Momentary lull in the conversation at a dinner party: “You know, I read recently that Fergie the Platypus loves hanging out with the Sunshine Bay Crew.”

Running list of people the Beastie Boys would have eventually name checked had it not been for MCA’s untimely passing: Timothée Chalamet Rick Brunson The Bagel Boss Brian Scalabrine Honey Boo Boo John Harbaugh Ken Bone

Just ollied over a case of Jardience on my skateboard

He’s 100% right. If I were him, I would demand a trade to the Philadelphia Eagles tonight.

Calling it now: by the end of the summer, “the he-man” will rival “the Rachel” for most iconic on-screen hairdo.

Watching a jeopardy that was on our DVR and one clue was about Elmer Fudd and the guy who got it right said “Who is Fudd?”

Happy bday to the 🐐

Not wading into the broader Bluesky discourse except to say that the only thing I miss from the other site is the account that would only post videos of Jack Nicholson saying "we all hung out at a coffee shop called poopies up on the strip"

Pork roll, egg and cheese on a Kaiser bun for lunch

We seem to be living through the Golden Age of Wal-Mart fart prank videos.

We seem to be living through the golden age of out-of-touch millionaires being booed during commencement speeches.

Grogu woke me up to take him out at 5 am so he could have diarrhea between two parked cars. Again

I got really into Grateful Dead during covid which admittedly is bad, but not as bad as what I could have gotten into (vaccine denialism, my forever resting place, etc.)

I had a dream last night that a baboon started attacking people at a birthday party in my backyard and I had to stab it with a cake knife. I hope everyone has a relaxing Sunday.

It’s important to remember this.

Landscaping 101: Is it a rock? No: Run it over with the lawnmower. Yes: Throw it in your neighbor’s yard.

Look, you can make your little jokes but Pantoliano Syndrome is no laughing matter.

Oh, wow. The rumors were true.

Hearing rumors that Dan Akroyd is set to publish his debut novel ‘Soulhider’ this October…

“Good luck with your blood transfusion” - something I just heard while picking up a pizza for dinner

I’d like to see a Jeopardy week for Biker Sluts. My sincere apologies if that’s an outdated term, but I believe that community should have their turn at Jeopardy

Watching the British version of the Impractical Jokers, Impractical Joukers

“I’d like to solve…ENLARGED TO SHOW TEXTURE!”

Proud to announce I have been named to the Board of Directors of the I-HUOA (In-Home Urinal Owners of America.)

Checking the Phillies score

Three years in, how are we feeling about the 2023 Eagles draft class?

God. Country. PT Cruiser.

Seeing a PT Cruiser in public feels like God winking at you

SIGNAL BOOST To all the haters….. Find a new slant. In HELL

I cannot wait to listen to the next Bill Simmons podcast

Thanks to everyone online for being so snarky about the Andy Serkis Animal Farm movie. Because of your “quips” and “jabs”, the project I’ve been working on is now in turnaround (Sean Astin adaptation of “The Road to Wigan Pier”)

Me, if I had the opportunity to meet the Three Stooges:

“Improved mayonnaise”

CELEBRATING FRIDAY WITH NANCY & SLUGGO

Lemon-pilled

I never know what to say at the deli counter when they show me the slice and ask me if it’s good or not. What makes you think I’m the fucking expert? (Aside from my overall appearance and bearing)

Tired: as soon as we buy our children clothing, they destroy it with dirt and food stains Wired: not only is detergent getting weaker, but clothing companies are using materials that are easier to permanently stain so you have to buy more clothes

Checking in on the Phillies after putting the kids to bed

Was just listening to an aggregated clip from a sports radio station on YouTube and got a suggested ad for men’s hair dye. Devastating.

Happened again. Was dragging absolute ass and he played “Candy’s Room.” Highs in the 70s on XPN is the effing best.

Was in the house for the Phils. Sorry I’m a mush. But Andrew Painter gassed up on Excedrin was dealing, man.

modern methods pail in comparison

WALTER CRONKITE (gravely):

Getting in front of this now: a soon to be released video shows me standing too close to the king’s guard and one of the king’s horses bites me on my right breast. In my anger, I go on to say (yell, really) a few deeply hurtful things about the royal family. I am very sorry for my behavior.

Bob coming through