Already have 5 followers on my soft launch. Chapters begin releasing on Jan 15. Want to get in on the ground floor of an epic LitRPG series? Give PARADISE DELAYED a follow. Merry Christmas! www.royalroad.com/fiction/1445...

Merry Christmas

Guys we need to shut down Substack until we can figure out what the hell is going on

These announcers are talking mad shit about Cincinnati lmfao

little gnome-type guy wearing a sleeping cap popped out of the turkey when we went to carve it this year. made a quip about how somebody must have “left the heat on(?)” and went straight to the couch. he’s been sitting there ever since. not sure what protocol is here. where did he go to the bathroom

Alright, that's all the posting I've got

11 original posts in 45 minutes, one of them is good Yeah we're cooking today

How do you make a video game?

This year we're all at the kids table btw

I'm my own thanksgiving uncle this year. I'm over here in the corner telling myself conspiracy theories i heard about 30 hours into YouTube autoplay and telling myself about poly market which i just found out about last week

Brb gotta say the incantation The incantation: "why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food"

Can't end subscription

Extremely fast hands, drink malort, jack off, skin turns to sandpaper

You get [superpower] but only if [condition], and if you [forbidden action] you [consequence].

Almost everything is computer

I'm crawling into my hole now, where I will be posting from today.

Everything is computer

Let's do some posting today

To fight fascism we need opposition media with a backbone. 𝘓𝘪𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭 𝘊𝘶𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 is that. Help us grow our voice. www.gofundme.com/f/the-libera...

My biggest issue is there's no lighting, no sets, and no organic depth to anything. Everything is as bland as possible so they can swap out what's on the green screen without any extra work. Efficient, yes. But soulless.

How your email finds me:

sorry i’ve been talking a lot about killing dogs lately i watched the thing the other day still a fucking amazing creepy gross banger of a movie also i found out i’m related to kristi noem who is herself kinda like the thing when you really think about it

AAAAAAÀAAAAAAAAA

Skeeting while waiting for pizza

PIZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HELLO!

WHO'S UP

Let's fuckign Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Woke 2

I love to stare longingly at the trading card and collectibles section while I'm waiting in line for the register in target. It's so much better than actually buying trading cards and collectibles.

The posting juice is gone. My posting sac has run dry.

(Showing you some annoying shit that sucks ass) and would you believe a computer made this all by itself?

The battle of The Faucet and The Sink.

Now the faucet isn't working again and the sink is leaking.

You have been visited by Kam the sheepadoodle. Like, repost, and comment “good boy” for good luck this weekend. Keep scrolling if you want to have 7 years bad luck.

I believe that Denny from THE ROOM is a dog who got transformed into a boy who does drugs.

writing Kingdom Hearts like

I want to go as hard as the need for speed hot pursuit 2 soundtrack

Either SPHERE or DARKNESS FALLS. Can’t remember which one I saw first, but both of them terrified me as a kid.

Nothing kills my mood like a James Cameron film.

Kitchen inventory: 100 spoons 100 coffee mugs 2 forks

Dog (internal monologue): “I’m gonna lick this carpet now.”

The sink can now be turned on normally, but must be shut off with a deft and forceful maneuver using a screwdriver.

The sink broke 😭

I needed to read a few threads on X so I made an account and it is so, so much worse than Twitter. Disgusting.

Who's a good boy!? Who's a good boy!? 😭 😭 😭

I'm doing better today

argument of bluesky not being as good as twitter is so strange because i see these goofballs twistin themselves into knots writing big long articles just to say its bad, but then i use bluesky it is just like OBVIOUSLY better in every way. twitter is literally an unusable barely functioning website