Freedom Squirts

Haven't had a cigarette in 3 weeks. I'm leaning pretty hard on the nicotine vape, but one step at a time.

New girl at work is wearing slippers on the sales floor. Gotta love retail.

“we have to be able to commit war crimes to win wars” is the type of thing a 16-year-old dumbass says and — well, yeah, hegseth is basically a 16-year-old dumbass

The fact that spineless Dems haven't been calling for this, or fucking literally ANYTHING ELSE, astonishes me more by the goddamn day.

The amount of unhinged, blathering bullshit I see people spew on LinkedIn, where, generally speaking, you may be looking to grow a business or expand your network of professionals, is absolutely unhinged. Nobody wants to work with insanity and dumbassery. It's supposed to be professional, right?

Somebody invite me on their podcast so we can chat. Just us dudes

They say that every cigarette shortens your life by 11 minutes. What they don't tell you is that if you smoke a cigarette within the last ten minutes of your life, you'll trigger an integer overflow and roll over to the maximum value (999 years).

He's coming for your Social Security. He's coming for your Medicaid. These fascist, racist billionaires have 100's of billions, probably trillions of dollars, in offshore bank accounts, yet they raid the coffers of the programs built to protect you so they can hoard more wealth. Wake up.

I'm fucking exhausted catching up on the news of the day. I realize that's the goal, to wear us down. Don't let it.

Trump says only he and the AG can speak for "what the law is." So. A felon and the guy he picks are the only 2 guys for this. Perfect! THIS. IS. HOW. DICTATORS. ACT.

Just sayin.

Hey everyone it's me, the wrong L piece in Tetris. Fuck you

I'm sorry that I do not have a diplomatic or "proper" response to what's going on. I just feel like a lot of people need their asses beat. The time for words has passed.

Fascism begets revolution. #EatTheRich

Stay in school, kids. This working multiple jobs thing can be a real pain

The best pizza I have ever had is from a shop 30+ mins away from my house. The owner just teased opening a location 5 mins away from me. I will continue to exist only as "that pile of cheese and pepperoni" if this actually comes to pass

Fuck you very much, UnitedHealth

The only thing keeping me grounded these days are my wife and son. Family makes a lot of problems melt away.

I'm feeling...revolutionary.

What a title. GOP trying to take business away from The Onion at this point

I’d like to turn the difficulty down on life at the moment, please. No need for nightmare. Story mode is fine.

I highly recommend giving your cat a little kiss on the forehead

BREAKING: President Trump has withdrawn the U.S. from the United Nations Human Rights Council. This move will erode efforts to protect universal human rights and undermine the work of international bodies that hold all governments accountable.

Can't wait for the manufactured fear mongering shit every month.

Good job Trump you big orange bitch. You convinced Mexico and Canada to do shit they already were or agreed to do. Brilliant. Art of the Deal. Fucking knob.

Myles Garrett wants out, and I don't blame him one bit. It's exhausting being a fan of this poverty franchise. #Browns #NFL #Cleveland

Nah, this is fine, right, guys?

I love being called a communist, a socialist, whatever, for the simple idea that...**checks notes**... people should be treated well? Coooooooool. Mouth breathers.

A total of zero votes were cast for the guy currently running the country. Fuck Elon Musk.

The Dems will absolutely fuck that up. Assuming we even have elections going forward

Hell yeah, state-run media too??? Fucks sake.

BREAKING: Trump has signed an executive order creating a Sovereign Wealth Fund- popular with Middle East monarchies - so the U.S. can buy TikTok. That’s state-run media, folks. www.reuters.com/markets/weal...

Man I'm fucking exhausted. Guess that's the point of all of this, huh?

When Rand Paul starts making sense… 😕

Fucking Democrats man.

You're not overwhelmed. You're under attack.

The only thing stopping ice cream from being a breakfast food is you

This is all part of the clown show. It's rendered me awestruck in it's depravity

@corybooker.com hello I used to run the Wendy’s Twitter account and I am begging you to let me help you with the dems social media strategy, I will literally do it for free at this point

King.

Picked up some light reading for the weekend

Unionize Everything

Hell is empty, and the devils are all here walking amongst us.

Nothing to see here folks

Last quarter Meta generated $14.25 per person who used at least one of their apps, and I find it somewhat insulting that the price of American democracy feels rather cheap at an individual level. Anyway I deleted my Meta accounts and will be treating myself to a $15 cocktail in the near future

I've assembled a team of the most horrible perverts and criminals you've ever seen and we're going to fix this country