I would never say he should be drawn and quartered for this. That's something I wouldn't say.

Disappointing yet wretchedly unsurprising given the whole pivot to ai ostad tried and failed doing a couple years ago. Archive dot org has back ups sans ai but it's difficult reminiscing while knowing the artist became a shill.

Lego to re-release Bionicle with the tagline "you can fuck the Bionicle now"

My great uncle Earnest used to do this magic trick where he would get drafted into the War and come back a hollow man with debilitating ulcers that slowly killed him. We'd all hoot and clap with delight, he nailed it every time.

I've been told that my "being nice to service worker" voice sounds like a "flirting with service worker" voice, so to ensure I'm not misunderstood, i always loudly announce while I'm line for coffee that I'm devoted to my wife and that i legally had my cock chopped off by a doctor. Works every time.

opening up a journal in a survival horror game and it contains "well i got a journal for my birthday" page 1, "ugh fuck what to write" page 2, rouge the bat with her tits out page 3, parody lyrics of mr. brightside if it was about sucking dick page 4, another tits out rouge page 5, and that's it

I got teary eyed while explaining to my partner how cool the "Down With the Sickness" needledrop is in the movie The One with Jet Li, so i guess that's how i know the estrogen is working

from hell's heart, i jack off and take a nap

after a quick review of my timeline i feel the need to point to the sign

The eggheads down in the lab are saying that the y-axis on the graph can't go any higher, and yet

But shall this crazed old man be tamely suffered to drag a whole ship’s company down to doom with him?

I guess boycotting Harry Potter feels pretty trivial to me, because I'm an adult. if someone told me I shouldn't eat Gerber's baby food, I'd be like, that is no problem. I'm way ahead of you

Yarr! Do the seadogs of yer ship split thar booty equally, or do ye make yer sailors' alimony obligations part o' the shares?

The West Passage (2024)

If a transformer fucks a normal car, is that like bestiality or is it like their version of a fleshlight?

My biodegradeable cockring didn't last a second in my Everlasting Mulch Pile

I hate teslas so much. Always recording video on all sides. Now i gotta park around the block because i don't want to be recorded by your pervertmobile while I'm eating my tin of sardines in my car on my lunch break.

This War Will Destabilize The Entire Mideast Region And Set Off A Global Shockwave Of Anti-Americanism vs. No It Won’t

They need to make an emoji holding a huge joint in its big toothy grin

im going to be honest kitten the fascist administrative state is kind of hyperfocused on mommy right now and it's stressing her out a little bit

If you kids can't keep your hands to yourselves, I'm gonna turn this car around and there will be no Cape Canaveral for anybody! *smack* That's it! Back to Winnipeg!!!

Every billionaire in the Epstein files could drop dead tomorrow and the world would not only be fine, it would actually improve. The quality of our media would improve. Our environment. Our food. Our health care. Our technology.

Wilhelm Schulz, 1920

Dick like a newton's cradle, make the pussy go clack

His eyes are hollow The hour is late This Kong is A slave to fate

Why is almost every robust healthy boy with a robust healthy soul in him, at some time or other crazy to go to sea?

Cures what ails ya!

T H E C O M M U N I C A T O R S

why is it called that

i have just gotten off a productive call with sauron where i laid out our requests - nazgul bodycams - morgul knife must remain sheathed unless suspect is determined to be carrying the one ring - shelob will be the new point of contact

Whoopsie daisy! Nothing to be done i guess!

I got banned from competing on Jeopardy! after Ken Jennings himself found out that i had all the entrance exam questions inscribed on my hideous and foul dong.

"Remember: one cannot be the King Arthur of Cuckholds because King Arthur himself already bears that 'crown,' so to speak. One must distinguish himself among his betrayed brethren!" - From the Book of Cuckholds, Ch. 87: On Finding the Cuckhold's Calling

The thousand-sweater dowry to my lord-husband Fhthshp, High King of Mothland, was waylaid upon the road to his leafy castle by bandits of the Fungal Companies. His Grace, displeased that my father had not sent better caravan guards, has intimated at a dark punishment for our house and its retainers

My biodegradeable cockring didn't last a second in my Everlasting Mulch Pile

RT if you've never had a tab of ChatGPT open 'just to do quick research'

I'm handling their tits like the head judge at a cat show explaining their choice for best-in-show

if you are talking today about how bad maduro was and were alive, at all, during the run-up to the iraq war you are potentially the dumbest person to ever live

Hate it when I wake up in a wider gyre than the one I went to sleep in

Poisoning his royal highness must go hard af if you're the scheming grand vizier.

Tell her you had a nice time by belching after eating her pussy

in the director's cut of Home Alone, uncle Frank says, "look what you did, you little cunt." That's the only difference

For about ten years I've thought about what a Tom Waits TV Christmas special produced in the early 80s would have been like. It's almost real to me. The set is a Depression-era shack he built and a stream of celebrity hobos keep knocking on the door and Tom goes "I wOnDEr WHo tHaT cOuLd bE"

Tell her you had a nice time by belching after eating her pussy

So do you wipe your balls front to back or back to front?

They call me bram by the way i am stokering