Might we have a world series where each team's best offensive player are a pitcher and catcher, respectively?

Nothing better than a tight game 7 between teams you like vibratorially but aren’t invested in, sports!!

The correct amount of attention to pay to the stock market and ~finance as a whole: don’t forget to eventually roll the $12k from a job in your 20s into whatever your current thing is, over and over till you retire, then spend $500 one time for a guy to lay out an easy plan to follow till you die.

you raggedy bitch, I made my signs the old fashioned way — using and abusing the color printer and other random arts and craftsy bullshit kicking around at my office

the Muppets have been real quiet since the Louvre heist

I’m friends with a bunch of semi-degenerates in their 60s and 70s and find it endearing that their weed is still absolute garbage. Go with what you know!

I’m too square to be as pro-crime as the best comrades are—shoplifting is only semi cool, killing an insurance guy is better than killing a normal guy but still kinda bad—but even I got enough joie de scam to appreciate jacking napoleon’s crown.

Saw Chicago punk rock royalty Brendan Kelly last night and he’s abandoned his longtime dream of a tour shirt of Calvin pissing on Calvin in favor of Calvin pissing on ICE.

Even if No Kings doesn’t accomplish anything tangible, my wife for instance doesn’t have time to scroll all this shit every day and I suspect she just wants the chance to get off her job and be counted for a minute. What’s the downside?

Realized I don’t really have hobbies, I just like rolling through the day doing all the traditional shit one does. I don’t mind exercising, kinda like cooking, eating is downright fun, reading is good, kicking it with the fellas, having a few beers, petting the cat: adds up to a nice life for me.

As far as coats go, it’s been a very chaotic day for the people of the greater Boston area. A high of 54 is a very incoherent temperature for us sartorially.

Couple times a year when she’s had some beers Emily talks like my dad, who she never even met. “Seems like just the other day we were banging around 15th Street.” Banging around?? She’s going to take DUI lawyer money out of my piggy bank tonight, isn’t she. Fine.

Kid can work a Dave’s, I married up

Today’s our anniversary and we’re celebrating at the 3rd nicest hotel in Providence—this town has like 10 hotels, 3rd nicest is no joke—and waiting for the Dave and Buster’s at the mall to open.

Em's a hotshot business lady and her whole shit is currently asunder due to the absence of a man named Cody. As signs of societal collapse go, hard to beat the concept of load-bearing Codys.

Met a dog named Legacy earlier and it’s mostly on me for saying “what an interesting name!” like a dipshit, but come on.

These ESPN baseball guys are fine but man do they come heavy with the esoteric stats. They sound like mostly interesting ones but I can’t (be bothered to) keep up.

A buddy’s kid is stressed about growing older—she’s maybe 14—and that sounded weird-to-concerning to me at first but I wonder if she’s just content and skeptical about whether it gets better. Like she knows 15 will also be good but since it’s a step closer to 36, what’s the rush.

My most strongly held beliefs are that sitting at the bar is the cornerstone of a healthy life and also that most everyone I know should drink a lot less. A pickle! But bars are great and essential

Got frisked by the sports bar bouncer last night in Detroit, which I think was a first for me and mostly bad BUT after I passed inspection he said “all right, playboy, have fun in there tonight” so all’s well.

What’s the highest political office you can hold while being normal? Can a state rep be a regular guy? The couple Cambridge city councillors I’ve met seem wound pretty tight and that’s not even a real job.

3 morning airport beers always makes me think hey people live like this, right? I could be one maybe? Get up, do your back stretches, couple beers, maybe a nap, then lunch? Seems civilized, like how they might do in Luxembourg or someplace?

There’s a La-Z-Boy conference at our hotel and they’re getting down fine, average. I just expected more!

Not a huge math guy but this is a compelling argument.

A lot of shit in Detroit is called the Cadillac this or that because Trevor Cadillac was one of the original guys but it’s funny when you got a Cadillac car/margarita conception to see that like the Cadillac Arms is not in fact a nice apartment building, just the one in Cadillac Square.

There’s a damn ferris wheel at the ballpark, Detroit is America’s finest city.

Got an email about family-friendly apple picking places and now I desperately need to know about the other kind.

Going to Detroit this weekend mostly because the aquarium is free, but looks like there’s tons of other cool stuff too!

Was raised and remain wary of Southie, but we went down to Castle Island Brewing for a couple beers and a pizza, real good time.

This is correct, and even then “Tyler” was the leading contender, as we no longer produce Jeffs at scale.

I should certainly hope that if I get shot on stage while saying hateful shit to a bunch of Utahn dullards

The Kraft kid did Mayor Michelle a favor in the end. I knew she was very popular but it was good of him to sacrifice his dignity to put a number on it.

Debrief after catching up with dear old friends tonight. Me: I can’t BELIEVE Teddy brews his own beer and this is the first I heard of it! Em: for sure. Hey are he and Caroline married? Me: Dunno. Never seemed my place to check his government paperwork?? Maybe ask ICE? Jesus.

Ordered a Pilsner at Gansett taproom and the guy served it with a “here’s your thrillsner,” oh hell yeah!

Tinas are lady Jeffs (presumed guilty) but I must hand it to Tina here.

well personally i would rather see your boobs than news stories that make you mad but maybe im just eternally optimistic about what social media could be

Sunday night at the bar is always great but a particular highlight is when big dog announces which days he will not be drinking going forth. M-Th off limits! I admire it and root for it.

Our neighborhood’s pretty dense & has good transit (we’re fine w/o a car) and all my neighborhood bar buddies over age 40 EVER do is bitch about parking and bike lanes and restaurant patios. It must be so annoying for local pols, because it takes up soooo much civic oxygen.

Last night Em made friends with the hallway cat’s owner and they’re plotting a hallway party, which is great but now I’m stressed trying to decide if I think Louie would like to also be a hallway cat. She’s lower-middle friendly but does like to check stuff out (ie, she is a cat).

I was hoping Putin might do it, just for the love of the game. Oh well.

I thought “oh shit, right, hadn’t considered that” every other sentence of this story.

These rancid losers doing everything they can to sink Mamdani just makes me more enthusiastic about his political future! I’ve gone from being like “he seems neat” to “HE’S THE GODDAMNED FUTURE, LOCK IN, PEOPLE!!!!”

I always vote and will never vote for an R so I’m in reality (if not in posture) a “blue no matter who” dork, but that’s only when you’re down to just the 2 choices! We have 3 years to prevent dickheads like Mister Pete and Newsom from being one of the final 2!

I know it’s fine because they’re 3 and 4 but as a nonparent I always find it jarring to be reminded that my niece and nephew are nudists.

Tourists go in the “wrong” bathroom in Boston Irish bars all the time because if you’re from more civilized places you might not know what mna and fir mean. The reaction is always “damn this place is weird and confusing and not user friendly, can i have another beer please.” Who cares, it’s fine.

I like Cambridge and will prob live here forever but one drawback is too many ppl land here b/c of the colleges. They don’t love the idea of city life but they got into MIT so they made the “sacrifice.” I don’t resent them per se because I see their dilemma, but they’re a drag on civic-mindedness.

Cuomo is doing Mamdani such a favor. If he hadn’t run the videos would be “we all know you’re not voting for the red beret clown, see you on election day” which would certainly work but wouldn’t be part of the national news cycle.

ATV wheelie kids stress me out because I’m afraid I’ll laugh when I eventually see one wipe out and somehow sever his nuts with his own femur.

I love cities but I understand there are valid good faith reasons to not dig them. “But the street smells like piss” is a fair criticism. I think the good far outweighs it, but I hear you. But then just leave us alone in our happy piss cities! It doesn’t have to be your problem!

I assume 10s of millions of GOP voters have been to DC, they must know this is all bullshit? Like racists might avoid Chicago and Baltimore because it’s easy to, but if you want to fuck the first flag you need to go to DC, at which point you realize it’s as safe as anywhere else worth visiting.