been organizing with some VIPs lately and they love to text an ominous "Hello, [name]" or "good morning" and then wait for you to respond so they can text you what they wanted to say instead of just texting it all at once

used my last bit of Santal 33 for a work event and now I don't wanna shower and take it off lmao

The fit from the Elvis show I did backups for the other night may have changed my life🕺🏼🤘🏻

My company doesn't value me enough, like, which other employee is so thorough (read: anxious & paranoid) that they check their work laptop for updates one day before a major event to make sure the computer doesn't demand restarts while he's MC'ing

Decalcified the iron today, please clap

YOU: "gahdamn, your body is tea" ME: [burbles happily in the cup]

Benefits of early morning gym: (1) Dramatic lighting (2) When your earphones die on you, you can blast music on your phone because there's no one else there

do you think Scott Hunter hunts other Scotts or

Are any of you fine folks on Fable for reading shenanigans? hmu and keep me accountable for reading more, thanks fable.co/darthazius-4...

blocking all the profiles in Tinder's Top Picks tab to establish dominance

I regret to inform you that after getting these headphones, switching to Tidal's hi-res audio, and getting a Bluetooth adapter, I am now the kind of person who says insufferable things like "it's all the little details you never noticed-" and "you can really feel the TEXTURE of the song, y'know?"

Me examining my spine:

The boss is wearing the exact same easy-iron Uniqlo shirt that I've been wearing to work every week for years and this is an unexpected battlefront for 2026 but I will prevail

Frodo:

over a year later:

favorite thing about exercising the obliques is how the sides of your abdomen hurt the next day and you can't tell if it's the sore muscles or appendicitis

Finally watching Pluribus and...holy shit? It's 👏 SO 👏 GOOD 👏

up before the sun because I have to go downtown for an early meeting with an external stakeholder who can't be arsed to just reply to our messages, AMA

Citizens, rejoice! for my first shirtless pic of 2026 has been snapped, and calculations are underway for optimum posting time. Please try to contain yourselves in the meanwhile. Thank you.

I like starting an email with "I hope you've had a great start to the year" because it implies I'm about to ruin it

If Bluesky had private accounts, I would say "on Wednesdays we wear KINK!" and post a picture of me in a wrestling singlet but we don't have private accounts so here's a pink shirt instead

Just finished reading my first book of 2026 (Tehanu by Ursula K. Le Guin) which perhaps augurs I may read more than 5 books this year?

Love this from Guillermo del Toro

🎶 I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you 🎶 - me to the sandwich I just ate

You can’t scare me! I’m already frightened!!!

the only new year's resolution that matters is I wanna meet more bloomfs this year 😤

a spin-off with goats called Bleated Rivalry

2026 is gonna be my year!! (to deteriorate)

KATSEYE: 🎶 Touch, touch, touch, touch, touch, thought about you way too much, much, much, much, much. Yeah, you went and messed it up, up, up, up, up 'cause you've been so outta touch. You coulda had my love, but you've been so outta touch. 🎶 ROGUE: ....sugahs, I CAN'T HELP IT

"New year, new me," I giggle as my soul slips into another host body for the year

Goodbye 2025, it’s been quite the year. Here’s a post I wrote about a photo I took that meant more to me than any other this year. I’m not a natural writer so if you read it, be kind. www.rebelscout.co.uk/blog/chasing... See you in 2026 🫡

does everyone have their witty New Year skeets ready? If not, I'm selling mine to the highest bidder

found 'em and got to give them a try. They're gorgeous. I want.

a spin-off taking place on Bluesky called Skeeted Rivalry

That time of the year again (checking all the Best Books of the Year lists and shortlisting those books that appear in multiple lists)

got jolted out of sleep at 4.30 am by the sound of my clothes hangers gently clicking against each other in the wind, AMA

I ordered one, it arrived, I tried it tonight and it blew a nestling chia seed right out of my mouth so I'm going to say it's a success

ouch

SPOTTED THEM AT THE DUTY-FREE AND THEY WERE EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL IN PERSON

Just returned to work and I snuck into my office making minimal noise so they don't notice I'm back

don't know who needs to hear this but clean out your nose before going jogging (it's me, I needed to hear this) ((it's so hard to breathe, jeez))

...wait. Mayor Mamdani Flip it around... 😱

Heated Rivalry but make it sumo

damn it must be impossible to get a facial from a Storm Trooper

I can't explain what I mean but I want to live inside Episode 5

Diving in, let's see what all the fuss is about

someone on an AirAsia flight somewhere is about to get a whole lot smarter because I left my copy of Dragons of Eden by Carl Sagan in the seatback pocket 😩😭🙈

The category is: South Asian wedding realness

using infinite scrolling for the first time: