It's called a primary election but it's literally the secondary election?

guy at work told me to watch Star Wars The Mandalorian and Grogu. i said i dont got time to watch 3 movies

Happy Pride! Pope has just admitted it WAS Adam and Steve

It’s OK to be straight. It’s OK to be white. You can be proud to be snorted up my nose.

The government is making rice krispies list all the chemicals, rice and flowers they use to make their cereal. But the only ingredients we care about are Snap, Crackle and Pop (100%)

that’s neat

Me: what’s wrong honey? why are you crying? My toddler: I don’t want Adam Driver to get old. From the mouth of babes.

Thought of the day: daily thought to go here

We’re giving power back to the customer. Any meal, any size, any price. You name the price.

Am I the last one with Brain Function and a greater than room temperature IQ, (the room is in the North Pole) who still isn't literally buying Mr Beasfs bath water(not metaphorically) or are you too busy reading Buzz Feed lists? dumbass. Go see a Nurse Practitioner. #BFNP

I’m partnering with Jack Link’s to create the world’s largest superconductor.

Fuck old spice. I’m tryna get that new spice.

Looks like I’m beefing with clavicular again.

art house horror movies are now all called Testicula

He’s just too good. We will be building rosters to beat him for a decade.

Jesus was a DEI hire by God.

President Trump just said he was going to kill all dogs. We must vote him out this November.

They're calling it the world’s most useless thought experiment.

In a holistic sense, yes the human body parts decompose under ground and fertilize the soils and feed the plants, which feed the animals/vegetables we eat. Snopes rates her post partly true, and wapo gives her 1/2 a Pinocchio.

We need politics that works for Wall Street and Main Street.

Sounds serious but knowing nothing of how British government works is this when I find out there are 5,000 labor MPs.

tenet? more like tenet (backwards)

They took the cartoon porn off kickstarter and Jesse Farrar immediately starts a war. Dont fall for it. It’s a distraction.

Brownies should be WET. Get out of here with dry brownies.

🎶 I wanna fly like a seagull To the sea I wanna fly like a seagull Very short distance for me 🎶

Rigatoni down a Dream by Tom Pasketti

Nothing wrong with getting a fit off. Salute to all the designers, models, and fashion lovers.

Presidents are like your parents. They’re just human beings who have never been in this position before trying their best. Give them grace.

Joe Mazzulla you are literally on crack with this starting lineup.

im in shock after watching that Magic game and praying that wickedness doesn’t reach my Celtics

Do you think the mother of all bombs is proud of her children?

Last Dance with Meatball Jane by Tom Pasketti

Free Fallin' Meatballs by Tom Pasketti

The Philly foul baiting is driving me crazy. Kyle Lowry is coaching them good.

An old schoolmate I follow just posted himself eating raw ground beef and his face was like “mmm yummy.” bro you don’t have to pretend it tastes good. How could I possibly believe all the health benefits you mentioned. You’re a liar!

Coachella is a great place to check out new music, and some old music too. Music lovers, Coachella is on my ”music musts” playlist for 2026.

Wolf Blitzer is a crisis actor?

If you break into this house I will dial 911, which is the code to my gun safe. Inside this safe is a button that alerts the chief of police, who will authorized use of deadly force on any intruders, at which point I will provide you with the documentation of my hands registered as lethal weapons.

If they made The Raid 3 today our hero undercover would be blown up on a boat in the first scene.

lmao

“what?” is my new favorite call

Fuck this egg head ref!!

Get a fucking rebound Celtics Jesus christ

I hate this little white bald mf reffing the Celtics game

Refs really call this game like they want to keep Philly in it… ive come to accept these things as a Celtics fan.

Scully and Mulder would’ve had the island from Lost wrapped up in under 60 minutes and that’s why TV sucks now.

its so sad that if you added a simple, humble "i" to his name, the hated "Musk" could become beautiful "Musik", something universally beloved!! #TESLIA

I’d much rather be in a pinch than in a bind. unless ur pinching me with an excavator claw or something And the bind is like a mummy wrap of toilet paper. life is truly all about the details. Have a wonderful day.

doing a Tyler Durden monologue about fake coffee drinking sheep anytime I see a Starbucks

Just watched The Matrix in theaters.. forever a masterpiece.