I had wet Fairfield Inn eggs for breakfast then went to 2 breweries then had onion rings and saw Tracy Bonham play at the Irish bar, and yet the haters still say I’m not father of the year.

Fun to walk in the era where it’s good news when a car speeds up approaching crosswalk, because that means he’s trying to bully you but will stop if you force it so as to avoid hassle (paperwork etc) of killing you. If he doesn’t play that game it means he’s looking at draft kings and u gotta yield.

incredible opportunity. would love to pick his brain

It’s only matter of time before we find out that Kash Patel has a CRAZY sports betting addiction.

One of my favorite types of guy is Amtrak cafe car guy. This lady today has a special device to open nips with because the Makers Mark specifically was arthrititizing her thumbs. Work didn’t pay for it and I think I’m angrier about that than she is.

I’m gonna start a new kind of search firm for university presidents. Give me $1000 in cash and a tastefully curated selection of Homefield gear from your school, and I will encourage you to hire the second or third biggest asshole you can find instead of the biggest asshole.

Been in classical Portland the last few days. Every business has a fuck ICE sign, even the fancy boutiques that might not employ or cater to immigrants and might not want to rock the $ boat. Maine is a very old, very white state that keeps electing Susan Collins, and they all hate these pigs.

We stumbled upon a Russian River thing in Maine and I tell you what Pliny is still better than all the other big IPAs.

Train to Portland’s full of middle school Maine dirtbags in Tatum jerseys (and all right, one Pritchard) drilling hot dogs and Gatorade on the way back from Copper’s game at the Garden last night; it’s 20% annoying and 80% endearing.

Red Line’s currently filthy with ads for the state’s lotto app and the disclaimer cracks me up even more than usual. “On the off chance you play Keno on your fuckin phone and also somehow? have a gambling problem? call 1-800”

Reading a novel set around WWII makes me wonder what war drove the fewest sign-ups. Is there some unspeakable niche perversion that will lead a single guy to say “withdraw my ICE application and fast-forward me to Iran!”?

Liz I love you but this sucks.

neighborhood guy I’ve known to nod hi to for 20 years falls asleep at the club around dinner time a lot of nights now. Not ideal but he’s friendly and he pays his tab and walks home, so ok. Turns out he’s a 2-shift guy who falls asleep ~10 of the weekly 14. People live so many different ways.

Janet Mills can both suck and be better than the dumbass scallop nazi. This whole race is weird as shit, I grant that, but it’s not complicated

“Idiot dipshit” is the most obvious and important part of it. We can let his friends and family parse that vs actually malicious, because in a civilian idiot dipshit isn’t the worst kinda guy to be. But once it’s established in a senate candidate, voters needn’t sweat the larger character opacities.

Trade the rest of Congress for picks. Rebuild around Omar and Tlaib

Why would anything Trump does be "a distraction from Epstein"? What consequences was he in fact facing or at risk of facing? The guy just wanted to blow up Muslims.

Times like these I wish there was a way for a war casual to figure out what the fuck’s going on without coming across so much discussion about the right v wrong way to blow up random kids.

This is stupid and insane of course, but I don’t know that we need the troops learning MIT type shit till Pete’s in prison anyway. They got a nuclear reactor on campus, for instance.

Tbh now I’m wondering how close I’ve come to doing this for free

We’re both sick (I think regular, Em leans flu) and I’m so much better suited to it. Yeah men are wimps sure, but there’s utility in being so so willing to call it for the next 48. “But how will the widgets get made and the exercise get done?” Lady just give me your breakfast beer order.

When companies change admin software every 9 months, is that just straight bribery from vendors? Between me and Em we average at least 2 payroll fuckups a year because the new platform was preset to military time or didn’t know we get Sundays off & it’s almost worse to think there are no kickbacks.

I know it’s not the main problem but could at least a tiny bit of this be mitigated by parents getting up in some asses here?

I do wonder how much of this is irredeemable “hockey culture” vs how much is a couple sets of shithead siblings who are enabled because they make everyone around them a bit more money. Totally sucks either way, just curious about the true scope of the thing.

You know all those reports about many many years of our life we spend stuck in traffic or on customer service hold? I’m curious how many more trips to the 7-11 for emotional support Kit Kats I could have made if the winter ones didn’t take so much longer.

The worst part of living in a place with an affordability problem is bartenders can’t live close enough to walk to work on snow days.

not much snow seems to have landed yet, it’s still just angrily circling the building and calling me a big soft indoor bitch.

"members-only philly cop bar" is one of those phrases you can smell

I’m sure many or most of the beautiful ice boys are dickheads but I’d be shocked if a single one of them has any idea who Kash Patel is.

Cast Em in the role of hating Eileen Gu (gave myself the much easier role) and she’s growing into it, this is what marriage is all about.

It’d be ok if tirico shut the fuck up for 5 seconds

I know the handsome kid with the busted face and 10 brothers scored the big goal, BUT seems plausible that the most important American hockey player of the last 46 years went to UMass Lowell, which cracks me up (respectfully)

Was the Olympics more fun than usual this year or is it just that everything else sucks so much? Either way, good time, thank you to all the ice youth

Against my better judgment I just can’t help loving our large hockey idiots, please no one tell me anything about any of them.

It still blows my mind that they’re called “overseers.”

In better bad neighborhood news, we have a couple old-school street corner drug dealers now, didn’t know that was still a viable career path.

Is all the sidewalk dog shit in my neighborhood a symptom of societal collapse or a symptom of one or 2 dickheads getting dogs? (I don’t get out much, honestly don’t know what’s going on in other neighborhoods, turd-wise)

I like to think it is foreign influence, it’d be funny if we got here because Cambodia bought Gorsuch a sick boat.

Do hockey ladies get rowdy? I feel like we’re going to get some good celebration stories/pics out of them. Which is to say Hilary Knight beat me to death with a pitcher of Miller Lite.

This has to be related to why all my friends think their kids need private tutors, right? The total devaluation of the town-paid lady who has a degree in teaching 3rd grade and will do it comprehensively for your kid if you just accept that he doesn’t need AAU Mobility Accelerant for Reading.

We know a bunch of college age women who are straight(ish) and I think the generation’s weird dating norms are largely down to “men mostly suck, they’re good for one thing and sure that has its place but I’m not over-investing in it.” And that’s a little sad but hard to argue with.

Is there a reason beyond race that hockey is so MAGA? With pros you have $ too, but whenever the Globe has an “off-duty cop charged with assault at youth sports game,” seems it’s always hockey.

The Cantab has added Keno, a stunning and potentially ruinous turn of events

Mayor should be like school superintendent where if you’re good at it you keep getting promoted to bigger cities. I’d hate to lose her but ideally Michelle Wu will be running Mexico City in 2042.

Respect to all the other dads out here in our red flannel tonight, we do what we can

Morning beers absolutely still count on the last day of vacation, the degeneracy’s half the fun!

I loved watching the Pats this season and bummed to see them go down but Seattle did their homework and disarmed us at every turn. Well earned win for the Seahawks.

They have different ads in Puerto Rico, mostly for fast food and all in a language I don’t speak. It rules.

We’re watching at the hotel pool in San Juan and the whole staff job-abandoned when the great man came on and none of the Waltham dads in Drake Maye shirts seem that mad about it despite it being prime beer refill time, nice scene.

Didn’t even occur to me that in Puerto Rico you can watch the Super Bowl outside, wholly superior society.