This is me watching new developments pretty much every day now.

The inventor of the ballet skirt was struggling for a name for his invention. Finally he put tu and tu together.

Absolute prick on the front row of my early gig tonight. Eventually got thrown out for harassing a woman next to him. Made the whole gig difficult. Reminds me of a great @marcellucont.bsky.social joke which goes something like: “a gig is like a fine meal, it just needs one dick in it to ruin it”

Sure, dinner at a nice restaurant is great, but reservations at the void to scream together, now that’s an act of service right there

Jim Davis thinks we’re all stupid. Garfield first appeared in 1978. The normal lifespan of a cat is 13-20 years. He’s replaced Garfield, probably multiple times.

I know I’ve hit my solo couch beer quotient when I start watching Air perform La Femme D’argent live on Canal+ on YouTube at 180 decibels. Still: what a great bunch of lads (or garçons) to be fair.

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge

This Cybertruck did not crash. It made a heartfelt and perhaps ill-advised gesture that, in the moment, might have been misinterpreted as a crash, but we should not rush to judgement.

The halibut I’m cooking today has apparently been "boned with care by the fishmonger" I suppose those night shifts at Morrisons can get quite lonely.

The fascists are ready to unleash even more violence at street level than we’ve already seen, and that’s a fact. We’ve seen the riots in the UK and the surge in aggression in AfD strongholds in Germany. This isn’t going to be solved by debating them on talk shows. Block their funds, their protests.

“WHY WOULD ANYONE LOOK INSIDE AN ALIEN EGG??” this is why:

OK I'm sorry to hear that Americans can't do the TikTok any more, so in the spirit of international solidarity maybe the simplest thing would be for me to just watch all the videos and then post descriptions of them here, yes I think that would be very helpful. OK here goes

Okay I've figured out what my alt right grift would be: cooking bacon without a shirt on is super cool and makes you tougher by exposing your torso to "Microburns" that stimulate the nervous system. It's got everything. Consumption of meat, medical bullshit babble, ample opportunity for merchandise

What is a “Kid Rock”?

I can’t help but think that the attractive young women who are sending me private messages asking me “how I’m doing today” may not really be all that interested in the wellbeing of a broken, middle-aged man with thumbs that click in cold weather and an inability to exit a beanbag elegantly.

C4 news are doing one of those fun things they do of a Friday when the boss is clearly gone off early for the w/end (bit like when work used to let you drink cans from the communal fridge before a bank holiday). Today’s it Rory Kinnear - I’m reminded he was by far the best thing in The Diplomat.

Masterchef The Professionals isn’t a great advert for the catering industry. It just reinforces the perception of professional chefs as both sleep & vitamin deprived. Now that I think of it, they really just look like people from the 1980s before fake tan became a thing but with added sleeve tattoos

3:0. Perfect. Now we have them.

2:0 England. Ireland have them exactly where they want them…

1:0 to England. Sleeper Agent “Kane” has scored a penalty for England. England lulled into a false sense of security… the trap has been set…

Also: I think that’s the first time I’ve posted on either here or Leon’s place. But this place seems friendlier so I’m less inclined to lurk.

0:0 Eng-Ireland at 1/2time. Irl. Denied 2 pens but ref obviously bought by Crown. Agents Codename “Bellingham” & “Kane” are making a difference. A hard Eng. team to dislike and a Lab Govt makes UK far more tolerable than of late. Anyway: loins girded for inevitable 3:0 2nd 1/2. #perfidiousAlbion