If I ever say "with all due respect" to someone, there's a pretty decent chance I don't respect them and also probably hate their guts

Blender is such a cool computer program until a motherfucker is looking stone cold down the barrel of a six hour render time on a ten second animation

I call him Hagar The Regular, that's how fucked up I am

Guillermo del Toro's Frankenstein is all about ruining a guy's life by teaching him catholicism

Picked my dog up from my sister's house, and she put him in a Seinfeld crewneck??

Not quite there guys, but A for effort

Vice president Richard Bruce Cheney, primary architect of the American invasion of Iraq, taught me it was ok to be weird 💔 Rest in power good buddy

It's so cool how Inside Llewyn Davis looks like a PS3 game

Round 2!

Can you watch Him while I go smoke?

Ah uh... just one more thing...

Going to pull the impossible maneuver of leaving the house before trick-or-treaters mob me and also not getting stuck in rush hour traffic but also having my costume on

It remains super funny that the Fall Out Boy song that uses the Munsters music is all about Uma Thurman because they heard the sample and thought it was the Pulp Fiction music, so wrote a bunch of lyrics about Pulp Fiction

cop: did he send any texts around the time of the crash? cop 2: he sent a post that reads “padding my three track album with 26 skits and interludes” cop: not bad but it ain’t going viral cop 2: posting isn’t just about going viral cop: (sighs) not this shit again

It's so interesting how Insidious has the same problem as Saw in that it killed off its most compelling character WAY too early and then spent most of the rest of the series with increasingly convoluted prequels to fit them back in

Man Always Gets Sick Little Rush Out of Voting For Every Local Ballot Measure to Release Bonds for Funding Local Infrastructure Projects Except for the Ones That Mention the Police

poo is the piss of the ass, but tears are the poo of the eyes. Not sure what sweat is, I'm not a scientist

Been walking around all morning going "I'm sooo fwreakin scawred of halloween you guys. On halloween the gobalins are gonna put me down in the stwreet like a goddamn dog. I'm not ready to fuckin die on halloweeeen"

My favorite james bond movie is uhhh... Snowpiercer. My favorite james bond movie is uhhhh... Bloodpussy

Heartbreaking: I bought some ground wagyu as an experiment and the resulting smash burger was fucking awesome :/

Living in America means they're going to replace the peanut butter in those peanut butter stuffed pretzels you like with worse and worse peanut butter every year for the rest of your life, and no politician will ever do anything about it

Dude this celery is so freakin chopped. It's never been more over for these carrots, they're so friggin chopped

You think Frankenstein was the real monster. I would at least consider the reanimated corpse who kept killing people

Kylo Ren Jepsen

day and night the lonely stoner seems to borat voice my wife

might be one of the funniest videos i’ve ever seen

We’ve already seen quite a few examples of ICE agents trying to kidnap someone and eventually giving up and running away because a crowd had gathered and shouted them down. That’s EFFECTIVE.

Twitter reply- GroguHimmler1488 (anime girl pfp): i asked ai to measure your skull and it says u have ethnic voting patterns Bluesky reply- GenXResistanceDad (default pfp, doesn't know how to change it): joe biden has suffered more than christ at the hands of leftists like obama

Had a dream that there was a new season of Euphoria that was quietly an adaptation of Oh These Those Stars of Space. I had to explain who Groomda is to people. "You see all those CGI tentacles? Jacob Elordi is fucking that squid guy"

30+ years of the simpsons means they ran out of Halloween puns 20 years ago. This treehouse of horror just credited Julie Kavner as "Pumpkin Kavner"

It is extremely funny to imagine a AAA art director in 2025 yelling and screaming "This is the future, isn't it?? Make it shiny!! Make it shiny!!!"

Christian Slater is what they call the guy who holds the clapper board on the set of passion of the christ

“Now go to sleep, Kevin—or once again I’ll have to knock three times and summon the Floating Head of Death.”

Everyone is forming an angry mob yelling "justice for Steven Soderbergh! We want Ben Solo!" And David Fincher wearing a big fake mustache and sunglasses shuffles in and yells "yeah and also David Fincher's thing!"

Discovering the fun way that my 30 year old knee cartilage loves when I ride a bike for the first time in years. My femur and my tibia are becoming close friends 🧡

David Sims on the main feed: "Naughty children must be sent TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE. There shall be NO BITS on this podcast!" David Sims on the patreon feed:

I’ve been thinking about how hard the founding fathers cooked with the Third Amendment. Imagine being forced to house ICE. I can’t imagine they wash their hands. They’ve never done laundry in their lives. They’d break your stuff if you didn’t cut the crusts off their sandwiches.

Idk there's an awful lot to care about right now, so I'm honestly having a hard time caring about how he's destroying the white house or whatever. Idk, that one doesn't affect me either way! Do people care about the white house? Am I wrong?

New Zealand 90s kid: "My favorite movie is Space Jim"

UNLOCKED! On the eve of the release of Oh These, Those Stars of Space's landmark 100th episode, we're freeing our 99th episode from behind the paywall. Enjoy!

If you're having a rough day you've gotta remember that theres a man who lives in your phone and if you push a button, twenty dollars vanish from your bank account but he puts a huge burrito on your front porch

Everybody is mad at me because I acquired warner brothers discovery for an undisclosed sum (seventy eight dollars)

I've just noticed that Soderbergh has presumably never seen Rise of Skywalker LMFAO

Soderbergh Star Wars EXT. THE STREETS OF NABOO *handheld camera, natural light* KYLO: Man, it's not- It's not that I went "missing" per se. It's just, the logistics, the fucking- ZOE KRAVITZ ALIEN: Beurocracy? K: Yes! LUIS GUZMÁN PUPPET: Hey any o' youse guys order the green milk

I looked into the alternate timeline where Sodey made a smart and tightly crafted star wars movie only to get crucified by virgins because it doesn't involve obscure prequel jedis or characters from childrens' cartoons. Then every movie he makes for the next 20 years gets review-bombed on IMDB

Honey Somebody Shrunk The Kids But Honestly I Don't Think Playing The Blame Game Is The Appropriate Thing To Do Right Now If I'm Being Honest

Why are all these film industry websites announcing that colman domingo is a "wicked and cowardly liar"