thinking about how terrified i was trying subnautica VR, meanwhile boyfie threw the headset on and went straight to the crash site in my seamoth like "where's the scary shit at"

i just wanna eat some ass and drive my car but he's 50 miles away and i wrecked it so

dude at the pharmacy legitimately asked "do they make aspirin anymore?" bitch what CENTURY are you from

left my medications with the boywife an hour away lol

man

beer in da system bc fuck it

boyfie mad that i'm feral over someone else's butthole... i'm a MAN what do you EXPECT

living like larr- er, i mean iggy

gotta shit but the house is cold, should i move the space heater in the bathroom with me or what

i have eyebrows added to my animal crossing character and idk if mine looks uncanny or the rest of you look cursed but i think the brows are necessary

My Velcro kitty.

the jake urge to get a low sleep score for a week straight 🤪

a gay baby is born every time i cut off a tesla

read the email from cashapp as "we've refunded your privacy bonus" for some reason and i was like "well at least they're admitting it now"

I was telling one of my kids that it was physically impossible for an ad to play between songs on any of the records I own, and they asked "and you only have to pay for it once?" and you could see how strange that seemed. You cannot overstate how many basic rules of media consumption have changed.

starting a synchronous task within an asynchronous function, waiting for it to return then returning from the async function... shouldn't be this confusing to implement but i'm having a Bad Time™ y'all

Bluesky users: give us media in DMs Bluesky: update! you can now share skeets to Microsoft Excel

alright bsky made me mad at developers i'm gonna channel that frustration into making an app with actual good features

it's one thing to give the bluesky devs grace for only having so much manpower... it's another thing when they keep using that manpower to add features literally no one asked for

this cat always by my side in the mornings... happy to have a buddy

good morning

the jake urge to get told to shut up

highkey tired of always having to be the driver lmao

cute guy at the liquor store lowkey flirting with my man and i... why do we both kinda wanna sniff his pits

love these boys

good morning ☀️

forgot to send my new insurance info to my psychiatrist until two hours before my appointment, do you think they love me?

my little buddy the whole evening

twins

i love vibing with employees. your system being stupid logging you in? take your time homie let's hate on technology together

something in this house smells like shit from a butt and i promise you it isn't me

manifesting the start of something big tomorrow (programming-related)

i was busy:

*in the tune of Born This Way* Don’t be a bore just be a whore Don’t be a bore just be a whore Don’t be a bore just be a whore

in the most positive way possible: you're an idiot

thinkin bout boys

Loooove soup

Stickers you can immediately hear.

stretching every 10 minutes

horny on a tuesday

power's out and everyone's now on the same cellular networks so the data's slow. do i... go outside...?

the twink with the puppet on victorious:

Bluesky accounts:

I MISS MY CAT

just spent an hour moving a bunch of virtual scenery pieces around who want me

beard trim btw