“official elf the movie branded maple syrup flavored buzzballs aren’t real, they can’t hurt you” total wine & spirits:

CDC website altered at Robert F. Kennedy's behest to reflect his belief that "everything before 9/11 is the dataset and everything after is the simulation"

Who called it "Mufasa: The Lion King" and not "Dude Where's My Scar"???

Pixar's Star Wars: Heir to the Empire

I'm on @doughboys.bsky.social today with @fredcstresing.bsky.social and @megcasey.bsky.social where we all got one upped by Meg on the NYCC panel. I think Wiger and Mitch are two of the funniest people on this dumbass Earth, so it's an honor.

AOC presents Cannonball Run Legacy.

I wonder how much competition is for that #1 spot

Turkey setup ready to go. Never done one like this before but it's gonna save so much fridge space not having to thaw it out.

Two absolute legends going head to head, who's your money on?

If you buy this you aren't being taxed enough

(Harris Wittels voice) People used to say "pics or it didnt happen" but with AI these days its more like "pics AND it didnt happen"

Who wore it better?

"Its like poetry, it rhymes" is by far my most 'lives in my head rent free' phrase

James Cameron: "We Bought A Zoo$" Movie exec: "a zeus?"

nostalgia is a scam invented by big new to sell more old

A gif that pops up when i type my name

Hopefully Gad uses this to fund his 2028 run for president

there are 4 types of guys online. no exceptions.

Update, my daughter named him Alfred the Alien and found him a bed to call his own

Look, yes im a grown man but this guy had to come home from the store w me

Nobody worse at talking about wrestling than a retired wrestler

In comics this is called Alan Moore / Frank Miller syndrome

She flare on my cloud til i break the internet

BREAKING: We’re getting six (!) edible mascots at this year’s @poptartsbowl.com! - six edible mascots, three on Team Sprinkles and three on Team Swirls - fans get to vote on which mascot team to sacrifice to Mouth Heaven at game’s end, the biggest edible mascot sacrifice EVER

Kind of ironic that Elizabeth Smart wasnt home, and Elizabeth Holmes wasnt smart.

Nancy Pelosi's Big Neutrals... is this anything?

What are your top 5 movie genres? Mine are: - people might get murdered - people might get murdered in space - people did get murdered, but why? - people try to steal something - people trapped in a small place, they might get murdered

Honestly yeah 😌

I Have No Iron And I Must Steam

Sad story that Verne Troyer's mother only ever made mini-mum wage

i walked over a land mine and it blew my d*ck off. because of how big it was it dragged on the floor. but now its blown off and i have no dick tho

Remember that 5 second period where everyone thought @seanrosssapp.bsky.social was debuting in AEW? Then Roderick Strong debuted and it was forgotten about.

Wow. Just came across this hella aggressive Hims hair-growth ad. What do you think about it??

People need to be more aware of the poor folks suffering from long micropenis

Post your favorite Star Trek character. Wrong answers only.

They’re calling her Megyn R. Kelly on TikTok

Cancel culture hasnt gone far enough when people like Mel Gibson, Woody Allen, Chris Brown and Louis CK still have careers.

Curious how this will impact the production of Shrek 5

this is masons wife, mason is awesome and the best. repeat, this is 100% masons actual wife for reals (a woman)

Epstein, Weinstein, McMahon, Sandusky. People knew what these monsters were doing and hushed it up. They are the ones who got caught, theres plenty more of them still out there getting away with it, with cowardly people who know and are covering for them.

A sling for carrying the best Last Jedi action figure? we call that the "over the shoulder holdo holder"

when Jeffrey Epstein calls you dirty you have a fucking problem

They did the bass! They did the -

I'll get back to "party unity" as soon as the Senate Minority Leader tells us if he voted for the Democratic party nominee for mayor of his city. I'm tired of party unity only ever running one way.

Been awhile since I rambled in a tweet thread so I figured I'd give my take on the topic of the day, which is "Why is indie wrestling doing so badly?" If you just want to skip what follows, the tl:dr is There isn't enough "fuck you" in today's wrestling.

Amazon after paying an extra $20 million for full creative control of the Bond franchise:

Chair Company kinda did something this week that Paul Rust wanted to do on Love and was told no way

She Acheron on my Hadley's Hope til I LV426