Like most comedy magicians, I am struggling both financially and personally.

What would be a cool second job 🤨

Mood type

Budgeting is making me fcking sick

This random YouTube documentary on the history of Catholicism in Philadelphia is actually pretty interesting

Okkkkk a knight of the seven kingdoms is good

Peppermint lip balm has my lips going Tststtststststststtstststststsstss

My hobbies include (in order specific order): - simulation video games - painting - listening to music while reading Wikipedia - tending to my lower back and other chronic issues* - this includes both yoga as well as getting stoned - daydreaming - naps of at least 1 but no more than 2 hrs

I thought 💭 woioooooioooi. Iioiiioioioioooooi non. OoijiioioIioiooooi oooioooooioooo. Iioiiioioioioooooijuld would love 💕

Thinking

Painted my nails cause I’m gay

Who wanna get snowed in together

The last thing I want to do on planet earth is wash my bedsheets but I must and I will !!!

I’m getting a stye

I hate waking up horny anyways good morning

Cherry Coke Zero

gm all

Olympicsmaxxing today

I’m a big bawl of stress so far in 2026

Just slammed a Pizza Hut pizza

Omg up to a foot of snow on Sunday

Why are ur ig story replies off u have 1400 followers bro ur not a celeb

Real RAYE fans were there ..

Against all odds I’m having a good day

𝓘𝓯 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓭𝓸𝓷’𝓽 𝓾𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓶𝔂 𝓼𝓲𝓵𝓮𝓷𝓬𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓷 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓭𝓸𝓷’𝓽 𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓿𝓮 𝓶𝔂 𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓭𝓼 💔

seeing that baby monkey suffering ruined my whole week omfg

we couldn't use government funds to buy coffee (like, folgers ground coffee) when i worked on a CDC outbreak emergency response

Gonna kms (Keep Making Smiles) 😀

Kms (keep making smiles)

I lack any competitive impulse. You want to win? Go right ahead. I’m happy for you!

Not feeling my best today

I watch #StarTrek because of the writing and the visuals. The visuals:

Fav Mexican place is closing down what’s there to smile about

we are so crazy lucky to be alive at the same time random Brazilian men are like “people online would like to see my dick. and I should show them”

Q: is there a technology that "the left" is excited about? A:

Subway door s were closing so fast I ripped those things open and fought my way on

I wonder if I’ve ever been a Beautiful Stranger to someone on the subway

They are hiring me as a lighthouse keeper so that the ships can smell me smoking weed on foggy nights when the light doesn't work

I like music that makes me want to bounce around my nonexistent huge tits while wearing an itsy bitsy teenie weenie bikini

About to get an afternoon coffee

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

I’m losing my marbles

TRAGEDY STRIKES! One of my subway boyfriends HAS A GIRLFRIEND

*pats belly full of sand* either way yhou're eatin good

And that’s on poop