I did warn you

up before the sun because I have to go downtown for an early meeting with an external stakeholder who can't be arsed to just reply to our messages, AMA

Citizens, rejoice! for my first shirtless pic of 2026 has been snapped, and calculations are underway for optimum posting time. Please try to contain yourselves in the meanwhile. Thank you.

I like starting an email with "I hope you've had a great start to the year" because it implies I'm about to ruin it

If Bluesky had private accounts, I would say "on Wednesdays we wear KINK!" and post a picture of me in a wrestling singlet but we don't have private accounts so here's a pink shirt instead

Just finished reading my first book of 2026 (Tehanu by Ursula K. Le Guin) which perhaps augurs I may read more than 5 books this year?

Love this from Guillermo del Toro

🎶 I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you 🎶 - me to the sandwich I just ate

You can’t scare me! I’m already frightened!!!

the only new year's resolution that matters is I wanna meet more bloomfs this year 😤

a spin-off with goats called Bleated Rivalry

2026 is gonna be my year!! (to deteriorate)

KATSEYE: 🎶 Touch, touch, touch, touch, touch, thought about you way too much, much, much, much, much. Yeah, you went and messed it up, up, up, up, up 'cause you've been so outta touch. You coulda had my love, but you've been so outta touch. 🎶 ROGUE: ....sugahs, I CAN'T HELP IT

"New year, new me," I giggle as my soul slips into another host body for the year

Goodbye 2025, it’s been quite the year. Here’s a post I wrote about a photo I took that meant more to me than any other this year. I’m not a natural writer so if you read it, be kind. www.rebelscout.co.uk/blog/chasing... See you in 2026 🫡

does everyone have their witty New Year skeets ready? If not, I'm selling mine to the highest bidder

found 'em and got to give them a try. They're gorgeous. I want.

a spin-off taking place on Bluesky called Skeeted Rivalry

That time of the year again (checking all the Best Books of the Year lists and shortlisting those books that appear in multiple lists)

got jolted out of sleep at 4.30 am by the sound of my clothes hangers gently clicking against each other in the wind, AMA

I ordered one, it arrived, I tried it tonight and it blew a nestling chia seed right out of my mouth so I'm going to say it's a success

ouch

SPOTTED THEM AT THE DUTY-FREE AND THEY WERE EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL IN PERSON

Just returned to work and I snuck into my office making minimal noise so they don't notice I'm back

don't know who needs to hear this but clean out your nose before going jogging (it's me, I needed to hear this) ((it's so hard to breathe, jeez))

...wait. Mayor Mamdani Flip it around... 😱

Heated Rivalry but make it sumo

damn it must be impossible to get a facial from a Storm Trooper

I can't explain what I mean but I want to live inside Episode 5

Diving in, let's see what all the fuss is about

someone on an AirAsia flight somewhere is about to get a whole lot smarter because I left my copy of Dragons of Eden by Carl Sagan in the seatback pocket 😩😭🙈

The category is: South Asian wedding realness

using infinite scrolling for the first time:

My brother generated an AI image (ugh) of the 7-year old nephew as a fighter and showed it to my nephew. When asked what was missing from the picture, the 7-year old said, "Explosions!" (The correct answer was name of fighter)

The 11-year old niece looked mortally offended when her grandma (my mom) offered her ketchup to add to her pasta. Clearly the niece has standards.

The 7-year old nephew has named one of my parents' goldfish "Buttcheek"

The 12-year old nephew is campaigning to be provided a phone and he just hit his mom with "the phone is a SYMBOL of your love for me" lmao My nieces & nephews are kinda cool, ngl

donkeys be like eat bray love

casually eating a snack, call that nom-chalance

being in a house with kids means you'll be minding your business in your room when suddenly you'll hear someone randomly shout "SIX SEVEN!!

crew member will be fucking ecstatic in an emergency

Another example: I just listened to Beyoncé's LEMONADE and ALL NIGHT would be in this list, what a stunner

I went here and everyone knew you

One of the few good things about my visit to the birthcity in winter is that I get to wear jackets again 🥳

I have delivered the gifts to aforementioned kids and now they're going around the family home in a line, chanting "labubu labubu" lmao what have I done

'terms & conditions' implies the existence of 'terms & shampoos'

not doing the best 4 pics trend yet because there's a fortnight of incredibly stressful 2025 events left and I tend to look my best when I'm stressed so-

it's my last day at work before I go on leave so of course everything everywhere is happening all at once

wriggly