Trust but verify Send me videos

The basket of condoms at the gay bar:

Houston is such a stupid city but I love it so much

5 bulbs of garlic Chicken Cream Butter Salt and pepper Deceptively simple, and yet extremely delicious If you aren’t into this then we can’t be friends

Me making შქმერული when I know damn well that my doctor is gonna tell me to eat less fat and bread and eat more vegetables during tomorrow’s appointment

She’s so cuddly

I honk shoo mimi’d and it was lovely 😌

Wait but did the mentalist see this coming or not?

I know a stunt queen when I see one

I’m torn between honk shoo mimi-ing early tonight or having a rager 🤔

I woke him up by wrapping my hand around his neck and ch*king him while I f***** him until he came 🤭

🙂‍↕️😒🤢😏😋🥵😫😩

“the early bird gets the worm” is a phrase about me putting my mouth on your morning wood

brb finding my sniffies hook ups on LinkedIn to see who gets a “you up?” message later tonight

And to think we could’ve had a president with an infectious laugh who knew she didn’t just fall out of a coconut tree

I forget that straight people can be on bsky :/

I just love that gays always have the cleanest VCRs 🥰

Why am I so damn h**** today 😩

Siiiiiiiiigh Just sent the same TikTok video to four different J names Pray for me

This one’s an oldie but I still like it Post you in another country Became besties with this cute little fella in Thailand

I wonder if the first person to lose a needle in a haystack knew how insurmountable of a task they were about to set out on

I just think it’s really cool that sometimes there are things that become more and less like that which they’ve become unlike those that have come before

Every AI commercial is like "Hey AI, what goes good on a sandwich?" and then the AI is like "Have you considered... cheese?" And then the narrator is like: THE FUTURE IS HERE.

trump ‘diplomacy’ 101

sundaymaxxing by jerkmogging my pp

And it’s been in my Spotify wrapped every year since

8 years ago today, Billie Eilish & Khalid released “lovely.”

typical bluesky interaction

I’m happy for the winner, but the winner did NOT win that lip sync - let’s be so fucking fr for one second

Honestly so happy for all this Miley love bc I love her so much

Okay ngl that nini performance ate

Should be seen but not heard 😌

Uhh….. 8 military fighter jets just flew really low overhead - I… do not like that

I did it 🙊🙈

Should I buy a book for $370 👀

On a scale from 0 (not dramatic at all) to 10 (okay maybe a little bit medium dramatic, but probably not that bad) How dramatic am I being for thinking about faking my own death so I don’t have to file my taxes today? Like a 1-2, right? So I should do it?

My favorite genre of music is emotionally devastating lyrics with an upbeat tempo and pain in each chord progression that you can throw your ass to on the dance floor

I’m not religious im any sense, but I would probably just end it all if I was having personal beef with the pope on the global stage

Watching the Hungarian election results while living in the US.

This is one of the most epic songs of all time and I literally grew up listening to this album and I’m so glad at least that part of my childhood was correct

How to not flirt with me 101

holes out for Hungary!!!

Torn between teaching myself piano or how to dj but does the world really need another *** with a turntable?

BlowJOB?! No, it’s a blowpassion, a blowhobby if you will. I would never perform oral in the capitalist mindset