Jim Jordan begged someone to not rat out the sexual assault that was happening at Ohio State. He was crying on the phone. Groveling. This man threw out all his dignity to try and cover for horrifying crimes of sexual abuse. Think about that for a moment.

Just the president of the United States rationalizing that a Washington Post reporter was basically asking to be murdered and cut to pieces with a bone saw because of his reporting. As he sits next to the thug who ordered it.

ESPN App is having some issues updating on tonight’s Bucks game, and now all the Boomers in this bar are yelling asking WTF this “Peacock” thing is 😂

When asked if there was anything "incriminating" in Epstein's emails, Trump pointed a finger in a female reporter's face and snapped. 'Quiet. Quiet, Piggy.' people.com/donald-trump...

😕

Red and Blue Composition, by Ad Reinhardt, 1941 (flipped), 📸 by Andrew Mordzynski

This is real. A government agency calling Americans performing their democratic right of protest “imbecilic morons.” This Trump regime is a poison and never should have gotten power. A total disgrace.

Trump is opening an "investigation" because that precludes DOJ from being allowed to release the files.

Nothing to see here

These are surely the actions of an innocent man with nothing to hide

STEWART: “Well, funny f*cking story.” 😕

Predictably - the Trump/Republican response to last night won’t be to try to earn more votes, it will be to suppress the vote.

GIANNIS WINS IT AT THE BUZZER!!!

Remember, they're currently arguing that Biden's pardons are illegitimate because he signed the actual forms with an autopen. Trump, meanwhile, repeatedly insists he knows nothing at all about one of his very controversial pardons. Never heard of the guy! Sorta seems like a problem.

Sweet. Easy congressional inquiry in 2027. Who is drafting the pardon paperwork? Who is briefing him before he signs them? What ethics checks are being done before these pardons are being drafted? Is he actually even signing? Are these all auto pen?

The announcers just called Carolina v Green Bay a “fascinating game of Chess”, and I’m pretty sure he meant Checkers

The USDA sent an email to grocery stores telling them they are prohibited from offering special discounts to customers affected by the SNAP funding lapse. I'm aware of at least 2 stores that had offered struggling customers a discount, then withdrew it after receiving this email

Fox News has now changed the headline and completely rewritten the story (without a correction). It makes no sense as a story anymore.

Once again, the Senate, also run by Republicans, remains open. This is solely an effort to protect the pedophiles and sex traffickers in the Epstein Files.

For an administration that ran on the hyperbolic lie that they would fix everything on “Day 1”, they certainly are clinging onto binge-blaming to hide their own incompetence

Love to show how smart I am by bragging about my score on the Montreal Cognitive Assessment.

1. Here are some facts about the guy, Timothy Mellon, who donated $130 million so Trump could pay the troops during the government shutdown. 🧵

Leavitt: "At this moment in time, of course, the ballroom is really the president's main priority."

“Are you asking the DOJ to pay you? How much?" TRUMP: *pretends not to understand the Q 🤷🏼 … says he’ll give it to charity 🤥 … rambles for 2 minutes about how the election was stolen from him 🥸* Endless corruption and greed

Sincerely WTF?

Of the five pals he mentions, the *least evil* one might be O.J. Simpson.

What in the heck are you talking abo--- ok, I get it

The Milwaukee Brewers advance to the NLCS

Trump in 2017: “Qatar has been a funder of terrorism at a very high level.” Trump administration in 2025: We are building a Qatari Air Force facility in the United States.

Qatar gave Trump the luxury 747 that he wanted and now we are LETTING THEM BUILD A MILITARY BASE ON US SOIL

It will soon come ashore looking for the manager.

Every time he does this a calculator somewhere in the country spontaneously bursts into flames

well, that ought to put it to bed, great work everyone

2B. 2B. 2B. Brewers with a triple-double!!!!!!!

American Christians deciding the Pope doesn't know the Bible because he said immigrants are human is the perfect summary of the evangelist movement

GREEN BAY WHAT THE FUCK MAN

Brewers backing their way into the #1 seed, would have liked to see them finish the year strong but time to regroup and get ready to bring a World Series to Milwaukee! #ThisIsMyCrew #Brewers

It's too much liquid

There is no world in which it is normal for the president to publicly call upon his attorney general to hurry up and prosecute his political foes. It’s like the Watergate tapes but posted on social media. Let’s get a grip on what’s happening here.

9-0 SCOTUS ruling from last year: “Government officials cannot attempt to coerce private parties in order to punish or suppress views that the government disfavors.”

Wait, so it isn’t now, huh?

FCC boss Brendan Carr's old tweets resurface after #JimmyKimmelLive was pulled "Political satire is one of the oldest & most important forms of free speech" "It challenges those in power while using humor to draw more people in" "Should the government censor speech it doesn’t like? Of course not"