Over/under on how long my therapist and I complain about the construction on 94 today. The line is 12.5 minutes.

A really boomer thing my sister and I do is look at condos on Zillow and then send listings to each other saying "can you BELIEVE this HOA? Who would live here?"

Wide awake stressed, not about work but about a for-fun themed bar crawl.

Apologies to my energy bill but I have to turn the AC on. My sourdough starter is peaking too fast in these conditions and I cannot keep feeding her.

I can give guest passes out to my virtual office space. Should I give my friends guest passes so they can virtually drop into my virtual office whenever they want?

I'm sensitive today and had to turn off Noah Kahan because Doors, a song I've listened to dozens of times, hurt my feelings too much today.

Local journalism is incredibly important and should be supported and protected at all costs.

I took a nap so incredible that I cannot wait until bedtime so I can do it all over again but longer.

I had such a perfect day™️ yesterday that someone stole my credit card and charged $3500 at Nordstrom’s and it didn’t dampen my mood at all.

Wanting to see a tornado doesn’t seem like that big of an ask but alas, here I am.

You think these gas prices can hurt me? When I was in high school gas was $4.50/gal and I drove an Astrovan that got 12mpg and had a 25 gallon tank.

Not an eviction notice being posted on the door of one of my fav fast food burger places 😭

I loved doing the Disney College Program but damn, seeing people I did the program with celebrating their 10th year with the company makes me anxious.

One the hardest parts about shopping local in the craft space is local shop business hours are like 11-2pm Monday, Wednesday, Thursday.

One of my well worn but favorite “fully remote company” jokes is when two coworkers are sick at the same time and getting to accuse them of getting each other sick.

My sister and I are going full fancy and got tickets for the special ticketed event for Bravo Night at the stadium. Catch us wearing aprons and sitting in club seating.

Goddamn I love casserole

It’s important for me to periodically check in to make sure Gus Gnorski is still alive.

I would change my tune real fast on Kalshi if they let me bet on the Racing Sausages.

Yesterday I was making fun of my mom for the amount of butter she is stockpiling in her freezer and, like a good Midwestern Mom, offered me some of her butter if I needed it and then I had to admit I also have a ton of butter in my freezer. It's important to stockup while it's on sale.

I’ve worn this top I crocheted to three games now and people are constantly stopping me to ask where I got it/did I make it and I feel like such a smug asshole when I say “why yes, I did make this. I even embroidered the patch.”

We all know I have a trauma response to games going into extra innings after that 18 inning game I attended.

Truly my biggest pet peeve at baseball games is people not waiting until half innings to get up.

Treating my mental health sucks bc eight High Lifes now hit like 12.

The grown up version of seeing a teacher outside of school is seeing a bartender outside work at a different bar.

I saw a TikTok today where a woman was saying she didn’t see a reason to ever drink anywhere but at home, but I’m at a bar where a man is wondering if he should leave his wife and his friends are hyping him up to leave her, and I can’t get this kind of drama at home.

I just found a mason jar of pre rolls in a box from when I lived in Denver. No way those bad boys are still good, so we must salute our fallen soldiers 🫡

My doctor sent a prescription over to CVS like two hours ago and they have already sent me four reminders that they are ready for pickup. Please, leave me in peace.

My entire life is just trying to type fast enough to beat @jake.hashtag.biz to a joke I know we're both about to make because we are two halves of a whole idiot.

I genuinely feel like I've been working for hours and just saw it's only been 30 minutes and started laughing out loud at the absurdity of adult work.

Should I buy... a printer?

I love when the RLM guys post content specifically highlighting Milwaukee

This whole "$60 cover" drama on tiktok has made me realize there is a whole different side to Milwaukee's nightlife I had absolutely no clue existed since I've been drinking $3 High Lifes at corner bars my entire life.

I'm sitting on my patio enjoy the nice weather and DPW has treated me to a show of two of the garbage men fighting directly behind my house. Perfect morning for the neighborhood busybody.

A fun fact about me is that on Saturday I made my sister play a whole game of Monopoly with me and she's still mad about it. (I destroyed her)

Should I be concerned I asked my sister to stop at the ATM while we’re running errands together and she knew my ATM pin?

I love my parents but not enough to brave the construction on the Rock to go see them.

Ever have the Sunday Scaries but it’s Friday? And work has actually been totally fine all week?

Sometimes I have no choice but to lay on my guest bed and putting my feet up on the ceiling slope and wondering what I’m doing with my life.

The weather’s got me wanting to crawl into bed early but the calendar has it still light outside.

Actually, I don't think I'm going to watch Jeopardy anymore.

I’m trying to be better at documenting and highlighting my crafts, so here’s the baby blanket I finished over the weekend for a friend.

It’s employee engagement survey time, which reminds me of at my last company when I got in trouble for being honest about how unhappy I was on our “anonymous” surveys.

Non-consensual biting as an adult is such a wild attack mechanism.

I yearn for a long road trip and eating at a Cracker Barrel at a weird time of the day, not sure if it's breakfast, lunch, or dinner time, but confident that you will be nauseous for the next three hours of your drive.

I just want to go to a crawfish boil so bad but I’m also so allergic to crawfish 😭

Honestly, bad year for the trees.

No one speak to me.

Watching my nephew on a video monitor is literally the scariest experience of my life. What if I see a ghostly specter enter the frame to pat his back while he slumbers?

You know I show up to my regular haunts looking like shit bc today I showed up in jeans and the bartender said “why so gussied up? You have a court date?”