Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all six of you reading this :)

“Nothing exists in a vacuum.” -me after emptying the Dyson

I truly cannot begin to tell you the volume of perfectly good and great queries and manuscripts I end up passing on as a literary agent. It’s not that I’m not doing my job; it’s that I am one person doing this job.

three wise men... don't see much of that nowadays

400 BC is gonna be my year

I have obtained a couch. I’m in my sitting era. It’s giving seat

meow

Unputdownable.

We have to resist the death cult targeting trans people, not for dumb “first they came for…” reasons, but because trans people deserve not to be targeted by the death cult

I hate this country, I hate this administration, I hate everyone who supports mass murdering children

being trans is not a negative outcome and neither is being autistic

what kind of flat ass conspiracy theory

Reject any motherfucker who tells you we need to abandon a vulnerable population or person. They’re either a fascist or a fascist-in-waiting.

I have a handful more followers on Bluesky than Judy Blume does, though she has never posted and I am a posting gremlin, but like uhhhhh what

no. hope this helps

One time, on my first day of a literary agency internship, one of the agents told me she recognized me from Twitter, and her tone was like a hug while her words were like a threat

I had a truly wonderful conversation with @mburkephd.bsky.social about their book. We talked about everything from Beauvoir, to how anti-trans twist feminism for their own ends, to an ethics of affirming gendered existence. When the world is chaos, this philosophy helped me feel grounded.

I just know Monroe thinks about me when she listens to Paparazzi by Lady Gaga

Got a query for a million-word manuscript. Wow.

Health care is so confusing. What do you mean I need a referral for a lobotomy?

I've been bad about posting on social lately - there's been a lot going on. But I'm still writing news and columns over on @lgbtqnation.com - go check out my latest opinion piece on how trans people are being cynically used as a political bargaining chip.

eBay option to fight the other bidder in the parking lot like gentlemen

No offense to Paul Revere but he would not have had to do all that if he would have simply had the presence of mind to post “The British are coming” on social media

Remember, it's two candles tonight, or 386 candles if you're still on last year's Hanukkah.

Monroe, also known as Monrosie, Monroe Josephine, Monroe Row Row Your Boat, Roeroe, and Ms. Meow, among other known pseudonyms

I’m gonna keep on dancin’ at the Grink Pony Club

I have acquired brownies. Haters weep in the streets. Nonbelievers and naysayers are in a frenzy. Me? I am eating brownies

Just read three queries at random. The first had the salutation “Dear Agent.” The second was addressed to Erin. The third referenced my work at an agency I’ve never worked with before. Always triple-check these things, writers!

Let me be clear: lmao

The fact that women audiences make queer media more financially viable is a reason to say "thanks, women," not to get mad about it (also I haven't watched the show yet but I'm pretty sure half my timeline right now is gay men foaming at the mouth about these actors' butts)

Broke: discourse Bespoke: this horse

Pretty much always could go for onion rings

I would like it very much if people could please stop calling our administration “psychotic” people experiencing psychosis are generally MUCH nicer & far less dangerous than this administration It hurts some of my favorite people’s feelings &/or is unfair to them thank you in advance 🫶🏻

Everyone seemingly in the world seems to have thought of that bad “what if Dr Pepper is a woman, you sexists” joke, yet none of you have the mental and moral fortitude to posit: What if Dr Pepper is nonbinary?

Wikipedia’s constant recurring financial crisis is almost a lil too relatable

a new jersey-based christmas tree delivery service called Spruce Bringsteen

Today on the menu we have: biscuits

Asking a querying writer for a full manuscript is so fun. I get the chance to (possibly) make someone’s day by pointing out that they’re good at this and their work has merit and I’d like to read it. As an agent, I’m always reading my queries and pages and manuscripts hoping it’s a yes from me! :)

bro do you even exhibit awe and wonder at the world? do you have whimsy bro?

Cyber Monday is here and deals are going fast! These deals are diaphanous. They are receding even as we speak, becoming mere memories of deals, prices longed for but lost, hints at what could have been had for less. A golden slant of sun through window falls on an empty countertop. Act now.

This is a Wham!-centric feed now

“A face on a lover with a fire in his heart / A man undercover, but you tore me apart” fuckin SLAPS

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, you listed it on Facebook Marketplace

Dress for the job you want (Bog Witch) not the job you have (Regular Witch)

happy birthday, dinner

You just know Peppermint Patty grew up to run a gay bar like the navy

Sending Miss Piggy a cold email like “do you have a book?”