“Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain.” —Arthur Weasley

GIVEAWAY! Dead Weight is coming out next week and to celebrate I'm giving away two copies that have been personally bitten by Uggi and will be personally signed by me and shipped to the winners wherever they live! To enter just like and share this post and I'll select the winners on May 26th!

Iris appreciation post

If you see one live show this year, make it Lucy Dacus. Holy fuck.

Proust Baking Company Recalls Thousands of Madeleines

Slightly increase a band: Geysers of Wayne

My son’s wardrobe is so peak, even his socks are unmatched.

Mothers, delivering since before the dawn of civilization.

“Are you a robot?” is such a captcha question.

Comb his eyebrows wrong and my dog looks like an old-timey villain 🤨

Always go chasing waterfalls 💚

Give the mom in your life what she wants: more LEGO! www.oregonlive.com/portland/202...

Spirit Halloween has the chance to do the funniest thing.

Avocado Tooth Extraction

The Earth laughs in flowers Ralph Waldo Emerson

I hate hollowed grounds, they make the worst coffee.

First iris

It’s Independent Bookstore Day today! Please visit your favorite indie store and enjoy the book-filled, book-loving vibes. But if you can’t do that, consider getting something you’ve wanted to read at Bookshop.org. They support indie shops. Everyone wins! It’s cool when that can happen.

Happy Earth Day. As much as humans endeavor to ruin the experience, I still love it here ❤️ 🌍 ❤️ 🌏 ❤️ 🌎

The Onion has successfully bought InfoWars. Happy 4/20. 😂

More of this please 🙏🏻

do you ever wake up at 3am and think "shit that's a good idea, I better write that down so I can share it later on"

Post the best picture you have ever taken of your pet (if you feel like it):

I've never wanted something as bad as I want Usha Vance to go skydiving.🪂

CaffGPT could not be reached for comment.

One of the ways news media often fail us is by giving us the microscopic rather than the telescopic view. Everything I mention in this essay is well-documented, but the dots are mostly not connected to make visible this death by a thousand cuts our country is undergoing.

My 7yo practicing comedy: You can’t spell allergies without “jeez!” 👏🏼

I love trees but they are killing me right now 🤧

The other way a whole civilization dies is by committing war crimes

Springtime in Oregon! Spotted these trillium and Erythronium (fawn lily) on a hike yesterday.

Easter cake 🥕

Easter sunset 🎨 ☁️

Neighborhood cat came in through our kitty door last night, that’s trespawsing!

The neighborhood cats watching me prep my garden bed for planting.

♫ psycho killer, cat cassette ♫

We’ve advanced so much that gear shifts are fidgets now 😆

The world can definitely feel ‘too much with us’ but it is nonetheless Opening Day (or evening) and I always like to quote the great title of a Tom Boswell book of his essays on baseball: Why Time Begins on Opening Day.

Vitamin beach 🌊☺️

Barley might be sleepy but his ear is ready to party 🐶 💤 🎉

When you think you're a liberator of your people and you're also sexually abusing women and girls from among those people you're demonstrating that you have trouble recognizing them as people. (And that is way too common.)

Once again I’m worried about the Salesforce Authenticator two-word phrases sounding oddly specific.

CAESAR The ides of March are come. SOOTHSAYER Ay, Caesar; but not gone.

Pi Day schmiday, I’m making a tart.

Get to know a perennial! Meet hellebore, who is not, as the name suggests, hella boring 😝 #perennials #plantnerd

Who’s that Pokémon?

Now that we’ve all dutifully advanced our clocks, can we talk about changing some other things?

Happy International Women's Day to the original International Woman

┏┓ ┃┃╱╲ Yn ┃╱╱╲╲ thys ╱╱╭╮╲╲hous ▔▏┗┛▕▔ we ╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲ fuckinge LOVE Opera & Ballet ╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲ ▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔