For 26 but especially 2028 it's time for Democrats to make clear that the current Supreme Court will have to be reformed (expanded in number, reformed in structure) to allow popular govt to continue in the United States. Not so much a litmus test as precondition for any other promise to be credible.

i do not wish for violence, okay. i wish for the president to die from something that is funny

I don't think you need complex political triangulation when the president is shrieking "I am sending in the WAR DEPARTMENT because Portland is AT WAR!" You should just keep saying that he should be removed from office because he is plainly insane

Criminal NYC mayors throughout history: Ed Koch: ran a knockoff handbag ring on Canal Street Abe Beame: hijacked the IRT Fiorello LaGuardia: unnatural acts with a pigeon Fernando Wood: failure to declare that he was walkin’ here Eric Adams: improperly filed bribery paperwork

The most accurate recreation of DS9 I've seen.

In retrospect, it might’ve been a mistake to take a lifelong vow of silence an hour before the big rap battle

why do they call them children, they have like zero chill

First they came for James Comey, and I said lol. Lmao

List 3 things you can talk about for 3 hours without any prep. 1) Star Trek 2) Shakespeare 3) The planets, dwarf planets, and moons of the outer solar system

Just made the 40 Over 40 list of people who have only $40

Not enough casual nudity for my taste

Job Interviewer: Tell me about yourself Me: The ghost of my dead tamagotchi has been haunting me since 1998

Say what you will about James Comey. Sure, he may be a grandstanding scold whose tone-deaf interference catastrophically put Trump in the White House in the first place, but I forget where I was going with this

You guys do yourself a favor and look at what Eric Adams wore to Rosh Hashanah services at the Sephardic Lebanese Congregation

First they came for John Bolton, and I said lol. lmao

To be clear the part of this strategy that really backfired was not throwing the book at Trump after he tried to overturn the election

Ow. OW. Oh no. I’m being Ruptured

I made a comedy sketch about the Rapture the last time it was supposed to happen youtu.be/KX64oL4lC0w?...

can australia let us know if the rapture is happening or not? just wondering if i should bother setting my alarm

can never spell acetopmehftemfphen right on the first try

Subtly downgrade a band: Denting Pumpkins

Technology advance a band Sirius XM Satellite Radiohead

Happy September 21 to all who celebrate youtu.be/_zzEDrYTkkg?...

If Dems don't impeach for the public demand to prosecute the president's enemies, they should all resign.

Bring back 20-24 episode seasons of TV.

It is fucked up what they did to the headphone jack

America is the greatest country in the world. At what, you ask? You're under arrest

Show me a picture from your phone that has your energy. Not a selfie.

We live in a country where the president can order a comedian to be yanked off TV. What I describe is not a democracy.

Welp. Bye bye for a while, Hulu and Disney Plus

Reskeet with your mental state

The following is a statement from the WGA on ABC’s decision to pull ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live!’

THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN IF YOU DIDNT LET VENTURE CAPITAL INTO HOLLYWOOD

anyways rip to charlie kirk, you would have loved seeing every liberal democratic institution bend over backwards to sanitize your seething racism

Tonight at 11:30

Jimmy Kimmel did not revel in Charlie Kirk’s death, nor did he insult the man. His remarks were purely about Trump and GOP’s finger-pointing and the still-muddy motives of the shooter. ABC was cowardly enough to shut down his show anyway. My kingdom for one (1) major studio run by actual artists

My dad is 78 today. Can I get a “happy birthday Dad”

{Mournfully jacking it to photos of Robert Redford}

life, liberty, and the right to talk shit on the internet

I saw goody proctor celebrating charlie kirk’s assassination

Not the obituary I wanted to read this morning

Congratulations fellas, we’ve all moved one spot up on the world’s most handsome man rankings

R.I.P. Robert Redford. Damn.

Larry Tesler, inventor of the cut, copy, and paste commands, dies at 74

The Right wants you to be sad when one of their guys dies, but no, they are not interested in providing higher quality guys

‪Due to a typographical error on the invitation, several thousand Juggalos have gathered in my living room‬

Life hack: don’t

Riker: So how was your leave of absence, Worf? Worf: I killed 5000 Jem'Hadar in close combat and then spent nine months hanging upside down like a bat until I achieved the 9th level of enlightenment- Riker: Great, great. So your shift starts at 0800

I do have to say, Stephen Miller looks to be healing well from his attempt to open the Ark of the Covenant