Bro invented DuskQuill

the soundtrack is *chefs kiss* especially 'la mujer más guapa del mundo'

You might say I’m crazy for hopping onto a plane to go meet a stranger 2,000 miles away and stay at his house for 4 days I say I got a free vacation, OR the opportunity to be the subject of a true crime doc, and if you’ve been following me long enough, you might’ve been featured, so… you’re welcome

Mexico's President, Claudia Sheinbaum, implies during a press conference her government will take action after an ICE agent killed Mexican national Lorenzo Salgado Araujo.

Watched Veneno all the way through for the 8th time and I cried like a bitch every episode as per usual Seriously, if you haven’t seen it, I don’t wanna hear about your gay hockey players ever again

So when other guys where short-shorts it’s “fashion” and “chic” But when I wear short-shorts it’s “f*ggy” and “we can see your **** hanging out” and “why are you hard at Home Depot?”

Stuck at MCO due to storms until 2am AMA 🤪 (And Venmo me money to buy a shot at the next bar that’s open that I find bc I am way too sober for this rn… jk - unless 👀)

I the only pilot into me is married and only hmu when he’s in town Meanwhile, this FA has treated me to all the perks and has ensure I’ve received VIP service on all these flights… When he’s not on the flight the other FAs ask how I have an industry seat and I’ve just been saying bc my bf 🙊

Went to the beach in a cute speedo and didn’t take a picture and post it captioned “my job is beach”

Don’t go jumping off water falls or whatever TLC said

Proof of life

Sasha taqʷšəblu Lapointe is, imho, one of the greatest writers currently alive Like… just wow…

Love MCO bc there are so many literal daddies 🥵

What do you mean it’s our third date and he’s flying me across the country to meet his family?! Why am I like this?? 😭😭

Gonna need everyone to do me a favor and pretend last night did not happen bc OOP

So I sat down in my Speedo and stood up and my friend started making fun of me 🥲

She doesn’t even go piss here girl!!

Freud would’ve had a field day if he knew that Jesus’ wife / gf had the same name as his mom

My friend is being a cum dump tonight and wanted me to be the first load And they say chivalry is dead

Oh y’all love shitposting but fartposting is where you cross the line

Bro I’m about to unsubscribe from @nordvpn.bsky.social bc their VPN connections suck ass

Spraying cologne on your chest before the club: generic, commercial, boring Farting into your cupped hand and rubbing it on your chest: unique, original, umami

Excited for Puerto Rico but mentally I’m here

A random Prince in Nigeria emailing me:

I keep saying this. Queer people are the designated scapegoats for the sins of patriarchy. We're persecuted *instead of* powerful rapists and child molesters - in churches, business, and government. Moralizing about queer people is a *substitute* for meaningful sexual ethics.

Bro I don’t know who broke JVKE’s heart but thank you bc 🥴

Honestly I forget that I don’t follow some of y’all on here just bc the algorithm always shows me your stuff and then I’m caught off guard when you’re suggested that I follow you lmao

When you’re being mean to me this is who you’re being mean to

It should be illegal to use Apple Pay if you don’t know how to use Apple Pay

“But I’m not a fighter!…” Said the man who just finished telling me about the time he was in jail in Mexico and how he got into a bar fight last week with a stranger My attraction to toxic Mexican men warrants a lobotomy

My life is absurd bc what do you mean I went on a date with a guy (🤢) who went into graphic detail about how he used to scoop out eyeballs from dead people The grossest part was actually just the fact that I went on a date with a guy

As always. To the entire Mexico fútbol team - yes

Not to talk about w*rk 🤢 on here But getting to work with trans people is so fkn cool and special A client just came out to their parents and they showed me the video they made to come out to them Such a privilege to get to be a part of someone’s journey as they become themselves

Ended up f****** a guy at one bar and s****** off my friend in another - a Sunday funday was had indeed 🤭

Hey chat what do we think?

I cried last night for the first time in ages and it felt so good It was a deep cry, but after years of ignoring things, I think I still need much more for it to be a cathartic release and process all those emotions

So we’re all just gonna not pay our student loans starting on the first, right?

Gay porn plot except it centered on existentialism Two guys discussing the climate crisis and decide to fuck bc fuck it were all gonna die anyway

Let me get this straight I’m not a homeowner bc I “spend too much money on avocado toast” But when landlords complain that a rent freeze would negatively impact their lifestyle they aren’t shamed for buying too many properties that they can’t afford??? Inch her roasting

The straight bros are complimenting my beard at the gym 😃 But not my gym crush 🥲💔

What’s absolutely wild to me is that two of my favorite colognes from high school, which both have since been discontinued, are now over $500 on Amazon They were like $50-75 back in the day And I still have a bottle* of one of them that is my throwaway post-gym scent in my gym bag lol

Big if true

Honestly if you’re not sending your friends a 10 minute voice note about your sexcapades what are you doing???

Yard work or yardly working?? Hyuck hyuck hyuck

Bro he kept asking for pictures bc he didn’t believe I was real and then he blocked me!!! 😭

Sometimes, I really wanna quit it all and become a chef Then I remember that two of my favorite chefs died by suey side And then my suey sidal-ideation-prone ass is like “yeah probably best we don’t do that, focus on your excel spreadsheets”

Finally, after 9 years of flirting, his divorce and my break up, I got to fuck my bartender

I think I’m gonna go to the Rosalía concert tomorrow by myself and… I’m honestly kinda happy about it

Y’all I’m so excited to see my cat

Is speedo Sunday a thing?