the hardest part about separating the art from the artist is how i seem to have glued myself to this macaroni picture

Watching a training video on a file program. The narrator has the thickest Delco accent I’ve ever heard. Go Phils

{Stefon voice} New York's hottest club is Mount Sinai Hospital

Dance like your creepy neighbor is watching

‪"Ugh, not again," I think as I'm thrown into an active volcano to appease a bloodthirsty island god‬

Things have really gone downhill in this country ever since I stole that cursed amulet

John Fetterman looks like he’s about to give Odysseus a hard time

Starting a street gang called the Aristocrats

John Fetterman will be a one term senator but that’s only because after 6 years he’ll he forced to hibernate for 100 years and begin his feeding cycle again in the new century

If I had to pick my least favorite thing about 2026, it would probably be how I have to stretch my index finger extra far to reach the “6” key whenever I touch-type the word “2026”

this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to put on a tactical vest and go to the newark airport at 6 am on monday. your order is to wander around like a confused oaf. when a mom drops her sandwich at jersey mike's and scares you, pull out your gun and start shooting. good luck soldier

EVERY STAR TREK SHOULD HAVE 7 SEASONS OF 22 EPISODES EACH GREENLIT AUTOMATICALLY

What Star Trek fans want: -20-episode seasons of shows that run for 7 years What Star Trek fans get: -10-episode seasons -Actually, 6-episode seasons sometimes -Starfleet Academy and Prodigy canceled long before their time -Section 31 movie -Corporate mergers ruining everything always

Racism is so embarrassing. Treating a group of people numbering in the millions as if they were all the same. It's like hating everyone named Jeff

When is the appropriate age to tell your children that they don’t actually exist

Robert Mueller died doing what he loved, utterly failing to hold Trump accountable

I’m such a Miranda, I'm a teenage girl who was raised by a wizard on a magical desert island

Oh hell. R.I.P. Nicholas Brendan.

Look I’m gonna be honest, I’ve been learning Italian and “Zio” means “uncle” and I’m very confused right now

In a Santa Clause situation, the role of Death has been passed on to Chuck Norris

The first rule of Double Negative Club is you do not not talk about Double Negative Club

Dunekirk

I had a vertigo joke but it fell flat

post a gif of who you wanted to be as a kid When I was five I wanted to be He-Man. When I was eight I wanted to *draw* He-Man.

‪Teach a man to fish, and he'll eat for a day. Use the Dark Arts to turn a man into a fish, and he'll be a fish for life‬

{Gently reaching out to disaffected Trump voters} You goddamned assholes

Beware the procrastinators of March

Happy St Patrick’s Day to the leprechaun who tells me to burn things

are you an oil tanker? because you dress like you're trying to pass with the straights

share a random film gif!

‪If you vomit on St. Patrick’s Day you vomit in real life‬

Due to unforeseen circumstances, fight club will be canceled this week. Please don’t spread the word

They’re telling me a great empire will be destroyed if I attack Persia. Even the oracles who don’t like me very much, very nasty, they all said to me, “Sir, it’s one of the great empires, and it’ll be destroyed. And all because you attacked Persia.” That’s what they’re telling me.

Wedge the USS Jenolen in there with its shields up

Beware the idk of March

Don’t you just hate it when you and Doug Jones show up at the Red Carpet in the same prosthetic fish costume

In 44BC it took 60 senators to stab Julius Caesar to death. Crazy to think that nowadays, thanks to modern technology, he could be killed by one senator running him over with a snowplow

Love Is Blind: Mr Roger’s Neighborhood

We’re gonna have to do the Clockwork Orange thing to low information voters from now on

Is not tomorrow, boy, the ides of March?

SHE'S A BRICK {3-hour pause} HOUSE

Happy Pi Day to all the round-shaped people out there

Fun fact: Stephen Hawking wrote "My Humps"

The Strait of Hormuz is open for transit

This is so accurate

This site needs a break. Post 3 good things, none of which are the cessation of a negative. 1. Petting a happy dog 2. The first six or seven Chicago albums 3. Boardwalk-style french fries

You can’t fix my problems, you’re not CHICAGO II (1970)

Andy Richter in the streets, Andy Richter in the sheets

Holly Hunter is so goddamn good as Captain Ake