straight up nullging it. and by it. let's just say. my lack of penis

the 5 star rating system should be systematically abolished

i need a haircut, a blowjob, a cigarette, and a bullet to the back of the head. in no particular order

i continue to do these things

attending a pension board meeting and the guy speaking asked chatgpt about some pension funding stuff

i am the most famous person in human history

BULLSHIT

By your 30s, you should develop at least one kink you feel uncomfortable posting

dictating the following post to my phone while im driving: "need to fuck a sweaty tboy expeditiously"

boyfriend of one of my least favorite dancers was at my dance thing tonight

Stairs

the jets aren't the only things lagging

never really been one for fanfiction so I find it interesting that, structurally, fanfiction is able to cleanly avoid the vast majority of exposition

you could eat a piece of pizza, the famous and popular food

Hero calls the villain's henchperson their "lapdog"; villain gets annoyed at the lack of precision, starts lecturing the hero about different working dog roles and constructing complex parallels for what specific kind of working dog the henchperson would be in the analogy the hero has introduced.

BOOKPOSTING: THE DOORS SELDOM OPENED: A DELTARUNE ANTHOLOGY

shes peeling some gender rn

opening tumblr at the will wood concert so they know im one of them, in my casual business attire

ME, IN TEARS: you can't just say every single part of a computer system is a file UNIX, POINTING AT THE MOUSE: file

don't tell me the truth but please don't ever lie to me

finally.... a new book of esoteric short fiction with a title which spoonerizes a common word

Big Secret ethan Project is coming to a gradual conclusion which of course means that the number of tabs involved is exploding exponentially

Hornet is now an unlockable character in mario golf 🏌️‍♀️

guy who explains the rules to american football in the exact way you explain the rules to a complicated board game

football (american) is an autochess like

who are the most misgendered characters in all of fiction

tactically misgendering a magic card in my hand to misinform my opponent

tom lehrer is the original nerdcore artist

sometimes you learn someone is nonbinary that you weren't expecting even remotely (niche nerdcore artist you listen to approximately once a year)

The best of the best return. Watch Jet Lag: All Stars on Nebula Sept. 17.

i just miss it is all

Sorry, not sorry, not going to care about Charlie Kirk because I grew up with an alcoholic, psychologically abusive father in constant state of distress, anxiety and worry about the future. Hearing the key in the door every evening was my own "Charlie Kirk" for almost 20 years.

uh oh thinking abt deadlock all the time now

what an amazing birthday gift 🙏🏼😌 # blessed

are we sure he was even shot? maybe his blood got sick of being stuck inside a bigot

deadlock is real good

talking to a phone pollster: i think the number one issue facing america is that our cities arent fuckable enough

i am the only person on the entire website to ever say "buildingfucker"

3. If you see content that disturbs you, immediately (or as fast as possible) go and play 20-30 minutes of Tetris (or any other fast-paced game with your eyes sweeping over the visual field that has caused visual artifacts to linger when you close your eyes for you in the past).

been shopping around for apartments and briefly forgot that the people who text me to schedule tours and shit aren't literally the apartment buildings themselves

Vaxxed????

It’s gonna be so weird watching establishment dems be performatively sadder about this than they were about the colleague and her husband and dog who got shot and killed

no offends if this is you but if you're thinking "this is going to make the right do fascism" they're already there. they blew up a boat with 11 people on it for being immigrants. they're kidnapping US citizens and trying to rendition them to Uganda. do you think we're on a trajectory to peace

"I think it's worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment to protect our other God-given rights" - Charlie Kirk, 2023 www.mediamatters.org/charlie-kirk...

charlie kirk got shot? hells yeah

hollow knight implies boston cream filled knight

Everyone knows a onion ring is equivalent to a onion mug