Who wants to be girls? I can help

Okay I have a cat now

These cashiers are being a little TOO quick to type YES to “does this customer appear to be over 30?” when I’m buying alcohol 😭😭😭

More like Kristi No-more, amiright?! 🤣

Bruh

Going line dancing with a cutie tonight

Having a d*ct*rate and being gay is so unserious Like yes I wanna discuss imposing tau invariance and about how I got ****** off on the ***** ***** in the same sentence

James Talarico is set to win the Democratic primary in the Texas Senate race, CNN projects.

yes, it’s hung

Your employer is legally obligated to allow you up to 2 hours of PTO if you do not have a 2 hour consecutive window before or after work to vote, so if you work 8am - 6pm you are allowed to use 2 hours of PTO to go vote today.

Texans, polls open in just over 10 minutes. 7am - 7pm. I suggest going early as lines will be long at the end of the day BUT as long as you are IN LINE at 7pm you will be allowed to vote.

Not me getting a “help is available” message after listening to Adam’s Song five times in a row 😭😭 Mind your business and let me be sad

You see me wearing this across the dance floor What do you do?

This really sweet guy offered to help me pick up and move a couch into my new place and then I thanked him by fisting him I love our community so much 🥲

Giving a presentation to multiple departments tomorrow and YES I’m using a certain stock photo purely bc I think the guy in it is extremely sexy

I love how I was like - in 2026, I’m focusing on me and I’m going to stay off the apps etc etc And then my life fell apart and now I’ve made more men *** in the last 6 weeks than I did in the last 6 months of 2025 I dunno… it was that or drinking myself into oblivion, so I call that harm reduction

So picture it: - I’m getting ready for bed Fast forward to: - me gooning - popper piggy - swallowing my fourth l*** of the night Is being a slut in this city going to earn me a reputation? Well, yes But at least that reputation will include throat GOAT

I miss tumblr because I can’t post things like “they’re having me humanely euthanized after this” without concerning a whole bunch of people

from the cuck-mander in chief

I *promise* I went to a coffee shop to work I don’t know how my fist ended up in a guy it was just… there all of a sudden

in times like these I find it is important to remember the four “R”s: • reduce • reuse • recycle • Rihanna #wordstoliveby #livelaughload #itsnotawhorehouseitsawhorehome

Everyone wants to lmao but I’m just trying to roflcopter

Avoiding the Sunday scaries by being scarier

Well, someone was hogtied and the reviews are in

Who’s ready to be hogtied?

A symptom of adhd being constantly having to fight for your life to remember to take your meds is a cruel joke

I’m gonna shit on these walls Ray! I’m gonna fart in your mouth!!

There was 100% a Spanish class in my high school where the teacher never spoke Spanish and would just play whatever movie he felt like watching (often in English)

The man who is not my man told me he wants me to shave my bush

Bloomfies reposting this 😭 y’all the real ones ******* saving this picture are fake af :/

Heard you needed to see a man about a horse 🐎

Millennial Buddhist teachings:

Well divas, I guess it’s time for a voice reveal

disassociating

If *it* happens while I’m at work, I need one of you bitches to call me to override my phone’s DND I will not miss the celebration on bsky

No one: Miley Cyrus in 2013:

Okay but how tall do you think I am? 🥺

Happy about drafts but once private accounts are here I’m probably gonna lock down, so follow now before it’s too late* *- sometime in the next 2-3 years when bsky figures it out

Some of y’all bitches are so dumb you can’t umm You probably couldn’t even umm You wouldn’t be able to… Uh yeah you don’t even know how uh

Rodeo season is almost upon us Which outfit should I wear?

Well, finally some good news - my friend in Iran was able to get in touch with me after almost a month of (ongoing) internet blackouts and he is still alive after tens of thousands of people were murdered in the streets

That’s going going down as one of the best lip syncs in this franchise bc jfc WHAT?!?!? That was WILD

Honestly the Vecna drag of it all

Noooooooo not Catherine O’Hará 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 ugh wtf

We as gay people need to make sure she is never forgotten! 😞

I might be forced to go to Sydney in the fall for a conference (oh nooooo!) If so I’ll need bloomfies’ recommendations and maybe a tour guide 🥺

All those “fuck your feelings” people seem to get real upset when their feelings get hurt 🤔…