No I will not agree to your new terms of service TikTok. Fuck you.

“Cozy Game”

Man I’m tired. I hope I didn’t make any plans this weekend that I don’t remember👀

Trap Bunny Bubbles is Rico Nastys Wario. I don’t have anyone to talk to about this lol

My colleagues bought me a blueberry cake for my birthday. My kids threw me a hitch hikers guide themed party because I turned 42. My brother threw his wife and I a party since our birthdays are 12 hours apart. My nephew in law got me flowers. What a birthday!

No but why did they say it like that lol

i put my jorts on like everyone else, one jeg at a time

Im so tired my contact lenses feel funny

This trail mix I put together is like 90% chocolate covered espresso beans.

Bathroom is just down the hall, second door on the left, up the spiral staircase, over the battlements, down the abandoned mine shaft, across the swamp and through the sacred waterfall. Toilet paper is on the roof

Busy enough to not be bothered by my colleagues but not so busy that I’m getting the stress hiccups.

Someone bought me flowers at work❤️

Keep making art, my friends. Write, draw, paint, sing, play. And keep enjoying the art of others. Indulge in things that bring you joy. It's how you survive and it's what makes fighting so important. Fight as much as you can, but don't forsake joy.

Listen I still ope ope ope for this very reason.

See I want to talk shit about the delivery… but…

I would walk into the ocean over this lol

“Say Drake…😁😁😁”

I told my colleague that I was having trouble sleeping and she bought me a box of sleepy tea. 😭

the alamo? i forgot that shit on PURPOSE

I need to get back into my hobbies this world is so stressful

Already seething

Jaz turner. She’s aspirational.

Shaking hands. Why are we still doing this. Let me touch on ya real quick. Check for a dagger before we chat.

Make a list of things you want to do and then do them. You start trusting yourself more.

Young girlhood going into adolescence. Especially when you look back at it as an adult and realize how many times someone casually tried to make a victim out of you.

This but a law and order marathon.

The new interview with the vampire. 10/10 casting

That my parents were just people going through experiences for the first time like everyone else. Harder to criticize them when i thought about this

Raise the minimum wage. More people could afford life. Which would stimulate the economy, which would make companies have to compete with lower prices

Political discourse. We are living in very predictable times my friends.

Haagen das chocolate, any cookies and cream and sherbet

I think I’m going to just avoid the news today.

interviewer: how are your listening skills? me: absolutely

I just saw a yodeling dominatrix on the news this morning. So that just set the bar for today

me: this is my son, Ribert them: oh Robert? me: ◡̈ no

Would you like to try our ayahuasca riblets?

Holy shit I’m sorry.

I bite.

Okay I need the funny people starter pack. Who are you guys’ funny favorites over here?

Einstein was all "time works differently in different places at different speeds" and like no shit Sherlock I've been to church

It’s Girl Scout season. These little shake down artists are about to take all my money.

I messed with everybody.

Why are we like this lol

Im trying to determine what kind of content I want to post here. Books? Art? Digital planning? Shit posting?

And brace for the next wave of blue sky people in the next few weeks. And that’s a good thing too

Came to the office on Christmas Eve and it look like one of those pandemic movies where it’s all abandoned and scary

I knew there was something unemployable and bitchless about you.

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt? You’re under arrest for fraud

This is where I’m plotting your downfall