divine retribution

so you're a New Yorker and you went to New York and expected the escalators to work

even as we're speaking calmly to each other right now, very white people are drinking beer and eating sausages to excess

meanwhile i'm giving the amazon homepage a serious look and all these product thumbnails are unpleasantly hallucinatory. i don't know who goes here and is filled with the urge to buy things, unless they believe it'll appease the elder gods and send them back to their own dimension

so explain to me again why smartphones need three cameras in them now

and are they going to do a big shindig for the 2000th anniversary of Easter? tall ships with the shroud of Turin for sails, the Pope wearing cheap plastic '2000' glasses like they had at the millennium, etc

why don't they put on a fireworks display for 9-11

I *like* Christian end times predictions... they remind me of how full of shit the rest of it is

NO REFUNDS

☀️Specks of Sunlight☀️ Drawn a few years back when I was considering another design/name.

Overwrought. It's Naoki, my OC.

in my daydreams the rapture happens and none of the smug asshole jesus freaks who said i was going to hell for liking iron maiden get taken up, none. the horn blows and they're still standing there like dopes and I'm like 'what now, fucko'

ABC/Disney blinked. but what most people don't realize is that they blinked the first time. Putting Kimmel back on was just them staying true to type. you can beat these corporations like a piñata if you get sufficient momentum. so weird that the guys with all the money in the world are such cowards

I know I should feel privileged to have a front row seat to the collapse of our civilization, but I would have preferred getting nuked in the 80s, so I could have left a young, stylish, sexually active corpse

Normalize telling conservatives to eat shit and fuck off

fucked up-- now you're cum

shhh, nobody remind Kerry King that Slayer used to wear eyeliner

it's just not the same on digital media. back in the day my tape player ate my copy of Killing Is My Business; I rescued it but thereafter the last several seconds of Mechanix warbled out and I still anticipate hearing it that way "YeaaaHGHLRBLGGBLRBRRBLrrbl"

rattle thine gosh darn head

[from the depths of the ladies' room] don't you know that shitting is my business [sotto voce] and business is gooood

Show [they] a picture from [ye] phone that has [thine] energy. Not a [yo face].

has he tried being 97% less of a cunt

i literally don't have any of their shit, unless you count the two seasons of Andor I stole

you think you're about to sleep with a magician but he's just a guy with birds and rodents in his pockets

oh I sure will, I'll pray the fuck out of shit

I can't even do this anymore

'customers' who are 'loyal' to your brand but who never actually buy anything

aaaanyway. everyone in the 'biz' knows this isn't about being woke, it's about not being beholden to a customer base of seniors who are dying off

"I am not crazy! I know Cracker Barrel's got the woke mind virus! I just couldn't prove it! he got that ad agency to cover for him! oh, but not our Herschel! Couldn't be precious Uncle Herschel! did you know he defecated onto a checkerboard?! and I saved him!"

will the bot who advised you to mix glue in with your eggs evoke as much nostalgia as the Pets dot com puppet? time will tell-- no

Sam Altman wearing a barrel made out of graphics cards

Remember to keep calling Cards, paypros and banks! We can do this bit we need to keep the pressure up!

Who, me? Couldn't be. There's a new comic page of THE SCANDALOUS SYBIL THROAT live for subscribers on https://patreon.com/distressedegg !

Hey y'all! It's @sunnygator.bsky.social !! She's streamin' on twitch right now to do a lil fundraiser to help get her car back up n' running! 🐊🚗 www.twitch.tv/sunnythegator / ko-fi.com/sunnythegator

finished Guards! Guards, now reading Mort. in getting through Pratchett's catalogue i'm torn between 'jesus, stop being so cutesy' and 'hey this is actually quite a good story'

(flipping through Bon Appetit) look at these bitches trying to call a torte a terrine

also hey remember: Emails may not be effective against paypros but here's confirmation they ARE against legislators! so any wall flowers out there whose nerves are burnt out from making phone calls, sending physical/digital mail is a great option! EVERYONE has the capacity to do SOMETHING

project idea: stealth write an epistolary novel in the alt text of a series of photos

not EVERY wizard's favorite week, Lego. I doubt Gandalf gives two shits and a fuck about it

It's the spooder . Process Timelapse

NEW SKETCH THEME POLL! Who was the first fictional character you crushed on? How did they shape who you are today? If given the chance, would you still tap that? RESPONSES ARE ANONYMOUS. SUBSCRIBE AT THE $5 LEVEL AND TELL YOUR STORY www.patreon.com/posts/136873...

Now Available on Gumroad again - Beefe Ratte, V2. Updated to support modern VRChat shenanigans and includes optional Face tracking, hue sliders, and more. Become the big rat who makes all the rules! uniformvixen.gumroad.com/l/beeferatteV2

influencer culture is inextricably tied to using your RL identity online. if your avatar is a picture of a cat and your username is 'KittyMeow1000' and nobody's ever known who you are in real life, it's not all that important you be seen to be wearing the latest up-to-the-minute fashions, now is it

'blabbing at unwanted length is the province of bots and Americans'

in my high school social outcast days I had friends who read hard science fiction because it was gee-whiz neato but who weren't intelligent enough to grasp the theory behind the technologies depicted. Sam Altman could have been one of them.

we must have known civilization was heading for collapse when they made Jimmy Fallon the host of the Tonight Show. it isn't far off from making a horse a senator

I'm gonna put these characters up for adopts soon, I'd rather someone else have more joy for them! Both have a bit of art, tho Tramondo's I have to scan in.

EU folks, make sure this is on your radar!

once I called Sam Altman 'possibly the stupidest man in tech' and worried I was being hyperbolic. No, past me, you weren't

#SaveSpeech its the work week, so remember to contact your US representatives! Tell them to OPPOSE the following bills: Kids Online Safety Act (s.1748) Interstate Obscenity Definition Act (s.1671) SCREEN Act (s.737) FADPA (H.R.791) ACPA Block BEARD Act www.congress.gov/members/find...