omg stop calling it dick root. sounds stupid and is also a terrible metaphor. call it trunk i beg of you

i feel like tilda swinton’s character in we need to talk about kevin any time im in my hometown for no particular reason

my wardrobe is weak as fuck

fuck the foo fighters

Idk if this is the quintessential Onion headline but I've thought of this at least once a week for almost a decade

"It's giving Tuesday" texts read different when you're gay

That hung smile

a great song can be seven minutes and feel like four

stopping by dunks need anything?

with one month left remaining this year i’ve already spent $1400 more out of pocket on health related expenses than i did in the entirety of 2024

Don’t be normal

rummaging thru my brothers and SILs bedroom with my sister in laws sister plotting to steal our clothes back

Steam Room

I hate wristwatches

hell yea 🤟

apple music’s algo largely blows but their personalized radio station almost always hits

people posting about survivor and all i hear is reba singing her theme song

mandy patinkin’s voice is so soothing

get fucked angus king

pivoting to vers top (growing out my beard)

wait is ➡️ vers or side ???

store didn’t have any almond joys so i had to settle with mounds. still terrific

first date idea; exchange locations on find my friends then mutually ghost each other

men are so hot omg

berklee college kids hoppin on the green line with their gd obos and cellos swinging those mf’ers around with reckless abandon smh

And a big fuck you to Kim Davis you buck toothed, Gollum looking, inbred ass bitch ✨

two separate movies this week are hyper violent yet get the pg13 rating anyway. why not, i suppose

if i were an eco terrorist or worked for Big Plastic and wanted to wreak as much devastation as possible i’d simply invent iced coffee

Hilary Duff said we come to this place for magic bitch!

i’ve never deleted an alarm off my phone in my life

i stg every escalator in boston is permanently out of order

whoa is that a flicker of hope i feel?

BRING BACK THE SALAD BAR AND LUNCH BUFFET!!!!!!!!

tasteee

the only moral action is to abolish ICE and punish those who are members of ICE

Florence Welch the woman that you are!

Please be sure to check your kid's candy VERY carefully. I just found an unbalanced centrifuge in a Snickers bar. 🍬☠️💥

best part of halloween are gay guys in spiderman costumes

been a couple of days since i logged into bsky to remind everyone graham platner fucking sucks shit

need the hour to fall back because these mornings are difficult

i hear you loud and clear and will start posting 20x more often. maybe some dick, too

music.apple.com/us/album/spi... this song is about me

shaving is such a scam

i hope joe biden is suffering immensely

graham platner sucks shit and should fuck off

you should be able to block artists on apple music. i’m being harassed with chris brown’s music. he sucks!!

Whenever I see a hot man make an AI pic I’m just 😐

not d’angelo 😔 i’m so sad man