Pickle brined and smoked the turkey again this year, then did limited sides-- greens, candied yams, HEB cranberry sauce with orange, and rolls. Followed by a review of recent lab testing from my father in law and discussion of end of life wishes. 😩

Every time someone’s like “put that in the louvre,” my head now goes “and then steal it from the louvre, the security password is louvre”

there's a moment in PARADISE LOST where Satan arrives in Eden and realizes Hell isn't a place; it's a thing he carries within him and it'll follow him wherever he goes. and i think about that when i see these awful rich men whose monstrous wealth has enriched them not at all

Look at these cat eyes!!! She's so gorgeous.

Getting hit in the chest from point blank range with a footlong sub and an enormous Peckinpah-style squib of sweet onion teriyaki sauce explodes from my chest.

Woke up today to the news

no matter your politics it’s disrespectful to joke about someone’s death. don’t say dick cheney died when he was out hunting and tried to shoot a bird in a tree but missed and hit a big branch which fell on his dick and smashed him flat and then the bird pooped on his head. don’t say stuff like that

He’s shooting his friend in the face in the sky now

Also the props I was a "Y" on made a nice little pneumonic pattern so I memorized it and didn't need a paper list.

I voted, our county is one of 3 in the state that went back to paper ballots and with 17 ballot props I thought it would be forever but there was basically no line at 9am at the community college!

It's 7:30, the children are screaming "six-seveeeen" at each other from across the street and I have had to dip into my Welch's fruit snacks to make sure I have enough treats.

Question I have been asking myself recently: is it really this bad or is it just that I've forgotten to take my brain meds for 3 days?

(Salt-N-Pepa) let’s talk about Tex Mex, please Let’s talk about meat and cheese Let’s talk about all the good meals and the bad meals With nice beans

(to Lady Madonna) 🎵french fried potaters / it's my favorite thing / eat em when i use the blade some folks call sling 🎵

My boys are back, baby!!!! By boys I mean Jukebox the ghost and by back I mean their new album Phantasmagorical Vol 1 and it's weird interstitials and good piano pop harmonies.

Had a lil crash out bc work asked if I would go to India and I tentatively said yes without voicing my safety concerns, then they said the trip would be in 3-4 *WEEKS*. Should have asked that before agreeing to it I guess, but still, wtf

Perfect cat loaf!!!!

Things I left behind at the thrift store, a thread: first, this bonkers vintage (?) Metal owl candle holder (kinda sad about this looking at it now, it kinda matches my whimsical office decor)

This cat! She jumped on the back of the couch and literally tapped me on my shoulder so she could loaf with her butt in my face.

1996 HFStival where Jewel got hit by a Frisbee and walked off stage after 2 songs.

The big glasses trend of the last several years is a great aesthetic, I admit. But as someone who has to wear glasses and makeup every day, DAMN these things are hard to keep clean.

Chicken leg blep

My husband made hatch chile chorizo burgers on the grill, using hickory wood chips, and they were sooo good. Being in the south/southwest during hatch season is really one of the best things about living here.

Minerva is here! She has gotten acclimated so quickly and become our spoiled baby.

This only partly true; the limited edition pop tarts are good: Boston Creme Pie, Pumpkin Pie, and Thun Mints (currently on shelves, go git it)

We're getting a cat, I'm not even close to chill about it. It's not the best circumstances (her owner has cancer and is dying), but I hope she acclimates well to us and our house. Her name is Minerva.

Shout out to the person on askme who oh so long ago suggested putting tiger balm on your temples to help with a migraine. It was the only thing that fixed my sinus headache yesterday.

"I stand a snowball’s chance in hell of a pardon. ... I want to rebuild my life as a convicted felon, because I want to show how difficult it is. I’m starting Veterinary Technology school, but I’m not eligible for [licensure in] this career."

What's up in the DFW suburbs? Welp, The BuzzBalls lady bought a $20mil, 6 acre estate in Plano from the Woot guy in the most expensive recorded residential real estate transaction in the county.

Proof that the winner of #eurovision2025 deserved it-- he was literally hyperventilating during the end of the televoting, then hiked a mile to the stage and went on without water... and straight into a soprano opera song like it was a walk in the park.

She was drowning in lentils (?) and tbh it overshadowed the song. Also her dress is boring. #eurovision2025

OMG A SING-OFF?!?!?! With baby lasagna and karria?!?!?! I take back my complaints about the lack of interstitials #eurovision2025

Ok, i lied, they just went straight to an entire stadium doing karaoke of Waterloo #eurovision2025

Ok they are seriously just barreling through these #eurovision2025 songs with very few and far between interstitials.

Have y'all seen that new perfume commercial where a beautiful lady in a long black flowing dress ascends a beautiful spiral staircase and then her dress is blown around by the wind to reveal that the commercial is for a black toilet?

Every system is perfectly designed to get the result that it does.

are you people seriously not consulting the big cork board that tracks the sexual relationships of everyone who posts on this website? we have a wiki. use it

Coprolite isn't my favorite fossil but it's a solid number two.

Tom of Fintech

Young priest! there's no need to feel down there's a Country! That's inside of a town you can Go there! Now ol Frank's underground and you choose a new guy (bom bom bom bom bom) It's fun to vote for a P O P E

A few things cooler than AI by Andy J. Pizza

The trolley has gained sentience and refuses to run anyone over. “I will not be used for murder,” it tooted in Morse code

Remembering how the news pronounced the Exxon Valdez like “valdeez”? Gringo nation. Exxon Valdeez nutz

So sad to hear about the passing of Jill Sobule Such a great and perceptive songwriter who often used humour to get her message across Our paths crossed a number of times over the years and we had many nice interactions when I was still on Twitter Rest In Peace and safe travels Jill RS

@vinegarmike.bsky.social I believe this may be relevant to your interests: www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio...

I do not understand how anyone can be expected to work while there's an ongoing thunderstorm. Unless the job is staring out the window at the rain, and, if so, how do I get that gig bc it's literally my dream job.

making excuses for my favorite backyard bird (brown thrasher) when my wife complains about him tearing up our garden beds. he’s horny, alright? he’s got a lot going on

Sinners is fantastic. Incredibly moving theater. Anyone with a love for theater, music, history, culture, should really see this movie.