maybe i'll just do the zehnders buffet next year

i wish i could eat a turkey that is actually a cake with 3 inches of rubber fondant wrapped around it :c

putting Way of Water on to be my "old man stands 3 feet from the tv on thanksgiving" movie

thanksgiving is a vibe!

im a slouch compared to some of your guys but my thanksgiving gauntlet has officially begun, pumpkin pie is in process. next i'll get rolls rising

love to make my kid take out their earbud so they can hear me talk a lot of bullshit that doesnt even make sense 😈

fucked up that my dumb ass brain has me up at 4am on thanksgiving like im excited for christmas or something

If Your Content Isn't Safe For Work, Then It Isn't Safe For My Eyes

i offered my family to make a roast beef tomorrow as well just for the decadence of it but everybody just wanted turkey 🤷

people on tv love to watch black and white movies

so is sarah squirm's entire thing just that look? it seems like she never actually says or does anything funny

maybe its just me but "i know what every model of car is" seems like less of a popular kind of person these days than it used to be

what if a tree had lips. would two trees kiss each other? sorry but people couldnt kiss the lips, it would NOT be allowed

Nostradamus predicted i would write this post and that you wouldn't click like/rt on it. do you believe in free will? is breaking the prophecy a subversion of the order of the universe? interesting philosophical questions but only you can decide......

i set my coffee mug on our bed and squeezed ketchup in it until it was full to the brim and then i kept adding ketchup drops to see when it would spill out but then i forgot about ketchup mug when i went to take a nap 🤣😂😅😇🤣😴😴 wife is mad

tim robinson does some of the funniest shit, i swear

What the hell happened at the doughnut experience??

The Running Man

I cut the head off a bobs big boy statue now I don't know what to do with it

do NOT like it when i start a tv show and its more minutes long than tv episodes are supposed to be. please make tv be the right minutes!!

kermit the frog inspired me to go to journalism school

I’m going to kick the “forever dog” jingle’s ass

lol remember that time a long time ago on doughboys where a guy got a plain tortilla with white rice from chipotle and did the podcast anyway

my wife and i are cracking the seal on the 2 days bowling weekend, uhoh

your a green one mister grinch.

Ugh quaritch getting a evil girlfriend in avatar 3 is so good

Rented out the theater to enjoy Sisu 2 in total privacy. Snapped a quick selfie before I took my shirt off when the movie started.

(watching the original childs play movie) ah, chucky was so young then

It’s so funny how there are a bunch of strip malls across the street from the flint mall that are all 100 times more busy than it with more stores

The squirrels n my yard are so fat! It makes me so happy :)

I've got to take the first week of January off to get my downloads folder under control

my VPN company LOVES IT when i visit their website with their VPN running, theyre like "my god, ive never seen a connection more secure"

on a weekend like this one where there is nothing going on my theater will have no indian movies but if my wife and i plan a trip out of town they will have 4 and 1 will be at the ultra-rare non-9pm time

Percival pushes his chair back loudly and clears his throat. He unzips his tuxedo pants, and strikes the side of his champagne flute with his prodigious member. "Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to propose a toast to the first meeting of the Proper Decorum Society."

i saw beauty and wonder. i saw the true shining heart of humanity. i truly turned my life around on a "heroic dose" of hylands brand homeopathic infant cough elixir (ad)

they have his NASTY ass his own meal!?!?!?!!

sorry to do this kind of post but 2025 really does have a "bad end of Stephen King's 11/22/63" vibe

"Just because it burns doesn't mean you're gonna die, you gotta get up and try, try, try." - Albet Einstien

its funny that in the world of child's play magic and voodoo are real and the result of that is a mean doll

i’m so sick of the grinch! he’s MEAN youtube.com/shorts/f2YxB...

im so lazy i have been putting off watching a movie and playing a video game for like an hour and a half

im in a silly mood tonight 🤪

Lady Gaga should play a villain

Sometimes if we have a big family trip to the movies and someone can’t make it I will offer to see it again later in the week and end up regretting it. Anyway, now you see me 3

if I was the minute hand on a clock I would only move every minute or maybe every 5 minutes. these go getters moving a little every second when that isn't even your job are funny like who are you trying to impress 😂😆

i want to see the funny movie the characters in movies get to see on TV while waiting for some action to happen. we can tell by their laughs that first something a little funny happens, then right after something pretty funny happens, then a real gut buster. it seems satisfying.

due their extensive knowledge of human anatomy, every doctors hands should be considered lethal weapons. they are a menace to mankind and should be manacled any time they are not "on the clock".

youtu.be/xgvPrp0Kal4 my brother did this animation and I did the voices and I’m a little too proud of myself actually

Any sandwich tastes better if you cut it in half

every time I pull a t shirt off one-handed I feel very proud of myself like i did a hard trick but I know it's not actually impressive at all