How does Kirk Cousins keep stealing money out of people’s pockets my goodness

I had one good idea at work that got recognized by our global head of manufacturing and now I feel like Kevin when he says that the best cookie location in the vending machine is D-4

With Cousins and Mendoza in the QB room everyone better make sure they’re doing their nighttime prayers

Reminder that Fanatics is an illegal monopoly

I can’t believe we’re going to steal the moon

Today's the day.

Garrett Mitchell shouldn’t challenge anything

Worst umpire in the majors

Lmao now THATS some Brewers bullshit

Oh Cody’s losing the title

Big fan of haboobs

I was told Kyle Harrison is good

We could give SAP first strike capabilities but you have to know the exact right t-code first and then navigate 14 pages to finally get there to find out you don’t actually have authorization anyways

This reads as more of a bad mark on Matt than the players. Yes players ultimately need to buy into roles, but coaches need to be able to put guys in the right spot or work with the players to buy into the overall plan.

Gonna wear my "Wisconsin: Center of the Women's Hockey Universe" shirt in Las Vegas to remind the other 3 schools there that they are inferior for not having women's NCAA programs.

Arm the children

What a collapse from Duke

Couldn’t have happened to a better team lmao

UCONN HOLY SHIT

WOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Gary is so slow

No, no let him do it. The memes will be hilarious.

As important as anyone who ever put on a Milwaukee Bucks jersey. 2 things changed in 2019: Brook and Bud. And they took off. A legend.

If Sal wasn’t 4’3” tall he’d have caught that

Rickie Weeks quit so we could just give Brandon Sproat his number?

OH JOEY

I didn’t know Dr Chase Meridian plays for the White Sox now let alone left Gotham City

I never want to hear the words "Brandon Sproat" again thanks

I was told Brandon Sproat is good

Stop giving Nike money

I was today years old when I found out that Chuck Norris’ real name is Carlos

Dylan Darling with the game on the line

another banner day for "if you didn't know sports were real, ESPN headlines would be crazy"

Take Tiger’s license away

The NBA doesn’t have a tanking issue the NBA has a proliferation of gambling issue

Someone told Freeman the Dodgers have a large Korean fan base and he picked the wrong Korea

162-0

It’s been nice to know you Jake Woodford

Filed with the 'We Are So Back' department. The Brewers are ahead, 8-1, and throwing Aaron Ashby in the sixth inning.

Tobias Myers in relief of a game Freddy started. This makes perfect sense for a *checks notes* Mets game.

I step away to do my job for one second and apparently I missed something good the Brewers did

The Rock being a Disney Legend is absurd They’re just out here making everyone legends

unfortunately I could not prognosticate a Jackson Chourio injury back in early March when I put this together, but I will count this as A- ball knowledge

I stopped writing in cursive in 6th grade because I was writing notes slower than regular handwriting and it was filling up my notebooks too fast. Legal documents don’t specify signatures be in cursive. Signatures don’t even need to be legible. Mandating this is dumb.

Happy Opening Day! [two seconds later] God damn it all to hell!

Levering is the next great national broadcaster after BA.

Has anyone considered that maybe Chappell Roan is just an asshole?

We’ve told all the casting agents that the Weird Al biopic sequel is currently on hold, but they just keep sending in headshots.

Jemaine Clement stuns in first photo of him as Tamatoa in Disney's live action Moana

I'm sorry, Moana came out in 2016 and Moana 2 came out in 2024. Why are we ALREADY doing a live action remake of a movie that's barely a decade old?