Remember folks, if buying isn’t ownership, piracy isn’t theft.

"Sir.... A second goose has gained literacy."

Me going through all the work emails plaguing my inbox.

They're going to accuse us of being radical gay socialists hellbent on legalizing everything fun. We might as well lean into it and do it.

"Just NEGOTIATE with the Nazis, that always works out."

"I hear you're sending me a seventh prime minister"

Tomorrow, all dads are 50% off

Looking at you, @github.com

Happy Father's Day!

Watching the World Cup

Margaret Cho's performance alone is worth the price of admission

I started packing beta blockers in my ear plugs case and I've never felt like such a planner.

I love our lawless bastion of homosexuals

think of the ratings for fascist tribunals!!!

I'd like to propose a new concept: are you a federal officer in violation of a court order? Fuck jail time, we'll be harvesting your organs.

Ru Paul at production meetings:

Working on an idea for corporate merch

Really can't wait to see the 2x leveraged short funds waiting for SPCX to collapse. This valuation and reality are further apart than any SpaceX rocket could reach.

Completely forgot to celebrate the one year anniversary of this momentous occasion

My boy, he is ever so sleepy

Coming this fall: Ryan Murphy's Baz Luhrmann's "Hamlet" available exclusively in Dolby Atmos BetaMax

Oh right, going for a run makes you feel better. Why do I keep forgetting this?

We're about thirty minutes into watching the second Jurassic Park and it's possible this movie is a giant flaming turd. It's a long shot, but I really hope it gets that good.

Party like it's 1929, 1987, and 2008 all at once.

hyperspecific backrooms review: parts of this movie are less scary if you are very familiar with San Jose, California

Y'all, I'm so tired

Pride Month when I was working at one of the Big 4.

The Bond game would be so much cooler if he was in charge of rebuilding an island full of Pokémon.

I looked at this and had to put my phone away because it was overstimulating and I live in the bottom left

Sunday morning cat dad vibes

Hey Duolingo, maybe calm this graphic down a bit

Vivacious on the runway

Just watched "Backrooms" I would like to remind everyone that Valve is not a licensed architect.

Y'all, I'm gonna miss Hacks so much. 😭😭😭

I tried watching an episode of Brickleberry and I'm pretty certain D*niel T*sh was singlehandedly responsible for the collapse of Comedy Central.

Wrong. Tina Peters is quite literally a domestic enemy who actively threatened our democracy. That isn't hyperbole, it's a legal fact. These Nazis need to understand that lifetime prison sentences are the **nicest** accommodation they'll be provided.

Today @camcron.bsky.social and I are lunching at The Cheesecake Factory (un)ironically

Re: Israel still being in Eurovision (Australia can stay, they're cool)

I know people are joking about it because it would drive racist men crazy but Lupita Nyong'o as Bond is one of the few casting choices that would actually get me excited about a 007 movie

Hey! You probably haven't seen my cat yet today. Let's fix that.

2026

The way we are all Cole Escola’s pay pigs 😭

If you are in your late thirties to mid-forties right now, there is a good chance that you have spent most of your life in a cycle of making some sort of home on the internet only to have it crumble beneath you like chalk and having to start over.

This looks like Quark is on Jerry Springer and is about to find out if he's the father