and being particularly upset i don't have the pink one

my savings account:

hole so tight it emits a sound that only dogs can hear

fart so bad i had to open the window in shame

decided to try xcode's built-in "ask chatgpt to fix something" feature (running locally on my macbook, fuck data centers) it took five whole minutes to fix two errors... while introducing five more... i think i'll continue to ignore it lmao