Look I hate the guy too, but this is a real photo

Really wanted him on the Bulls but now that he went somewhere else he's actually bad and will probably be the worst coach of all time

He doesn't sound like him at all but he still has the strongest Jerry Lundegaard energy I've ever seen in a real person

Teens have the darndest sperm

Hahaha. This guy gets a rash if you say Christmas. This guy wears a mask to the Bad Bunny concert. When this guy's cold, he sets the thermostat to "pronouns" 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

I guess I’m a little surprised that Boygenius would be the last band not to back out of Freedom 250

The president Trump has invited me to Freedom 250 to play my famous “wild-man” style rock

Adam Silver will be zipping around the court tonight in a golf cart looking for signs of tanking

Very cool, I hope this season is on North Sentinel

I guess my follow up question here would be "wait who sings for Milli Vanilli?"

This pass is sick. Also, we'll never see a teammate hair combo like this ever again (balding-afro / pageboy cut)

I’d like to see a fast food company with the guts to develop a meal deal that requires the highest level of military clearance to obtain

Bismack Biyombo is checking in which can only mean one thing: 20-0 Spurs run to win the game

Just going on record to say I was calling tonight’s Game 5 “pivotal” before anyone else was

If I’m Jaxson Dart’s agent I’m having him introduce Biden at something - fast.

Floating some of my poetry and PLEASE be kind: Blades! The thing a cow fears. People who cut will no. There is nothing that can’t be cut, if the blade is sharp enough.

There’s gonna be an actor named Johnny Logan Michael Green and it pisses me off. No one is going to stop it

Seeing Dennis Quaid as you’ve never seen him before in The Intruder on May 9th, 2019

Getting a lot of texts and emails worried that Byron Allen's surname is too generic to join Carson, Leno, Letterman, etc. as a mononymous giant of late night television. It's not. In 6 months, every person on the planet will know exactly who you mean when you say "Allen"

The day is finally here. The comics...are unleashed.

Before now I’ve only seen this on Reddit so I was a little skeptical but…what the fuck is going on

Beating the previous record set by the ‘Is This Thing On’ drone show

Dundon is offering $50k annually but that doesn’t include tips

I know the final Late Show guests are supposed to be a big secret, but I can confirm they are actress Jordana Brewster, olympian Ryan Lochte, and musical guest Vonda Shepard. Sorry if that spoils anything, but should be a solid show

I feel like I'm the only one in the building who compliments our vending machine guy's choices. When he restocks I like to pat him on the shoulder and say "those were a hit, weren't they?"

Can’t tell you how old I feel seeing David Caruso’s son going wild in the playoffs 😵‍💫

Wemby should be allowed to smoke cigarettes during games

I genuinely believe the series should be called after that Castle dunk. OKC should not be given the opportunity to respond

Can't think of a funnier group of guys!

Easy to see why the Knicks are so out of it with Byron Allen sitting courtside. Players keep stopping and asking what changes we can expect for the new and improved Comics Unleashed

Mitchell Robinson shoots free throws the same way my wife attempts to “gently” toss me the remote on the couch

Cavs have the most boring unis in the league. Time to bring these colors back

Even the most casual of fans know it’s OKC and San Antonio’s league for the foreseeable future which will make ESPN’s ad nauseam coverage of LeBron joining the Warriors that much funnier

First Take’s reactions to Game 1 tomorrow morning: - Are overtimes bad actually? - Which team would benefit more from LeBron joining next year? - What if the Spurs players were on the Lakers?

I swear Reggie Miller just said “now we’re gonna see what these young and Spurs are made about”

This might be controversial but I think picking Wemby, Castle, Harper and Bryant in a 3 year span is some pretty good drafting

Caruso is a stud and it will always be funny that the Lakers let him walk to keep Talen Horton-Tucker

Just put the finishing touches on my big college commencement speech this weekend titled “A Promise of Hope: Embracing The Awesome Power of A.I.” Thanks to AI I also knew where to put all my applause breaks ;-)

They should do this for the conference finals

I think because he’s a 2 guard people mistakenly want Ant to be a killer like MJ or Kobe. Ant is a rascal. Rascals, while able to mimic killers in short spells, will ultimately revert to their inherent rascal ways. It is their natures and always will be. #sportsanalysis

I am growing fonder of the Pistons every round

I don’t usually get into stats but it appears Donovan Mitchell has overtaken Kyle Lowry as the most caked up player in the league

(average musician/band IG post) I have some exciting news to share… [show more] (6 paragraphs about traveling and rediscovering oneself in a constantly changing world. No discernible “news” anywhere to be found)

In Milwaukee for Tom Morello tonight and had I not checked my ticket and seen a small “postponed” marker, I wouldn’t have known he’s ditched his solo tour to join Springsteen’s. No emails, nothing. I am fully conservative now, nobody should get healthcare or rights but me because of this

Yes, the Cavs should send a key player to the Lakers in a sign-and-trade rather than just signing him as a UFA

Definitely what I would have thought. I’d be like that building must be Blue for Drake

I swear to god if Kash Patel makes snorkeling through Pearl Harbor wreckage weird…

Pittsburgh fans bitching about the age gap but Frankie was a certified zoo cancer. Little Joe has a good 6 years left and is close with Mr. Crumbs who's a UFA next summer. Just sayin

I’d like to see a Jeopardy week for Biker Sluts. My sincere apologies if that’s an outdated term, but I believe that community should have their turn at Jeopardy

Fucking dying at the transition where it looks like he's going to be interviewing someone in the studio but it's just him talking by himself some more