here's hoping Ol' Saint Nick has enough magic this year to slide down one lucky person's aorta and give the world the best gift ever: plaque blockage causing a sudden coronary

i keep all my valuables and prized posessions in a safety deposit xbox

cops absolutely will blow shit up given the chance abcnews.go.com/blogs/headli... www.cnn.com/2024/01/16/u...

god forbid bisexuals do anything

sincere request: if this Section 230 bill is so good, explain why my butthole smells so bad, liberals

Whois Query is it Anyway? Where the domains are made up and the owners don't matter

social media where you only get 2 "dunk tokens" per day. you can only dunk 2 posts every 24 hours. but if you say nice things about 100 posts you can earn another dunk token, as a little treat

evil jeff foxworthy stand-up routine be like:

just watched Baby Driver for the first time. doesn't drive a single baby through the whole thing. isn't even a baby himself. this movie is horseshit

Idiocracy and Clerks 3, say, are more serious works of film than Battleship Potemkin

charlie kirk checking twitter one last time before going directly to hell

*Nero fiddles so hard his instrument bursts into flames*

i’m setting you free. i’m releasing you from the discourse

barney's hide & seek game, magazine screenshot & caption, genesis, mega play, magazine (1993) archive.org/details/mega...

37 minutes into "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and i feel duped. tricked. conned. they haven't massacred a single chainsaw yet. haven't even roughed one up a little. this is horseshit

when a trans person exists in a video game

fall leaves? yeah, it's called winter, dumbass

somebody toucha my spaget. haha. remember that one. i love memes

"erotica" is so old hat "mommy porn" is too vulgar, crass why don't we try... "friction fiction"

*me at my very 90's computer in a very 90's time period on a Usenet forum* "Gore Vidal Sassoon is this anything?"

LSD

love it when the timeline aligns

hating on apple pie is one thing, but key lime? what's the matter Pecanboy, afraid you might taste something? and pecan pie? more like "pee-can slide down my throat before i'd eat this garbage." Pecans are nuts that taste like sawdust. hard pass

god forbid women do anything

hotpot ramen hunters is this anything

Ari Chron's Disease

Baja Blastrogen.

hold on, just... okay just imagining the shrill shriek parting from your beautiful lips as i pull out a delicious (stacked high like Shaggy would split with Scooby) ham sandwich in front of you on a non-religious day

dance dance revolution, warning screen, playstation (2001) www.mobygames.com/game/3794/da...

your honor me and my friends were only ~subjectively~ beating him with bats

JAV Titles:

CHRONO TRIGGER

i think the most controversial Jackson of the Jackson Five was Alan Jackson

one of the stipulations required by the Disney buyout of ABC was to suppress any and all recordings of the 3 hour Family Matters made-for-tv movie, where Urkel's machine sends the Winslow household into the far distant future where they meet proto-Urkel and beat him to death with baseball bats

did you hear. they call it the Bob Oldhart Show now. they say it's because the show is so old, but we all know the name really only changed because of woke

me taking a phat rip off the stick before telling my other crab friends that "delta p" is just a conspiracy theory, watch me do a sick flip off this broken pipe real quick

i'm about to "grid out" and go chill with Sasquatch in the woods instead of whatever the fuck is going on in the make-believe world of Financeland

i think it's really funny that Leftists (true Lefties, not Dems) are accused of "in-fighting" when it's often just ~holding accountability.~ meanwhile, the Right only looks lock-step so often because they have no trouble moving the goalpost down to hell to appease their Reality TV Sexpest Godemperor

"May a pirate and their blunderbussy never part" ~Old Pirate Proverb

I walk out w/a grossly-oversized chin glued to my face. "Cheryl Hines... have you seen this? Have you heard about this?" My Paul Shaffer clone scrolls his phone. "...she was rushed to ER last night after stepping in front of a car. She said 'I figured it was the only way to get Robert to eat me.'"

can't wait until the bot cracks and "Jesus" goes on a tirade of racial slurs

with all the simulator games coming to the market now, you gotta come up with some crazy concepts just to get noticed what if you like... what if you... farmed on some sort of, you know, farmland. maybe with some industrial farming equipment as well? i dunno man, sounds just crazy enough to work

starting a little rumor that "TRANS"-itions lenses with "BI"-focals makes you gay so all the 'phobic boomers throw away their glasses

gonna make a gay baby out of my jizz and a chicken egg. my little homounculus

from: [email protected] to: [email protected] Your Amazon order is expected to deliver today. This email was sent from an address that cannot accept incoming email. Please do not reply to this message. from: [email protected] to: [email protected] wwhere’s my ordur.. im a pedophile btw