I've started a little film essay blog. My first piece is on why in the dying age of film criticism I had to be dragged kicking and screaming to do it. I love to write about films. I know the internet too well to do so. cinemastroll.substack.com/p/a-long-con...

you could write an entire book about this post and I will for the right price

This is exactly what everyone in the mainstream media has sounded like eulogizing Charlie Kirk

[Discussing a movie review in which the writer keeps mistakenly referring to a character’s house as an “apartment”:] “He failed the spatial relations section in film class”

Tom Clancy’s for colored girls who have considered suicide / when the rainbow is enuf

David Lynch gave us the language we needed to better articulate the indescribable strangeness of our shared reality. “Lynchian” is so overused because it’s a viscerally understandable word without any known synonyms. I can’t imagine a more beautiful artistic legacy than that.

Rest in Peace, David Lynch

RIP, David Lynch. Truly one of the great weirdoes in film and television history.

Thank you David Lynch for your boundless empathy

Perry, the donkey who served as the Donkey model for Shrek, has passed away at the age of 30.

lolsob porn/romance scam bots are now putting Dem resist stuff in their bios because they found that their follow back culture is an easy way in

Woody Guthrie wrote a song after FDR's death with a refrain that works for Jimmy Carter as well: "This world was lucky to see him born" www.woodyguthrie.org/Lyrics/Dear_...

fun fact the only reason is Warner Bros. owns DC Comics is because in 1966 a mob-owned NJ parking lot company merged with an 1880s-founded house renovation service and went on a truly random string of acquisitions.

Aspiring filmmakers forced to rely on October month and Spirit Halloween to source cheap costumes and props

We are now at the point we must beware of the Chumbley

fun fact the man who writes all the conservative NYT headlines is a slime troll who lives in a poop cave and is paid exclusively in old bones.

Luigi Mangione just retained an attorney.

The idea of a Luigi Mangione implies there's a Waluigi Mangione.

B. J. Novak post more like this

I presume vast schools of pricklefish swim near the holly reefs. They don't teach spelling in those schools, though.

NYPD suspects that the killer of United Healthcare's CEO has fled the city, but they are not giving up. 24 hours a day, in precincts all over the city, officers whose heads are the exact size and shape of a Boars Head boiled ham showing each other stuff on their phones and injecting steroids.

Is there any worse self-own than hitting snooze, then proceeding to have an absolutely face-melting nightmare during the ten extra minutes

The CEO of an amoral health insurance company has been assassinated, leading to celebrations from an angry populace, moral debates, and a citywide manhunt. Critics are calling it "preachy Oscar bait that wades into heady topics without much to say about them". 49% on Rotten Tomatoes.

honestly this method of filmmaking sounds headache inducing but fun, like doing algebraic geometry in order to play pretend in the backyard

man you take a brief leave of absence from the CIA and everyone forgets how to do coups

[trying to talk to a server while going out socially for the first time in several months] Hrm, methinks I’m feeling a bit peckish indeed … and mayhaps I shall partake in an, ahem, shall we say, “adult beverage?” Squee!!!

For the hell of it gonna write a cynical parody thriller where Real Actor Timothee Chalamet is kidnapped by a deranged cinephile and fights his way out with the help of a heroic movie exec who looks like Glen Powell, and Sloppo the IP robot. It will be called “THE MOST SELLABLE MOVIE EVER MADE”

One time I shushed an usher at a Broadway show.

My son's film just had a sneak preview tonight. Packed theater. Big hit. And one of the funniest films I have seen in forever. Like classic Monty Python meets Pink Panther with a brutal take on the current political nightmare. Next it's off to film festivals. www.closethatboxthemovie.com

Home on the Range (2004)

there’s a point in Moana 2 where things look pretty rough for Moana, and let me tell you, it was a rough go of it for a few minutes there among the 11am Black Friday toddler crowd

just met a black-and-white cat named oreo speedwagon you're welcome

In case someone claims otherwise I’m here to tell you that Singin’ In The Rain is absolutely a Thanksgiving movie because at one point they even dress up like giant turkeys and dance around

wow the parade this year was crazy

it’s fairly badass that Julie Andrews won an Oscar for playing Mary Poppins

oh my god i can’t believe they put a parade float of Bobby Dupea from FIVE EASY PIECES in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade what in the world were they thinking

if you make or enjoy Green Bean Casserole today you should go straight to the slammer and have to tunnel your way out like Andy Dufresne if you want to do Thanksgiving again, i don’t make the rules

When they used canned cranberries

The real king.

learning that Oprah's real name is Orpah is one of those wedge factoids that will permanently destroy your ability to speak normally about her ever again. it alters your brain chemistry. "Do you mean Orpah?" you'll say, every time. if you're reading this it's already too late

That new Oz musical must be really popular in Boston. All you hear in some bars is wicked this and wicked that…

This is absolutely true because people can absolutely display illiteracy with cinema, a medium that activates totally different parts of the brain than reading/listening.

I can’t even use meta stuff anymore. Too many places to check. Too many ads. Facebook is just reels about cooking with carbs and DIY cleaning solutions that make mustard gas. Keep it simple.

There are NO bathroom police. Use the public restroom that you want. Moms take their boys into the women’s bathroom all the time when traveling. As a cis woman, I’ve used the men’s room a couple of times when I really had to go and there was a huge line for the lady’s. Got a funny look or two. 1/