www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5Iz... This is sublime

Pick a Bond villain from the pictures you have already on your phone.

My little team of 3 had it so good in our old office. Day 2 in the main office (full of people) and I've got the social anxiety blues. I no longer have the luxury of ignoring it while I'm at work.

When you're test driving a car and press a button to see what it does.

Peacock Spider (genus Maratus), a group of tiny Australian jumping spiders famous for their vibrant colours and elaborate courtship dances to attract its mate. They are very tiny in size only between 2-5 millimetres ( the size of a pea)

Hobart Tigers (coached by Allen Christensen) started the day with 1.10, couldn't get out of their own way. But battled on to run out on top. Hobart 17.17.119 d New Norfolk 15.16.106 in SFL Community League.

Go Tiges!

Drop a man and a doz seagulls behind the ball ‬ #AFLTigersDons

Steely Green is half blue, looks like he's in Avatar ‬ #AFLTigersDons

Shane Edwards in the crowd with Keir Starmer? #AFLTigersDons

Big day tomorrow....

KAT WON. FUCK ICE.

this is the most millennial dad joke ever conceived

Got locked in a servo toilet on the outskirts of Cairns this morning on my way to the airport. So I can cross that one off the bucket list.

Queensland things: cthulu taps.

I call them speed bumps, in NZ they are judder bars and I've just learned here in Queensland they are rumble strips. What else have we got? Whoopsy humps? Chip-a-tooth zones?

I was the first person to ever fall asleep during the 3pm Crocodile Attack Show

My sister has lived in FNQ for five years and no longer knows what dry washing is.

I love the heck out of Map Tap. If you have a go at it, make time to read the screeds at the end, they're excellent and uplifting. maptap.gg

I have seen more appealing fights in car parks #AFLSaintsTigers

Coincidentally, this bloke is also called Aub

hey john. its your cousin marvin. marvin cage! you know that new sound youve been looking for? well listen to this *hangs up phone*

Great photos from footy history books #107

What makes Pendles so special? Nathan Buckley: "his emotional regulation" There you have it, nothing drags the punters through the gates like emotional regulation.

I am in Queensland. They said it would never happen.

Knife to speak with you. Let's catch up again spoon.

Nah I didn't get his name, just call him Bob Conkey or something, fuck it

I've never heard of this bloke but he's hilarious! Topical comedy is back babeh

Today I learned that “pikelets” are only a thing in Australia and New Zealand. Also, a “pikelet” was a crumpet, not a pancake. Knowledge is my curse.

britishfasteners.com is your one stop shop for double entendres

No snuggling

These are all real British motorcycle manufacturers except the one I made up • Brough Superior • Grindlay Peerless • Alldays & Onions • Abingdon King Dick • Walker Weasel • OK-Supreme • Corgi

The care the butcher put into cutting my steaks is inversely promotional to the care I put into scorching the crap out of them. Mark must never know of this.

I still love the theory a Year 6 child proposed to me that David Attenborough is actually God and he got fed up with people not noticing the amazing things he'd created, so he made documentaries to show off.

Off: Apostolos Stamatelopoulos On: Pat Wood #SYDvNEW #ALeague

No one is talking about the weird gel that lives in the green tops of spring onions.

It is 1975. Dudes are all asking each other just one question. Scaramouche scaramouche; will you do the fandango?

24yo is visiting and working from home. His software is playing a cow sound effect every minute or so (because bauxite is underpriced or something). Meanwhile upstairs Ruby the cat wants to go outside. MwwAH . . Miaoooooooooow . . . . . MwwAH Miaow. Miaoooooooooow . . MwwA… MIAOWWW

For Mothers Day, I wrote a Stereo Story in which my mum features

RIP freud. you would’ve loved whatever this is.

New British insults just dropped

If you rhythmically shake a small tin of coconut milk, it sounds just like the start of Heart of Glass

Wyndham,WA has a very small airport

Tuesday: you realise you don't know really know where Angola is

*Richard Clapton voice* Cats on the internet…

For various reasons I had a chocolate free birthday which rolled into a no-choc Easter. I put aside all I was given and promised myself I'd not touch it until Richmond notched a win. It was a sweeeeet victory on Saturday.

A lot of people in the media are acting like they’ve got a free pass to associate whoever they want with the Bondi massacre and I feel like it should go a little less unobserved