An artistic choice. To show the great big huge floppy very large old man hog pissing. For character development.

yeah good idea Wewe

Does the little animal want to be good? Does it care, when I tell it that it is so?

guy pobcast bian kimby

oh you're at the club? I'm in the lobby of the only endocrinologist in town who does trans HRT and takes Medicaid

I don't REALLY have the right to be resentful/feeling-hurt in this situation but I am going to treat myself

Olympics event Fast Jump who go up the fastest

I identify as genderfunny

all of the apartments I have lived in as an adult have featured excessively noisy neighbors of either the Angry Screaming Tantrum Man variety or the Drug Party House variety (latter type is less upsetting noise-wise but more likely to steal your mail)

today in phrases I Googled because I thought they were funny but then I learned something

Death has many wives, of which Regret is one. She is ugly but she is a good mother.

going to emit an orb

My mom is a Beatles megafan and she is at war with like 90% of the Beatles fan groups on social media because they're all posting AI Beatles content and she's a historical purist who does not want the photo record polluted with false garbage. Most other fans are like "lol it's just fun???"

learned that some tardigrades do courtship. he pet her with him feelers

Preparing for snows of hell, doing survival preparation (i.e. waiting slightly longer than usual for my milk and noodles in the grocery pickup lot.)

Wallet fell out of pocket when I Uber'd back from hospital. I went thru the lost item process on the app, the driver sent me a photo of wallet for confirmation, so he definitely has it and knows I'm looking for it, but he won't answer his phone or return my calls and I'm getting antsy two days later

is it weird to tell your uncle he smells good? already did it btw

Upping my T dose to try to get my voice to change before whatever shit goes down that causes me to go to prison

For years I've been trying to get my mother to wear a mask in various settings, always failing (she was very into masking in early pandemic times but like many has decided it's over.) This has ranged from gentle ribbing to outright yelling matches about it and I'm done beating my head against it.

People who say Babu Frik can't be forgiven because they deepthroated a lawn gnome are the same people who simp for these folks.

I am sometimes struggling to tell what is AI. Should I assume everything is or just give everything the benefit of the doubt if it's not very obvious AI? There's a third option but my therapist says I shouldn't say that anymore

What if I'm one of those boring people who tells you the same story over and over? How can I be sure what stories I've told my friends so I don't repeat myself to anyone? The only solution is to abandon my current friends and never speak to them again, and make all new friends

I do not want to argue with you (about whether it's okay to flush a bowl of old wet catfood down the toilet.) I want to hurt you for being wrong.

that moment on Blue's Clues when Steve was talking about ten of something and we-the-audience see a clue and start yelling "A clue! A clue!" and Steve, misunderstanding, says "... ten clues?" and sways, looking and sounding like a man who has been told he must give birth to a baby calf from his dick

I dreamed an old guy on the street was weakly punching me for being Leftist or whatever and my first response was "Take it easy, man!" Now wondering is this what I'd say in real life?

(minor The Pitt spoiler) Crazy they will show a whole hard penis on The Pitt. They don't even show that on the gay hockey show! I have only watched like 5 episodes of gay hockey show so don't tell me if they do show a hard dick later for some sort of... climactic moment. 😁

Is the deer in the John Deere logo named John? That's John Deere? Added 'e' at the end like Marvin Gaye?

I feel like the gay hockey show is a big cake. Like it's good but the whole thing is the same thing, it's all just more of itself. And that's cool! I like a cake!

eating my single broccoli crown to get big and strong like mommy said. wrapping the chicken up in the tortilla and my one other thing is hot sauce.

don't believe me just watch *dies of malaria*

ouwww I have internal bleeding (bit the inside of my mouth)

I feel like you didn't really need "dentist" in this headline

One of those little songs I just think about a lot www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5-f...

Artie from The Sopranos is a ubiquitous archetype present in most friendgroups of size. Guy Whose Vibe Is A Little Off But Is Nice And Somewhat Pitiable And Occasionally Causes A Problem

when I wake up and drink some water

Expressing some frustration in the language of my kind

Even aside from everything else obviously wrong and stupid about the situation: If you believe a driver is trying to run you over, how would firing at them from 2 feet away be self defense? like the car would stop? (Yes I know that's not really what he believed, don't me)

Can you get tomatoes that have been dried some other way

Blackbird Roofing in the dead of night 🎶

as a nonbinary I might have a fluid gender identity but I definitely have a fluid dinner identity. because soup is liquid and is my dinner? what's that?

look all I'm saying is if I see an orb of darkness hovering silently overhead I'm growling at it. if you grew up in my neighborhood you'd get it

A fun of living with my mother is that whenever I am experiencing a health condition or symptom I can mention it to her and she can go "Oh yeah, I got that too. That never goes away."

The Creator Pokemon Arceus looks kind of like a horse. In at least one major generation of Care Bears lore, the creator of the multi-species suppor heroes the Caring Cousins is Noble Heart Horse. Based on these two data points, humans innately recognize that horses gave birth to all other life

"You're viewing older messages." Yes I know, I wish to review how funny I was and how no one cared

Having watched each successive season of Stranger Things with steadily diminishing interest I sunk-costed myself into watching the first part of the final season. Then when I was, with absolutely no joy or anticipation, clicking on the finale I went "You know what? No. I'm free. I don't owe shit."

The exact version of The Oregon Trail I owned as a child apparently does not exist anywhere and much like the real Orgeon Trail I am haunted by the lonely memories of grainily animated settlers with crackling voices only I can hear

Watching NL relentlessly plant seeds of Steely Dan enjoyment in thousands of online twentysomethings is so satisfying, speaking as someone who was once the only 4th grader in my class whose favorite song was Hey Nineteen

soooo which plants are rich in lysine? asking for friends who were engineered in a laboratory to have an amino acid deficiency that causes them to die after a few days without supplementary lysine as a contingency for preventing them from proliferating outside captivity

This is interesting for many reasons but to me personally because I thought spraying Petz was upsetting (wouldn't have called it evil but certainly sadistic) but I did absolutely whatever to my Norns because that was chiefly a game about genetic tinkering to me.

You really don't want to look at what the animal rights crowd is posting about Brigitte Bardot (and especially at what they're replying when someone mentions her racist shit.) Avoid.