i am a fucking zero

you are part of a race of 1.5 inch tall human beings. you file into a stadium to watch puppy dogs larger than a city bus tussle around and rough house for hours. it is the most exciting night of your entire life

no no you misunderstood, i said *tectonic* knights, we stand around wearing rock plates and occasionally sink below the surface

Yeah

ugh what a horrible series of nightmares

Dialogues from the bus that carried Ukrainians released from captivity – reporters. I am crying, I can’t imagine how much they suffered in russian captivity.

Ideally, private cars would all run on some form of renewables, but in the interim I'm going to have to insist that car manufacturers that claim to produce luxury vehicles must absolutely not be allowed to make them diesels. "Oh, that's a nice Audi-" [tractor noises] "-oh dear!"

Guile... Guinan... Guilenan

Clapping my flippers together and honking like a harbor seal when a Super Bowl ad for a condiment or gambling app featuring two celebrities unexpectedly reveals a third celebrity as its punchline. Bouncing a ball around on my snout. My wife has to throw me a herring to get me to calm down.

potbelly is the new quizno's (derogatory), jersey mike's is the new subway (complimentary), firehouse subs is the new blimpie (derogatory)

My prayers are answered -- but shouldn't they be *pink?*

Daily bunny no.3221 is a night owl

Thank, @metriccaboose.bsky.social for the inspiring phrase, “pocket wife.” #handsizedmaids #furry #art

C'est La Vie//

Yall have to see this slide

Being a furry fucking rules

chust fund

going through some old photos and found this from years ago that i took in richmond. what a building!

when I am king, the purveyors of this scam will be treated so inhumanely it will make the realm a pariah state for ten thousand years

god my life is meaningless

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Dorothea Lange. Kern County, California (1938)

Sleepy Chip #petrats

king of the hill lucasarts adventure game

the only kind of three cueing i want to hear about involves brisket, ribs, and pulled pork on the same plate

[homestar runner voice] tommy talawico

bunch of guys hooting and hollering as they securely tie off their boat to the mooring cleats dudes dock

molybdenum guysulfide

one molecule of bird

hurf durf blurf buhh

wimd turbime

After a lengthy appeals process and productive discussion with the Blue Sky safety team I will no loinger be sending George Thorogood lyrics to beautiful women on here via DM. Thank you all

ugh

My good Lords and Ladies, Sir Biceps of Gunshow.

First post on this account, here my spaceship 🙂

oh subway you were so perfectly scrungy ❤️ [ #art / #rats / #sillyhours ]

a cool thing about being a 38 year old who's playing minecraft again for the first time in many years is I can text my brother to ask my nephew what the fuck is going on in this game

I must not engage in discourse. Discourse is the vibe-killer. I will face the discourse. I will permit it to pass over me and around me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the discourse has gone there will be nothing. Only vibe will remain.

i fucking hate Republicans

bleated rivalry

"Hey everyone the peanut lady is here!" -Tufted Titmouse

Timeline cleanse because moss is pretty.

microwife oven, so she can bake her tiny cakes

My daughter is very photogenic